Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

Do NOT buy him this for Christmas op.

It was an overstep, it was a bit tasteless but I can’t see you have an option other than to see the funny( ish) side now op.

And don’t trust what’s app groups again ( or say that kind of thing.)

I have now!

LOL! I'd have been rolling at that OP! Hopefully she left to go find herself a sense of humour.
(This was also terrible of you & I'm sure you'll be punished accordingly)

Op, I wouldn't be embarrassed! I'd double down and own it!! It may not have been the correct forum but fgs you're all adults. It's not your workplace so no recourse there. The blokes a fitty AND WHAT????

Er.. we all know what she said as she’s written it above!

I've said already that the OP was wrong to say what she did in that particular WhatsApp group. I'm not disputing that. It was disrespectful remark about someone that wasn't appropriate given that there were other parents in the group who she didn't know very well. As I've said - anyone in the group would have been perfectly justified in pulling the OP up on it and saying 'It's not OK to speak about someone like that in this group'.

However, the only person who is making the remark a potential problem for the teacher is the person who tells him about it. The OP made a remark that offended people in the group. She is at fault for offending them. She is not, however, at fault for someone else's decision to tell the teacher about it.

Think about it like this: my friend is an author. Occasionally, fans of hers will send her links on Twitter to really negative reviews of her books - an 'OMG, have you seen how horrible this nasty critic has been about you? So angry on your behalf!!' kind of thing. And my friend always, always says that she's far more pissed off with the person who sent the review to her than the person who wrote it. The person who wrote the review didn't share it with her and had no intention of hurting her with it. The person who sent it to her, however, was drawing her attention to it and therefore causing her hurt she would not otherwise have suffered, when she would have happily been none the wiser. Same principle here.

We’d all be scandalised if it was a dad about a female teacher. It is double standards to think it’s funny.

But it’s happened oP and you have to move past it. If she really did report it, perhaps an in-person apology might be appropriate - but you’d want to work out who knows what first. Bowling up to him and telling him would be a bad idea if the Head has simply taken it no further.

Because she’s married and it’s a whattsapp group mainly set up to discuss their children’s activities,
You don’t want to be ‘that mother’

Sitting on someones face...that's quite intense imagery to put into the minds of the entire class WhatsApp group! I am mortified on your behalf. I am just imagining how that would go down in our Y1 class group - we only talk about PE kits and party invites, its very tame! Think I'd be shunned forever and thought of as a nympho if I wrote that. But your group sounds a bit more lighthearted so they'll probably all forget about it in a few days. I wouldn't worry.

Edited as ive read the updates.

I dont think getting someone drunk and then bundled into a taxi is funny. Date rape hahahaaha

You say that like every class has a face-sitter.

At least you know who the grass is, I suppose

If he's anything like my DH hedge a bit unbearable strutting like a peacock for a few days but other than that no harm done OP

Oh OP I am mortified for you!!! I once told a colleague they were the best looking of their cohort, to their face, for no apparent reason, I still cringe thinking about it. Hope you are okay, hope your child is in their last term at this school 🤣

Omg 😨

This is a WhatsApp group with strangers and you posted that??

I wouldn’t report it but I would think you’re a right wrong’un. Imagine a man talking about a female teacher like that. In fact most people did on the pervert thread and thought it was awful. You need to sort out your drinking and boundaries!

I know, I read the thread afterwards and wqs mortified for the OP as she was more version 1 than version 2 😶😆

She must be a bit of a square.

Lesson learnt. Apologise and stop worrying about it 😁😂

…he’s probably extremely flattered 😁

I jokingly said ‘If I was you then I’d just use X’s (teachers) face as your seat, don’t tell me none of you have never imagined it either’.

It's probably the part about asking others if they'd never imagined something so crude that tipped her over the edge. I wouldn't have reported you but you seriously misjudged the temperature of the room for those kind of 'jokes'.

I'd think it was pretty skanky if a bunch of blokes were sitting on a WA group sending messages about sitting on the face of a female teacher at their kids' school. In the same circumstances, I'd probably admire any bloke who removed themselves from the group were this a pattern of behaviour as opposed to a one-off.

But I'd be very surprised if anything came of it.

Didn’t say that at all

Let's think about if for example, you were at work and there were clients, and in a client group chat, say that was set up to organise something to do with work, that had say, 30 people in it, all different clients, one of them said what OP said about you in the chat. Would this be Ok?

I bet you can get a nun’s habit Amazon’d to your house no later than tomorrow. Sister Wonderwall has a nice ring to it. 😂

Blimey, what a tell tale giant baby!! I absolutely hate goodie two shoes people like this. Honestly, if it was me I would tell her to grow up and unclench. Twat!

It’s just a joke.

“ That parent “ normally refers to the parent who is always down at the school complaining, or pushing their child forward - or some other thing that is actually very common behaviour abd most classes do have at least one.

This is more … niche.

It's a bit creepy and a bit inappropriate for a school mums WhatsApp group but reporting it to the school is batshit, and a waste of their time. The school aren't an authority over you, you aren't a pupil there.

If a man did it I would think he was a right creep, but I wouldnt report him to the school. I'd probably call them out on it on a WhatsApp group

Don't worry OP, it's way more embarrassing to be the woman who's still telling the teacher on bad behaviour rather than dealing with it themselves!