AIBU being against my neighbor having a party on the same day as my DC’s?

[Mocha0202]

its my DC’s first birthday and I sent out invitations a month ago. I also invited my neighbor.
i will have a few babies over and about 12 adults.

A couple of days ago my neighbor told me she’s planning on having a party in her garden (that’s over the hedge from mine), with a big bbq and about 20-25 adults. They will be outside from the morning until the night, alcohol obviously involved.

I am concerned about the noise and the smoke overstimulating the children and basically ruining my party.
AIBU for thinking that it’s a very inconsiderate thing to do and asking her to change the date of her party?

Wow, the amount of people I see on MN who think the world revolves around them is insane. No, of course you can't ask her to change the date of her party. You change your date if it's such an issue. Other people also have days they want to celebrate. Self obsessed much?

Are your babies going to be partying past 7pm? I imagine they'll just sleep through next door's party having got tired out earlier.

@MmeChoufleur that’s hilarious 🤣

The only one being unreasonable here is YOU, OP! How dare YOU be so entitled?

Overstimulated? 😂 what are you talking about !

Who starts a party in the early morning?!

it's her garden and she should be able to have people over when she wants. The whole idea of approaching her to move the date is bonkers and make you look batshit. Definitely don't.

‘This is a mother with a less than 1 year old baby be kind everyone jesus’

Does she have protected status as the mother of a ‘less than one year old baby’ or something?!

but, what are you trying to protect your child from exactly?

No you can't ask her to change the date
The world doesn't revolve around your kid

😂😂😂😂😂 such PFB behaviour

OP I’m with you on this.
You invited the neighbour and her response was to have a party of her own!

Lol it's her garden and she can use it whenever she wants. I actually cannot believe you think it's an issue that she wants a BBQ on her own property with her own friends and family. If your that bothered about your baby being "over stimulated" by smoke etc I suggest you book a family friendly venue or find a home with no neighbours. Your being ridiculous as your neighbours have a right to crack on and have a party. If you don't like it cancel your plans.

I’m concerned that it’s such a small space and it will be super loud. That it will just not be very enjoyable to be outside.
i’m not telling her to change her life to suit me, I’m asking her to allow me to change my plans.
I’m probably too hang up on making sure everything is just perfect all the time. For example I got all the decorations 2 months ahead.

thank you everyone for replying, it just made me realise that I need to step back and chill a little, not be such a perfectionist all the time.
things don’t always have to play out exactly as I imagined and it’s ok.

No @LadyBracknellsHandbagg but being a first time parent particularly for the first year can be very stressful. I may be biased as I had crippling PND which impacted my thoughts for a long time but I just feel tearing this woman down for asking a question and being rude and calling her selfish/entitled etc just seems a bit much. You can make your point without being nasty.

Yes, thank you for noticing this.

Of course it’s unreasonable. Have your party, let them have theirs, and enjoy. No one is going to be boozing and barbecuing in the ‘early morning’

@wandawaves
Perfect First Born I think. Someone will correct me if I am wrong!

Do you not think that some of us here might have babies the same age?

I have twins who have recently turned 1. I still think OP is way OTT.

i’m not telling her to change her life to suit me, I’m asking her to allow me to change my plans.

That’s really not what your OP said.

Change yours and go to a park or something if it’s a nice day. Or a local paddling pool, farm park or something similar.

Your baby will be oblivious I promise. No you can't tell your neighbour not to have a bbq.

....alcohol obviously involved.

How very shocking.

To make it straight, I asked her to tell me what day is her party (she said Saturday or Sunday) so I can change my party.
I didn’t tell her to change her plans.

I’m sorry I see how I made it sound. You’re right.