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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel these parent are not understanding ( WhatsApp and Sats )

190 replies

Bringmecookies25 · 12/05/2025 01:07

I will try not to drip feed.

DC clas have been preparing for the Sats with mocks/ practice and this has included doing it exactly the way it will happen on the day which has lead to other students noticing “ access arrangements “
today a parent queried in the class WhatsApp group about this
for example “ Henry has said that some people are not completing the tests independently and staff are writing/ reading for them and that a few of them do not finish at the same time and can leave the classroom “

it was politely explained by one parent and seemed to be accepted by parent of Henry - this thought triggered another mum who to be fair is often triggered to pipe up and go on a rant about how it’s always the children who get it easier and it will not be a fair judgement for secondary school sets etc
( area means most children will be going up to the same secondary school ) they then started rambling about GCSEs like what happens at GCSE they get an easier ride in them to get in to colleges ?
this then caused a trickle ( not most ) but a few of the other parents to join in agreement.
My DC is one of them who will be receiving the access arrangements and probably more so than the others as they will have extra time / breaks / scribe and reader in maths etc.
from mocks my DC is likely to get
WT nearly WA in spag - last came out at 97
WA in math - last was 102
GD in reading comp - last was 117
will score low in teaching assessment of writing.
one of the complaints was which I did take to it to beinf towards my DC that sole on the children are not even behind and it just means they will be benefit and have less stress than her DC.

I just wanted to shout at them they have no understanding of the situation and that the point of access arrangements is not to give them a better chance than others but to give them an equal chance !

OP posts:
blueredpurple · 12/05/2025 01:12

They are a bunch of ignorant cunts. Ignore. You can’t argue with stupid people.

tellmesomethingtrue · 12/05/2025 01:26

I completely understand why some children need a scribe, prompt, reader and extra-time. Please feel completely validated that your child is being given an equal chance of being successful. I hear you.
Thos other parents are ignorant morons. If you were to reply then you should just write the last sentence in your original post.

Allswellthatendswelll · 12/05/2025 01:57

This is awful! Honestly at my school about a third of the kids or more have something in place. It's just about getting the best out of them. Tests are such an arbitrary way of assessing anyway as some kids are good at them.and others aren't.

If its year six you don't have long in that WhatsApp group anyway. I am of the firm belief class WhatsApp groups are for factual information only and not random debates. I'd just mute.

MrsFrumble · 12/05/2025 02:11

Secondary schools don’t use SATs scores for setting anyway.
You could respond to the moaning parents by pointing out that if they feel their child could benefit from accommodations, there’s nothing stopping them from raising it with the school and pursuing a diagnosis 🤷🏻‍♀️

BByMama765 · 12/05/2025 02:33

Becoming a parent doesn't make someone smarter or more empathetic. Those are examples of self centered idiots. Ignore.

cheerupbuttercup · 12/05/2025 02:35

Equal isn’t always the same. End of.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/05/2025 02:46

Urgh had this when DS was doing his GCSE's. Thank goodness Whatsapp etc wasnt a thing back then.

Some kids and then their parents, kicking off at the school because he could use a laptop for essay exams and a scribe for maths. Thats because his cerebal palsy means his handwriting is illegible, but he can touch type with one hand.

He has fucking brain damage! He didnt get a single C grade! But no, he had it "easier". He is 34 now but it still rankles.

Bringmecookies25 · 12/05/2025 04:17

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/05/2025 02:46

Urgh had this when DS was doing his GCSE's. Thank goodness Whatsapp etc wasnt a thing back then.

Some kids and then their parents, kicking off at the school because he could use a laptop for essay exams and a scribe for maths. Thats because his cerebal palsy means his handwriting is illegible, but he can touch type with one hand.

He has fucking brain damage! He didnt get a single C grade! But no, he had it "easier". He is 34 now but it still rankles.

This is the same reason as us !!
Like dc has a scribe - well because dc literally can not use their right arm 🙈🙈

although I do find it funny like what were they expecting as an alternative 🤣🤣

OP posts:
ROHnotok · 12/05/2025 04:26

To feel these parent are not understanding ( WhatsApp and Sats )
Zanatdy · 12/05/2025 04:27

I’d be furious and have to make a comment that would humiliate them in that group. So ignorant.

Happyinarcon · 12/05/2025 04:31

People are losing faith in schools and in how their child’s learning is managed in comparison to others. While it’s obvious that some children need additional support I can fully understand how it can look unfair and confusing, especially as some kids are left on waiting lists for ages and ignored

Morningsleepin · 12/05/2025 04:35

If their children inherited their stupidity...

Idioticwoman · 12/05/2025 04:43

Interesting

my daughter is doing SATS and I have no idea what your mock scores below mean

from mocks my DC is likely to get
WT nearly WA in spag - last came out at 97
WA in math - last was 102
GD in reading comp - last was 117
will score low in teaching assessment of writing.

what do the abbreviations stand for? I’m assuming you’re at a competitive school as our school haven’t told us the mock scores (DD knows but didn’t communicate well to me) or any of the abbreviations you mention. I’ve not looked into it myself as I’m not remotely bothered about SATs or any formal testing for 11 year olds.

if you’re in a pushy parent type school then I think you’ve got unlucky with the comments.

Crinkleybottomburger · 12/05/2025 04:45

Post this link to the JCQ’s access arrangements policy, all schools must follow these rules for GCSE, A Levels etc. Suggest they read all 124 pages to better understand the need for access arrangements.

https://www.jcq.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/JCQ-AARA-24-25_FINAL_accessible.pdf

https://www.jcq.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/JCQ-AARA-24-25_FINAL_accessible.pdf

Bringmecookies25 · 12/05/2025 04:49

Idioticwoman · 12/05/2025 04:43

Interesting

my daughter is doing SATS and I have no idea what your mock scores below mean

from mocks my DC is likely to get
WT nearly WA in spag - last came out at 97
WA in math - last was 102
GD in reading comp - last was 117
will score low in teaching assessment of writing.

what do the abbreviations stand for? I’m assuming you’re at a competitive school as our school haven’t told us the mock scores (DD knows but didn’t communicate well to me) or any of the abbreviations you mention. I’ve not looked into it myself as I’m not remotely bothered about SATs or any formal testing for 11 year olds.

if you’re in a pushy parent type school then I think you’ve got unlucky with the comments.

I mean the abbreviations were as I say it 🤣

their practice papers were shared in their school report
so 97 is working towards
102 which I would call working at standard
117 would be working in greater depth.

so quite a mix of below average and ahead for my Dc.

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 12/05/2025 05:07

I’d add this photograph to the WhatsApp group and just put under -

the stacking boxes are the access arrangements in the sats, is this what you want to take away from those kids that need them?

To feel these parent are not understanding ( WhatsApp and Sats )
UndoRedo · 12/05/2025 05:08

No idea of access arrangements in place for any of DSs class this week, not been shared or discussed. We are keeping it low key with the SATs, they don't matter and not important. The teacher though has been telling them these are the most important exams of their lives 🙄.

DS will get greater depth for all except maths, always been his hardest subject.

spoonbillstretford · 12/05/2025 05:15

Those posting might find their own kids have SEN at secondary school, as many, especially girls, have no difficulty until then. Though probably those parents won't acknowledge it or get help if they think SEN are made up. Some might though and your explanations may have been helpful.

MrsFrumble · 12/05/2025 05:15

Happyinarcon · 12/05/2025 04:31

People are losing faith in schools and in how their child’s learning is managed in comparison to others. While it’s obvious that some children need additional support I can fully understand how it can look unfair and confusing, especially as some kids are left on waiting lists for ages and ignored

It’s not really the fault of schools that waiting lists for CAMHs and educational psychologists are so long though. Fortunately schools don’t need an official diagnosis in order to add children to their SEN register or offer accommodations for assessments. In my experience primary schools are so desperate to get good SATs scores in order to remain popular with parents and therefore fully subscribed and funded, that they’ll be generous with accommodations for them and certainly won’t ignore the needs of any child they think could benefit.

sashh · 12/05/2025 05:28

Ask them if they think people who use wheelchairs are just lazy?

arcticpandas · 12/05/2025 05:33

Tell them that it's also not fair that disabled people get parking slots dedicated. Wtf is that all about 🙄

Pollygrip · 12/05/2025 05:36

Share this quote with them:

“Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same. Fairness means everyone gets what they need.” (Rick Riordan)

The other children probably understand this better than their parents.

NJLX2021 · 12/05/2025 05:36

Obviously they are wrong, but I don't 100% blame them.

Our education system still hangs on to the idea of competitive testing. It is still structurally present throughout our education, so its hard to blame parents for viewing the whole thing as a competition where any advantage given to one child is an advantage taken form another. A zero sum game etc.

Education research + theory has moved past this, and the ideas around the purpose of standardized testing have shifted far from 'competition'. We now aim to prepare children for future life and to contribute to society - which means preparing them for a world which will usually accommodate their individual needs. This is another backwards thing that you will hear "In the real world, no one will give you special treatment!" Yes, in a lot of situations, they will. And not just because it is required, but because it makes business sense. Why would you place fixed restrictions that limit the talent and ability of your workforce by not ensuring that each can perform to their best? More and more companies are realizing this, thankfully.

Generally life, work, business etc. All center around you being able to find a way to show your best ability. Not whether you can do exactly the same task better or worse than someone else, under exactly identical conditions.

But our education system still holds on to these outdated views, they are parroted by politicians who have no education in education, newspapers, journalists etc. and then filter down to parents who don't know better.

So they are wrong, but I can't 100% blame them, because they are just trying to play a system, and the system is still somewhat wrong.

PinkCentipede · 12/05/2025 05:42

@Bringmecookies25

I made a New Year’s resolution to stand up against bullshit - particularly over my DD’s EHCP. TBH I would stand up to this and completely shut this down. It’s up to you.

It’s so bloody emotionally draining, but I feel better when I fight these days, rather than letting this go.

I would quote the Equality Act to them:

“The Equality Act 2010 mandates that awarding bodies make reasonable adjustments to assessments for disabled students, ensuring they have equal access and opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge and skills. These adjustments, known as Exam Access Arrangements, are tailored to individual needs and circumstances, preventing students from being unfairly disadvantaged due to their disability.

“Inclusion in exams refers to making assessments accessible and equitable for all students, regardless of their individual needs or learning styles. This can involve a range of strategies, from providing accommodations for students with disabilities to designing assessments that are universally accessible. The goal is to create a fair and inclusive environment where all students can demonstrate their knowledge and skills without being disadvantaged by the assessment process.”

I’d point out that the Equality Act is supported by international law, so if they disagree with it - they will have to fight their ‘cause’ on a global level as exam adjustments do not just happen in the UK.

tripleginandtonic · 12/05/2025 05:43

You should have said that it was a leveller not an advantage Take the example of finishing a jigsaw, everyone who.is able to do it can, just sone need longer. Those that are capable if finishing it in the tine wouldn't benefit from more time because they'd already done it. Those who are unable to do it are still unable to do it even with extra time.