To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

I was told you need 2200 calories approximately, so 200 more than normal (eg a slice of bread plus toppings) this is only an average.

perhaps learn to be less rigid with food and simple trust your instincts, if you are hungry eat more

The problem is the OP is very active and has worked out her marinating calories is 2100. So she is in deficit even if she wasn’t pregnant.

Plus pregnant with twins so should be adding on 600 calories. Bringing her ideal total to 2700.

The OP also has very black and white thinking. She either monitors and controls her diet very very carefully or she will get obese. Going from one extreme to another. 8.5 stone for her was ‘fat’ which is nonsense.

Eating disorders / disordered eating isn’t just about severe calorie deficit but the thought patterns that go along with food, obsessing over it and the fear of not being in control.

These are why people are concerned the OP has strayed into distorted eating patterns. Her husband being concerned about the level of exercise ands lack of food is either him being controlling or he is seeing the disordered thoughts and is trying to help.

I also think the fact she made this post is key. Yes her husband could be controlling but more likely given he is worried about her exercising levels and the amount she eats he is concerned. So both the person she lives with is concerned about this plus how she comes across in this thread the chances are there is something there.

You’re eating enough for a non pregnant lady. You likely need a few hundred calories extra per day.

I did a lot of swimming and tried to eat healthily when i was pregnant and didn't gain any weight (apart from a 9lb baby!). I think it sounds like you're eating plenty, just being extremely healthy which is great. I never counted calories or had any idea if i was eating the right amount. I've also always been underweight by BMI and had to have extra scans due to my low weight. It was just a box ticking exercise for the NHS, the consultant couldn't believe I'd been sent to see her. You'll be fine.

Being fat is your worst nightmare? Really? That's a bit alarming if true.

Single pregnancies are not the same as twin ones.

Wow he’s very controlling and has a warped perception of what’s actually in your control. Eating and moving ‘perfectly’ doesn’t guarantee a healthy pregnancy. Not everything is in your control or down to a healthy diet and lifestyle. He’s attributing too much power to these things. If something went wrong, would he then blame you and your imperfect diet/lifestyle?

5ft 4 and a size 8??
you must be a bag of bones!!!
size 10 at 5ft 4 is not fat,

I do worry about some peoples perceptions of what is fat, etc.

Being 5ft 4 and a size 10 is in no way fat.

However, I would say at that height, if you're getting into a size 14, you are a bit on the chunky side.

Im 5ft 3 and currently between 12-14 sizes depending on the fit etc. I know I am a bit chunky, overweight, but I wouldnt call myself "fat".

I was most comfortable, and the healthiest I was at a size 10, and BMI at around 22.

I have had a BMI ranging from 15 (yes, madness!) To 31, so been at all ends of the scale. Currently I am at 29, but on a weight loss journey (6lbs in 2 weeks!)

Exactly right. Re-posting this:

“Calories are critical to helping you and your babies gain weight during pregnancy. With twins or triplets, you should increase your daily intake by 300 calories per baby in the first trimester, 340 calories per baby in the second trimester and 452 calories per baby in the third trimester”

https://www.brighamandwomens.org/campaigns/mfm-nicu/nutritional-goals-during-a-twin-pregnancy#:~:text=Calories%20are%20critical%20to%20helping,baby%20in%20the%20third%20trimester.

Just because you’re going private, OP, doesn’t mean you can’t have support. There’s something wrong if you think being 8.5 stone is fat, and feel the compulsion to reduce and control calories so much - as well as your revelation that you think the worst thing that could happen is you getting fat. It makes me very sad. Please get support - from your private provider, from your GP, from a private midwife, or, indeed, more than one source. If a nutrition plan would take the decisions/mental load from you, then ask for that.

What about the amniotic fluid? Placenta? All of that plus the baby should weigh about 2 stone, so if you only gained 9lbs then you must have lost approximately 1 stone 3 of fat and muscle. Thats not good.

However, I would say at that height, if you're getting into a size 14, you are a bit on the chunky side.

When pregnant with twins??! The OP needs to put on weight and eat properly.

I’m straight out saying anorexia and the poster is clearly unwell.

No, in general outside of pregnancy.

BMI shouldnt be considered when you are pregnant. They tell you not to use this tool when pregnant

I’ve read the full thread now and it seems OP, there are some worrying signs / behaviours and your husband has reason to be concerned. Please seek support from your maternity team.

Are you looking for permission to eat more - if so, then yes you will need to eat more when carrying twins.

It’s always best to follow your appetite which may or may not increase in pregnancy
OP may have a small frame( as do I) so although she is at low end of bmi, she is not in the underweight category.
When I was expecting DS1 now 31, I was weighed at every appointment
That isn’t done as it doesn’t matter.
Babies take what nutrients they need from their Mother

I started off thinking you're eating enough but if your TDEE is 2100 at your height and weight, you must be very active and you sound obsessive about your diet. You're not eating enough to maintain your weight, let alone to grow twins.

Getting and staying fat is your worse nightmare? I don't think that's normal. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that or even admit to that anonymously on an online forum.

Everyone who’s slim and works hard to stay slim would say the same.

I think if you asked Victoria Beckham right now OP she would tell you it turns out her worst nightmare is now something very different to getting fat.

because here is the thing right now your worst nightmare could actually be dangerous for your twins it is why frankly given what you have said about your income you should be getting a dietician involved to properly plan out what you need.

and no it isn’t normal because it highlights an element of control around food that is potentially dangerous

I really don't think they would. Not at the expense of their developing babies.

You ignored my questions earlier - have you put on any weight since you got pregnant, and what do you think would be a healthy weight gain by the end of your pregnancy?

I only found out that I was pregnant two weeks ago and haven’t weighed myself. I am hoping that my total weight gain will be about 30 pounds.

What on earth does Victoria beckham have to do with this