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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have women become soft

206 replies

peeweehill · 09/05/2025 21:18

Hear me first ive just got in from having a chat to my neighbour shes almost 80 really sweet lady known her for years.
Well we was having a natter while she was waiting for her daughter to arrive (she`s going away for the weekend) and i said something how society has changed a lot and how far technology has come.

She agreed it was all for the best and how we would of loved it back in the day. She then said the biggest thing that she as noticed the most is that women are getting softer.
I said what do you mean she replied with we all used to be tough as nails now most are gone soft.
Before i could reply her daughter arrived she said catch up when i get home on monday.

Now im waiting for monday lol😆
It got me thinking have us women got softer.🤔
Some of what i read on MN i think she may have a point i think i dont know.
What do you netters think.

OP posts:
Seymour5 · 12/05/2025 07:58

Bitchesbelike · 11/05/2025 23:27

boomers, as a generation, have had it much much easier than any generation in the past, and arguably easier than the generations coming after: most women got to retire with a pension at 60 (and even then that was if they worked after they got married), decent workplace pensions, affordable housing (either council housing or purchasing a house at an affordable price). Free university education, (some even had a grant for living costs), NHS in its glory days….

Boomers span more years than other demographics. 1946-1964. My life, born soon after WWII, is very different to 1960s born. I was a teen by then, and life had changed a lot.

Slum clearance only began in earnest in the 1960s, lots of boomers grew up in dire surroundings, and there was still rationing into the 1950s. I was lucky, although my parents private rented, we had a bathroom. Some of my schoolmates lived in pretty awful tenements, one toilet between several families, those who got a council house were privileged, they were expensive! They were also usually well looked after by the occupants.

Most of my cohort at school left at 15. University, whilst free, was for a small minority. Some, like me, went to secretarial or f/e colleges, but a large number in my home city went into mills or factories.

I was lucky to retire from full time work at 60, but with a poor pension, both state and occupational. When I was a part time worker I had been unable to join the pension scheme, and there were no NI credits for SAHMs when my DC were born. Nor was there child benefit for first borns until 1977. I worked P/T after retirement age as did DH, until he was 67. We did buy a house,and although it was relatively cheap compared to later prices, we often struggled because of the interest rates. I wonder if younger people realise that the basic rate of income tax was over 30%. The Thatcher government reduced the basic rate from 33% to 30%. And it has reduced more over the years.

None of our DC, or their partners, born early 70s, expect to work past 60, more of their generation grew up in decent housing, and there was more aspiration and encouragement to get qualifications. There has also been a growing awareness of the need for extra pensions, and now younger state pensioners (post 2016) get over £50 a week more than older pensioners, and everyone in work has the option of a scheme.

https://thepeoplespension.co.uk/support-for-pension-scheme-members/know-your-pension/pension-basics/2025-26-state-pension-changes/#:~:text=If%20you%20receive%20the%20new,or%20after%206%20April%201953

My generation rarely inherited, but the descendents of boomers certainly will!

JHound · 12/05/2025 10:26

NattyTurtle59 · 12/05/2025 00:07

Have you been on MN long? There are numerous posts here every week from women putting up with shit, and they can't seen to work that out for themselves. Do you really believe we are living in an ideal world where DV doesn't exist? Do you really believe that all women are with men who do their fair share of the parenting, housework, etc.?

I am talking about women who refuse to put up with shit.

Those women are frequently labelled “soft” in response.

I only hear it used in regards to people standing up for themselves, pushing back at sexism, harassment etc.

peeweehill · 12/05/2025 20:50

UPDATE IS IN.
My lovely neighbour came home today so i went in the garden to say hi when i saw her.
Telling me all about her weekend away i said i was thinking of what you said before you left the other night.
She replied with what`s that love i said women have gotten soft.
Hears how it went.

She said oh yes so have the men with there parenting.
Good and bad wherever you go but some need to put the phones down and do some parenting and stop blaming everything on some disorder dont you think so.
ME im sure we all do our best.
Her reply.
And men that think its a free ride in life run to the pub but cant be bothered to teach their own kids how to connect a cooker up or fix a light.
Its not all down to teachers is it really they teach maths and english not life skills love.
Didn`t know what to say to her after that so just chatted about the garden
But at least we know what she was on about.

OP posts:
TipsyRaven247 · 12/05/2025 20:53

Many of them are wet lettuces. Just have a look to the posts they post in this forum.

IberianBlackout · 12/05/2025 21:59

@peeweehill to be fair she wasn’t really wrong on that one.

peeweehill · 12/05/2025 22:01

IberianBlackout · 12/05/2025 21:59

@peeweehill to be fair she wasn’t really wrong on that one.

I think the same tbh.

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