To think 'not conventionally attractive' means ugly?

[Teapotters]

I've been described as 'not conventionally attractive' at least twice in my life (probably many more times!).

Once by a partner and once by my MIL (before she was my MIL).

Neither relationship were /are negative and I don't believe either we're trying to be mean, just factual.

FWIW I do consider myself ugly, however I have some features that in isolation can be seen as attractive. The combination on my face however does not work pleasingly and I do not look at photographs of myself.

Has anybody ever said this, or thought it, about somebody in any way other than a 'polite' way to just mean ugly?

I'd take it as a compliment. To me it means striking and unusual looking in a good way x

Angelica Houston is a good example for me.. Morticia is far more magnetising than a conventional beauty. I can’t stop looking at her in those films

Yes, thats how I would take it, maybe like Aimee Lou Wood, who is really gorgeous but in a quirky way.

Glad I’m not the only one who does this! I have a colleague whose face is quite craggy and asymmetrical but she just sort of twinkles, even on Teams where everyone looks a bit shit. I find her absolutely mesmerising! Not in a sexual way (I’m straight and happily married!) but I’m much more drawn to people with that sort of look than those with a more fresh-faced prettiness.

Exactly! I have a colleague like this too. She has big eyes that are full of kindness, a large nose that’s proportionate to her face, and hair that contrasts dramatically with her skin. As you say, mesmerising for some reason.

Speaking as one who is plain old ugly and has been told so far more than twice, you have nothing to worry about.

I can only dream of being 'not conventionally attractive'.

It’s a compliment! My first thought on reading this was Kate Moss - when her career took off she wasn’t the “typical” super model but she was attractive in her own way.

I don’t this is what it means. I think it’s someone who’s quite striking, strong features and attractive for it.

No, I think it means just that.

I think it's how I look. I've been asked to model for several photo shoots designed, I'm told, to show how women can be attractive in a non-Hollywood way. I would definitely not describe myself as classically beautiful (and presumably neither would the photographers, or I'd be approached for straightforward "beautiful woman" shoots) but I think I know what they mean when they say people think I'm attractive nonetheless if you cast the net wider and women wouldn't mind looking like me. I definitely do not think I'm ugly.

Well attraction is always subjective.

You might get eg a South Asian woman whose features in isolation are attractive; but she wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive if the convention standard are western features.

I've always thought it means attractive, but not in a mainstream/common way. Take it as a double complement.

I am always being told this..
I am confident with how I look, no pressure to conform to social norms. I do eat a good diet, exercise look after my skin and enjoy edgy clothes.
In a pub yesterday a woman (out of the blue) said “ for a woman who is not very attractive I don’t know why everyone thinks you are stunning”. I guess there was a compliment in there somewhere 😂
Enjoy being you. Who wants to look like everyone else?

I am always being told this..
I am confident with how I look, no pressure to conform to social norms. I do eat a good diet, exercise look after my skin and enjoy edgy clothes.
In a pub yesterday a woman (out of the blue) said “ for a woman who is not very attractive I don’t know why everyone thinks you are stunning”. I guess there was a compliment in there somewhere 😂
Enjoy being you. Who wants to look like everyone else?

Adrien Brody.

Not at all, I’d say Adam Driver isn’t conventionally attractive but I think he’s gorgeous! Compared to some like Chris Hemsworth who could be described as so.

@JillMW- that was so rude! And equally a compliment. Brazen!

Yes! Sometimes I just have to smile and wave 😂