Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

The point is, as a woman you feel a lot more creeped out by someone who’s bigger, stronger (usually) and capable of raping you than you do as a man by a smaller and weaker (usually) woman who is incapable of it. Obviously doesn’t give the green light for women to make sexual comments but it’s nowhere near the same threat level.

It was completely inappropriate, as I think you’ve realised. Maybe you should put an apology on the group, owning that you went too far.

But that still doesn’t make it ok for women to say things like this though. Just because I would be more creeped out as you say, doesn’t make it ok for me to say “get him drunk and taxi him to my bedroom.”

Yep. I definitely understand leaving the group.

I don’t get why it would be reported to the school though.

This is why I refuse to join the one for my kids school lol

I came here to say exactly the same! Having said that, there’s no way I’d report it.

It'll get back to the teachers eventually and he'll be ragged and or bragging in the staff room.Do you think they don't acknowledge what they consider fit parents?!

That's just gross and not appropriate. Especially on a school Whatsapp group, you don't know those people! Weirdo.

Because someone's mother would like to sit on his face? I'd imagine he'd feel sick at the thought of it.

I agree, hence the second part of my comment.

Surely not! You don't even know all these parents 🙈 Cringing for you.

So, it was a misguided comment posted when you'd had a few drinks. It's not ideal, but telling tales to the head is unnecessary. But then some of the responses on here are also ridiculous, and completely disproportionate. Bringing the OP's kids into it, for example, is out of order.

I didn't at any point say I thought the woman should have reported OP to the school.

I simply said that in OPs position I would have reserved that comment for a chat with fewer people where I knew everyone in the group.

The other thread didn't involve any suggestion of anyone being kidnapped and bundled into a taxi. So these comments were arguably worse - still no reason to involve the school.

Highly unlikely the school would do anything. The WhatsApp group is not run by the school, so therefore they aren't going to be very interested. It's a lesson learnt, some Mum's of children in your own child's class might be genuine friends, but others are acquaintances only.

I meant there is a difference between being a prat and being scary/intimidating.
The OP was a prat.
For sure I can see why some might be uncomfortable by what she said but I doubt if many, if any, would feel threatened

You can’t harass someone when you haven’t made any contact with them.
It was a stupid comment, you know that and feel suitably embarrassed. End of. What are the school going to do? At worst a little chat.

The school won’t care, you’re a grown woman.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

It’s depressing that the highlight of people’s evenings is posting a picture of alcohol.

But this ISN'T that scenario, so what's your point? This is a group of Mum's who presumably are old enough to take a fucking joke. Instead this woman does a cats bum face and runs to the teacher. THAT is more mortifying than the original "sin". I can assure you Op, that the other Mum's and the teacher would rather spend a night out with you, instead of Mrs Clench.

Your comment is pretty creepy, I'd assume this is a general WhatsApp group, people only connected because their children are at school. He might not feel threatened but probably grossed out and disrespected. Heads up, generally nobody likes being discussed in graphic terms.

Is this teacher younger than you by any chance? Your comment really has seedy all over it. As for the don't say you've not thought it. Gross and a way of shutting down censoring you. WhatsApp groups are like any social media, don't post what you wouldn't shout across a crowded room (or playground in your case).

Wtf. People seriously need to lighten up. Imagine being such an uptight person that you need to report a comment to the school like that 😴

If it was a dad in the group chat saying he’d get a female teacher to sit on his cock, all hell would break loose.

That is pretty grim op

If it was a chat full of mumsnetters maybe.

It wasn't just misguided or saying someone was attractive, it was a gross and very crude sexual remark about a teacher on a school related chat.