Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

Tbh OP, I think it’s funny and I’d laugh if someone on my group said it, however, I can’t help but feel there is a bit of a double standard going on here. if you were a man and you were talking about a female teacher MN would go wild.l 😂

Is he really that good looking?

i cannot imagine posting that in my child’s class WA!!!! Gosh I live a sheltered life. That really quite vile, op, you need to think about how that might land in future - that’s what private messages are for! Please don’t think this is ok, it’s really not.

I agree to be honest. I am pretty crude but find OP's comment outrageous. I wouldn't have reported it to the school but you know 100% there will have been spin off WhatsApp chats discussing it!

OP you absolute menace! Perv! To be honest if he’s a fit male teacher… he’s heard much worse. My mum works in a pre school and there’s a male teacher there and oh my god… women throw themselves at him. He’s no Clooney, in the wild you wouldn’t look twice but in a female dominated work environment… he gets a lot of attention. I will say tho he did once look kind of cute when he was comforting a crying little girl and pulled a plaster out from behind her ear to make her smile.

No, she just wants to sit on his face...

Well you don't say you want to sit on the face of someone who you aren't attracted to.

I have a bit of a potty mouth around my closest friends but I wouldn’t dream of dropping that bomb in the bloody class WhatsApp group.😳 100% I presume there will have been many screenshots of that comment.

I’d not have reported it either but I can imagine quite a few of the mothers in my dc class would have!

Reported you to the school over something that has nothing to do wirh the school.

Removing oneself from a group will somewhat stigmatise you … better to mute for a while and then leave (if you want to), otherwise you will be stigmatised as prudish….

The sitting on his face bit might have made me raise an eyebrow but the don't say you've not all thought it thing would piss me off, I hate it when people assume all women are gagging for it and their ideal night out is a Magic Mike show.

Other mum is a dick for reporting it though.

That’s really beside the point.

I'm surprised how many responses dismiss this as nothing. Are you really saying that you would not care if your husband/partner had written the equivalent about an attractive female teacher at your child's school.

I'm no saint my language is appalling but I don't know anybody female or male who would write this in a group chat.

Why do you think he will be delighted?

Young male teachers have to put up with these women and because they’re men, they have to look like they like it.

I wouldn’t report it but I’d remove myself from this group as I wouldn’t want to be associated with these attitudes. I don’t think anything will be or can be done about it but I think it demonstrates that other people’s values might differ from your own, particularly when a group has their children and childcare professionals involved.

I'm not sure I would mind that label if the alternative is reading drunken, sexualised comments about male teachers from women I don't know well or at all. I wouldn't have reported, but I would have left.

Oh god OP I’m cringing so badly for you! The other mum WBU to report it IMO but surely you know this isn’t ok for a group chat, especially when it’s other parents and not your actual friends. I’m not easily offended at all, but I think this is the type of comment that only a minority would find appropriate. Hopefully it’ll go away and the school won’t make a big deal out of it.

Joking about sexual assault isn’t funny.

Prudish for not finding jokes about sexual assault funny? Really? Are we still peddling this nonsense?

Exactly! And men can be victims of Rape too.

Any person, man or woman can be a threat, rapist/ predator. What an embarrassing thing to post in a school related WhatsApp chat.

Ffs what’s the school going to do about it?! Just ignore op.

This is really inappropriate and disgusting. The group was full of people who you only know because their children happen to be in the same class as yours. They are not your friends, and shouldn't have to read creepy comments like that.

I felt kind of sorry for you until you posted this. So despite what's happened you have learned nothing, and continue to make suggestive remarks about this person. Punish me, Wink wink!
Your first comment was inappropriate, while you might say this to a group of friends who were also drinking with you, putting it in writing in a large group of people, some of who are only casual acquaintances and might actually know the teacher better, was inconsiderate, rude and ill advised. But you have just continued to make suggestive remarks about him here now, to an even wider audience. Have you considered some of those ppeople from the whatsapp might be on mumsnet?

I am out and proud about being a prude.