Would this be rude or is DH right?

[Dreco]

Currently in southern Italy in a beautiful small town in the mountains. Airb&B. The locals are clearly not used to tourists but have been so incredibly kind and welcoming.
The only problem is there isn’t a whole lot to do around here without driving for hours on death trap mountain roads 😂 it’s lovely and we’ve had a few lovely days out but DH is getting tired of all the driving and his suggestion is we leave here two days early and book two nights in Naples were we can explore Naples and Pompei.
Im worried about upsetting the host here who had gone way above and beyond to try and make this stay special for us. Part of me knows he’s making sense. We fly home from Naples on Sunday so we’d already be near the airport two days in advance.

YABU - you’ll upset the host and you should make the most of where you booked
YANBU - the host will understand and you’ll get more out of the holiday

Is he thinking of asking for a refund on the unused nights?

No definitely not.

Your "host" is running a business. It's in their interests to make your stay as pleasant as possible.

If you tell them you have changed your plans and are now going somewhere else for a couple of days, they won't give it a second thought. (As long as you are paying as normal - which I hope you are?)

Who is the host? A friend or family member or do you mean an air BnB type host. If the former then yes you might appear rude, if the latter I doubt they'll care as long as you're not expecting a refund.

Honestly, as long as he does not expect a refund/expect not to pay for the unused nights then it should be fine. Just explain to the hosts that your plans have changed.

Are you planning on returning to the accommodation?

If not, then why would it matter? Although I don't understand why the host would be upset.

Just leave? Why would they even know you’ve gone.., they’ll just get the place back as planned?

Of course it's not going to upset him. He has got his money, you don't owe them any explaination at all if you want to cut the stay short.

But why does it matter if it does upset anyone? Why would you put a tiny risk of upsetting an air bnb host over your enjoyment of your holiday?

If you don't want to offend the host tell them you've had a wonderful stay, leave a nice review, tell them something has come up at home/work and you need to leave early

`it's your holiday, make the most of it. Daft to hang about there in case you upset some airbnb owner. I'm sure you won't but even if you did, it's not a big deal. Go and see Naples and don't overthink things so much.

The hosts won’t be offended, they’ll have extra time for changeover
your plan sounds sensible under the circumstances

Then I see no issue.

We don’t know the host personally, just found this house on AirB&B. We had originally booked Pompei but the host cancelled it so this was booked instead. I’m so glad we experienced this area but we are missing having stuff to do - even the churches are all closed. There are only two shops in the town, one is never open and the other one is extremely tiny only selling bare essentials. The one restaurant only opens one night a week so even to go out for a meal it’s driving on the mountain roads.

we absolutely do not expect or want any kind of refund

You are massively overthinking .

Honestly the host won't mind at all. They have their money whether you stay those nights or not. They may even appreciate the extra time for a changeover. But I wouldn't lie. There is no need to. Just tell them that you have decided to change your plans and spend a couple of days in Naples. They won't be offended in the slightest. But its your holiday so do what feels right for you.

At the end of the day, you won't even see this person ever again so try not to overthink it. Go for it!!

As long as they still get paid they won’t be offended!

Italians often give the impression of being very emotion centred, but actually they are a very pragmatic and businesslike people - they won’t mind as long as you pay them and leave a good review!

Then this is crazy levels of people pleasing op! Just go and make the most of your holiday.

As long as you pay them for the unused time it's fine, don't overthink it.
But Naples isn't that lovely, just to warn you!

Just say nicely that your plans have changed and leave them a good review. If they seem upset tell them you have friends who are unexpectedly in Naples or something. But seriously, this is a rare holiday and you are paying for the privilege.

If the host is getting paid anyway, I really don't think they'll care if you leave early. It's a business transaction for them, hurt feelings don't come into it. Go and enjoy the rest of your holiday!

On our honeymoon we changed plans and cancelled one of our stays so we could extend elsewhere. As long as you're not asking for anything from them, it'll be fine. You've simply realised that the place is calling you to visit and you're taking a chance to go no or miss it!

Pompei is amazing, we stayed there for 5 days, as well as Pompei, we went to Vesuvius & Herculaneum, they are so good! Go visit.

My god, my DH can be ridiculously concerned about other people but even he wouldn't give this another thought. You pay for the full amount, you leave a glowing review and the host will be very happy.

The Host won't care , especially if you just say how lovely everything has been but you ahve decided taht you really want to visit XYZ so will be leaving on whatever date now
And to be honest even if The Host WAS offended does it matter?

Not enjoying your holiday properly because you're worried about what your "host" (who is only welcoming you for remuneration) might think is next-level people-pleasing!

Enjoy the rest of your holiday (somewhere else) 😊

"High-functioning codependency is behavior that includes disordered boundaries, where you are overly invested in the feeling states, the decisions, the outcomes, and the circumstances of the people in your life to the detriment of your internal peace and wellbeing" There's a book by Terri Cole which might ring some bells for you OP.

Do not choose the imagined comfort of the AirBnB host who will be probably pleased to have two days less of pandering to guests, over your own holiday plans. Of course you pack and leave for Naples if that is what suits you best.