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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel these parent are not understanding ( WhatsApp and Sats )

190 replies

Bringmecookies25 · 12/05/2025 01:07

I will try not to drip feed.

DC clas have been preparing for the Sats with mocks/ practice and this has included doing it exactly the way it will happen on the day which has lead to other students noticing “ access arrangements “
today a parent queried in the class WhatsApp group about this
for example “ Henry has said that some people are not completing the tests independently and staff are writing/ reading for them and that a few of them do not finish at the same time and can leave the classroom “

it was politely explained by one parent and seemed to be accepted by parent of Henry - this thought triggered another mum who to be fair is often triggered to pipe up and go on a rant about how it’s always the children who get it easier and it will not be a fair judgement for secondary school sets etc
( area means most children will be going up to the same secondary school ) they then started rambling about GCSEs like what happens at GCSE they get an easier ride in them to get in to colleges ?
this then caused a trickle ( not most ) but a few of the other parents to join in agreement.
My DC is one of them who will be receiving the access arrangements and probably more so than the others as they will have extra time / breaks / scribe and reader in maths etc.
from mocks my DC is likely to get
WT nearly WA in spag - last came out at 97
WA in math - last was 102
GD in reading comp - last was 117
will score low in teaching assessment of writing.
one of the complaints was which I did take to it to beinf towards my DC that sole on the children are not even behind and it just means they will be benefit and have less stress than her DC.

I just wanted to shout at them they have no understanding of the situation and that the point of access arrangements is not to give them a better chance than others but to give them an equal chance !

OP posts:
JLou08 · 12/05/2025 09:36

bigvig · 12/05/2025 05:45

I understand some children need rest breaks smaller rooms etc. However I also see as a teacher that's it's often the children of more affluent /pushy patents that make sure their children get what they can in terms of access arrangements. I don't blame them for this i blame the process for assessing need. Look for example at the difference between private and state schools. It's not that hard to get extra time etc if you know what to say and do in the 'assessment'..

Are you not involved in the assessments? Is the teacher not the person who will know best if a child is managing or if they need extra support?

Annoyeddd · 12/05/2025 09:38

Those of us old enough to remember when sats were introduced the intention was to find out in a subjective and controlled way where there were gaps in abilities and knowledge in the general population of 7, 11 and 14 year olds which could be addressed. SEN children were assessed differently.
Children were not really aware of the testing it was just special work and parents were not informed (our bastard of a headteacher never told parents anything).
Things change in year 7 - teachers soon get to know abilities and gaps.
It seems a big thing now but by September will all be forgotten.

aredcar · 12/05/2025 09:38

Yanbu OP. Equitable access does not give your child an advantage. It removes their disadvantage. Some people really are ignorant. Ignore them

Slightyamusedandsilly · 12/05/2025 09:42

Helpel · 12/05/2025 09:34

I am confident she doesn’t have a condition. She is just not academic. And that’s ok, she is wonderful in so many ways. But she will start 5m behind this metaphorical start line, rather than on it.

I think it's totally your choice not to look into this. Obviously. You're her parent.

But IF she's slow, getting extra time in an exam would give her the time and the space to be able to explore her ideas in more detail. Slowness of response is literally what extra time is for.

If neither you, nor she, are worried about it, fair enough. But lots of children would be upset by never being able to finish.

Moglet4 · 12/05/2025 09:45

Idioticwoman · 12/05/2025 04:43

Interesting

my daughter is doing SATS and I have no idea what your mock scores below mean

from mocks my DC is likely to get
WT nearly WA in spag - last came out at 97
WA in math - last was 102
GD in reading comp - last was 117
will score low in teaching assessment of writing.

what do the abbreviations stand for? I’m assuming you’re at a competitive school as our school haven’t told us the mock scores (DD knows but didn’t communicate well to me) or any of the abbreviations you mention. I’ve not looked into it myself as I’m not remotely bothered about SATs or any formal testing for 11 year olds.

if you’re in a pushy parent type school then I think you’ve got unlucky with the comments.

WT - working towards
WA - working at
GD - greater depth
100 is average so how far above or below that mark a child is will determine their banding and be looked at by secondary schools to gauge where they are within the year group

2in2022twoyearson · 12/05/2025 09:50

As someone dyslexic I can see the unfairness of having 2 categories, one a set time, handwriting the answers. Two, extra time and can type up answers. In an ideal world exams would be set up in a why that would benifit all children. Eg loads of time, regular breaks a broad range of questions and question styles. I don't think this would work practically.

I didn't want to be in the special needs category. For example I could get a high mark on a calculator test in year 6 but didn't know my times tables. But I think it's fair for those who are skilled at processing to have the opportunity to sit a test and get a high mark....

I personally don't see why intelligence as in IQ should be higher valued than fast processing and elequent writing. Honestly, I have high IQ dyslexia and high iq intelligence is not a fantastic life skill.

fedup1212 · 12/05/2025 09:52

I’d have to leave the group. I dislike parent school WhatsApp groups anyway.

Beyond ignorant.

2in2022twoyearson · 12/05/2025 09:53

Fortunately when I was at school (00s) it was numbers not meets expectations, which sounds harsh to those not, and will make exceeds expectations children bigheaded. and we were allowed to work at our own pace. There was pressure for exams with schools but recognision children work at different paces. Shame it's gone backwards.

Moglet4 · 12/05/2025 09:56

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 12/05/2025 08:14

@Bringmecookies25 sorry not understanding sats here. different country. but if trying to be equal is the way forward then surely everyone should start at the same time and do the same test with no assistance. the way it seems to be done in your country is a bit like a game of golf. the better ones are given a handicap! I have never understood the use of handicaps in golf. everyone should start at the same line, do the same work alone, or end up with false results.

Edited

Oh dear 🤦‍♀️ The access arrangements are to make it equal and fair for everyone. For example, if a child has a physical handicap that means they can’t hold a pen then they are not on an equal footing with someone who has full use of their hand. That doesn’t mean they don’t know the information that the exam is asking for. As such, the access arrangements allow them to use a computer because they can just about manage a keyboard or they allow them a scribe. The scribe can’t correct the punctuation or grammar; they are just literally stepping into the role of a pen for the child. All forms of access arrangements work on this principle.

Hysterectomynext · 12/05/2025 10:03

These people are WT compassion

aredcar · 12/05/2025 10:04

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 12/05/2025 08:14

@Bringmecookies25 sorry not understanding sats here. different country. but if trying to be equal is the way forward then surely everyone should start at the same time and do the same test with no assistance. the way it seems to be done in your country is a bit like a game of golf. the better ones are given a handicap! I have never understood the use of handicaps in golf. everyone should start at the same line, do the same work alone, or end up with false results.

Edited

So the child with cerebral palsy who can’t hold a pen shouldn’t have a scribe?
the vision impaired child shouldn’t have a reader?
the dyslexic child shouldn’t have extra time?

seriously? The access arrangements are there to give equitable access. Not equal. Without access arrangements, those children would get false results, not with them.

SerafinasGoose · 12/05/2025 10:05

None of their damned business. If they focused on what their own children are doing, rather than other people's, they and everyone else would be a lot better off.

I have a DC with SEN, currently undergoing SATS. I would fight as much as necessary to get him the support he needs, and it can be an uphill battle to get this in place as every parent in similar circumstances will know.

What I wouldn't do is expend my time on any ignorant parent who, because their kid happens to attend the same school, thinks their opinion on other children's learning disabilities counts for anything. Don't even waste your energy trying to argue with stupid.

DiminishedSevenths · 12/05/2025 10:06

Slightyamusedandsilly · 12/05/2025 09:31

If I was trying to be pissy about it, I'd comment on how nice it must be to have neurotypical children. How much less homework they have to do, how much less support their children need, how much EASIER for everyone.

Not paying tutors, paying thousands for assessments and diagnosis privately because the state doesn't want to help NT children.

How we'd ALL love to have have NT children but that it is what it is. And to just be bloody grateful, instead of wingeing. Bet they hate gay pride month too.

Of course, I'd try not to antagonise them, because we've got to all get on. But they don't seem to worry about upsetting/antagonising US.

My son is NT but he certainly does not have it easy and neither do we as his parents. He has no SEN but is just not very clever. As a result he is dumped in the lower sets with badly behaving kids and is not entitled to any access arrangements or extra time. He is working so hard to scrape 4s in his GCSEs. He will never do A levels or go to university and it’s unclear what he’ll do as a career. I’m sure he’s not alone, there must be many others like him. But I find it very frustrating that people think he has an easy life simply because he has no diagnosable condition. I’m beginning to think that kids like him are the forgotten ones.

Toomanydogwalks · 12/05/2025 10:06

Access arrangements are to ‘remove any disadvantage’. They don’t give an advantage.

Fearfulsaints · 12/05/2025 10:13

DiminishedSevenths · 12/05/2025 10:06

My son is NT but he certainly does not have it easy and neither do we as his parents. He has no SEN but is just not very clever. As a result he is dumped in the lower sets with badly behaving kids and is not entitled to any access arrangements or extra time. He is working so hard to scrape 4s in his GCSEs. He will never do A levels or go to university and it’s unclear what he’ll do as a career. I’m sure he’s not alone, there must be many others like him. But I find it very frustrating that people think he has an easy life simply because he has no diagnosable condition. I’m beginning to think that kids like him are the forgotten ones.

Just to reassure you, there are so many options at college for pupils who haven't shined in the gcse system. They are a bit forgotten at school - in many ways by design. They need a certain number to 'fail" in that system.

I won't pretend that a 4 in maths and English aren't a stumbling block. So scraping those is very important. But Once he is out, it will get better.

DiminishedSevenths · 12/05/2025 10:14

Slightyamusedandsilly · 12/05/2025 09:42

I think it's totally your choice not to look into this. Obviously. You're her parent.

But IF she's slow, getting extra time in an exam would give her the time and the space to be able to explore her ideas in more detail. Slowness of response is literally what extra time is for.

If neither you, nor she, are worried about it, fair enough. But lots of children would be upset by never being able to finish.

I’m sure no one begrudges giving a child with no arms a scribe! But if we give children who just aren’t very academic for whatever reason extra time so that they can achieve a higher grade, does that not just undermine the value of the results? How would you compare one child with a 3 in GCSEs who didn’t have extra time with one who managed a 4 with extra time?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 12/05/2025 10:15

I’m not on any WhatsApp group involved with the parents in my children’s school. It’s honesty liberating and so first of all let me suggest you do your blood pressure a favour and remove yourself. I know everyone talks about how wonderful the groups are and that everything from birthday invites to social occasions occur on them so it’s an absolute must to be on them. Most of us have one good friend that can feed back the important stuff and filter out the nasty shit.

With all that said those women just sound ignorant. We are trained about the importance of Equity over Eqality. My child, along with others, needed a scribe during their SATS as their handwriting is illegible. No doubt the mothers would gave been scandalised by that also 🤪. Yes there is some truth that secondary is less pastoral than primary and unless the children have an EHCP laying out the help required it can be more difficult to access help BUT there is still allowances made if children have particularly problems during testing for example - even in GCSEs!!! So those women are going to have to suck it up that some children need a slight leg up to make the playing field equal.

DiminishedSevenths · 12/05/2025 10:15

Fearfulsaints · 12/05/2025 10:13

Just to reassure you, there are so many options at college for pupils who haven't shined in the gcse system. They are a bit forgotten at school - in many ways by design. They need a certain number to 'fail" in that system.

I won't pretend that a 4 in maths and English aren't a stumbling block. So scraping those is very important. But Once he is out, it will get better.

Yes my son is looking forward to college next year and I am hopeful he will enjoy it more than school. I just get frustrated when people think his life is easy because he is so called NT (although I think the term itself is meaningless).

Gizlotsmum · 12/05/2025 10:19

They obviously don’t realise how much evidence is needed to get the assistance needed. When we got it for my son the school had to show it was his normal way of working and evidence why it was needed for SATs. He is now in year 8 and we are looking at establishing what should be his normal working requirements to start to provide evidence for GCSEs. None of it is easy to get and isn’t done on a whim and as you said helps to equalise the exams rather than give added benefit. Ignore them.

LemonCake91 · 12/05/2025 10:25

It’s ignorance and you’ll be knocking your head against a brick wall trying to explain to these people. Don’t waste your energy.

ADHD and dyslexia are prevalent on one side of my family and only one of them received any help. Had they had some additional help back when they were at school, I know they’d have had a better school experience and their grades would have better reflected their actual ability!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 12/05/2025 10:25

DiminishedSevenths · 12/05/2025 10:14

I’m sure no one begrudges giving a child with no arms a scribe! But if we give children who just aren’t very academic for whatever reason extra time so that they can achieve a higher grade, does that not just undermine the value of the results? How would you compare one child with a 3 in GCSEs who didn’t have extra time with one who managed a 4 with extra time?

How is allowing a slower working child time to be able to finish a text helping them get a higher grade?

My friend who was given extra time STILL had to skip a question in both of his GCSE English exams literally because he worked so slowly he didn't have the time he needed to do the whole exam. He was still disadvantaged. He literally came out at a grade lower than he would have been if his score was averaged over the answers he did complete.

The extra time given isn't that much (it can go up to about 25% extra, but most children don't get this amount of extra time).

There is a vast difference between using extra time to write much better answers and using it JUST to be able to try to finish the whole thing.

Commonsense22 · 12/05/2025 10:29

NJLX2021 · 12/05/2025 08:29

It depends what sort of comparison you want your results to show.

The old idea was that exams are a direct comparison of innate intelligence or ability within a field, measured by asking people to perform an identical task in an exactly controlled condition.

The new idea of exams is to measure the maximum potential of a student to complete tasks in a method that suits them.

But the current system is (like a lot of our education) a bit of a mess of both. Education research and academia has moved on from no.1, but policy/government/teachers are hard to change, so only limited movement towards no.2 has happened. In some cases its actually moved back towards No.1, especially with the scrapping of coursework in favor of examinations.

Extra help in examinations are examples of small gains towards the new idea of examinations that have been achieved and cemented within the curriculum.

As for why Education academia thinks the second is more useful than the first approach - that is another big and interesting debate. Maybe for another thread.

Edited

Excellent post.

It's a really interesting philosophical question and I'll put my neck on the line to say both types of assessment are useful / needed.

But the WhatsApp class conversation is no place for that debate, SATs is the perfect type of exam that should allow accommodations as it's to measure school performance in helping their pupils achieve, and I'm sorry the OP's child is having to face this questioning.

SalfordQuays · 12/05/2025 10:31

It is every child and parent’s right to not reveal their medical details, and they should never be made to do so. However, I always think the main thing that causes people to get angry is lack of information. Yes I know we should all assume “hidden disabilities” and just accept it, but human nature isn’t always like that. People want to know why someone else is seemingly getting a leg-up. So if you’re offended OP, would it not be best to educate these ignorant parents, so they have some understanding of what your child is up against? You can’t really blame people for not knowing things that they haven’t been told.

JustMarriedBecca · 12/05/2025 10:33

A lot of good comments and suggestions here.

I'd probably respond, on the basis I hate our group what'sapp -

"Sorry it's taken so long to respond. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor and calm down before responding.

The Equality Act establishes reasonable adjustments for disabled children. It's a shame for you that bias, unawareness, stupidity and discriminatory behaviour is not a protected characteristic otherwise you would have had reasonable adjustments yourself and be familiar with the process (Jane).

I will not be engaging in this topic further on this group and I am not willing to discuss it further in person or via DM with you".

Sometimes the only way of dealing with these cliquey Queen Bee types is to take them head on. Her jaw will hit the floor but GOOD

My ND got full marks in her SATS and is top 1% in national testing but STILL gets reasonable adjustments like a separate room or different seat near a closed window because the sensory issues of other children moving around her / lighting etc. / open window noise / wind would impact her performance. She might (one day) be capable of Oxbridge / solving cancer / composing like Mozart so why should the fact she's "doing OK academically" not permit her an equal playing field.

fiorentina · 12/05/2025 10:35

These people sound horrific. One of the best things about the end of year 6 is leaving primary school WhatsApp.

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