To think 'not conventionally attractive' means ugly?

[Teapotters]

I've been described as 'not conventionally attractive' at least twice in my life (probably many more times!).

Once by a partner and once by my MIL (before she was my MIL).

Neither relationship were /are negative and I don't believe either we're trying to be mean, just factual.

FWIW I do consider myself ugly, however I have some features that in isolation can be seen as attractive. The combination on my face however does not work pleasingly and I do not look at photographs of myself.

Has anybody ever said this, or thought it, about somebody in any way other than a 'polite' way to just mean ugly?

Yes I’ve heard that quite a few women fancy him but it doesn’t negate the fact that he’s very ugly. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him acting in anything, maybe that’s when he has appeal.

No I wouldn’t say so. I think it means for example someone who’s quite striking but not in a “film star” way, so maybe their facial features aren’t classically beautiful but they have lovely eyes or hair something. Like I would describe Tilda Swinton as not conventionally attractive, because she’s striking but not Disney princess kind of pretty

My friend at school could have been described that way - the fellas were attracted like a magnet, she had a sort of French/Italian allure and always tanned well so looked exotic rather than blonde and bubbly or pin-up girl pretty, she wasn't even busty but was very slim, not tall and willowy just average and slim framed (she was adopted, so no idea of actual heritage). We lesser, more conventional girls, hung about with her in the hope of getting to know her rejects 😜

I understand why you'd feel funny being told that, but I do use this term for beautiful people who are not the BORING beautiful type. Think how high fashion houses choose models who look unique and interestingly beautiful, rather than picking a boringly Hollywood type pretty person. Think Anya Taylor-Joy, instead of Farrah Fawcett! 😊

It doesn't mean ugly, it means recognisable. Something which can be very attractive for some and too off the mainstream for others.

Well I would say :

Conventionally attractive : Most if not all people would find them attractive.
Non conventionally attractive : Some people find them attractive but some don't.
Ugly. Most people will find them unattractive with only a small few finding them attractive.

I certainly have a thing where I see someone occassionally, I know a lot of other people wouldn't find them that attractive but to me they look amazing and I suspect that is the same for most people and what does it for them varies from person to person.

No, it doesn't mean you are ugly. I think not conventionally attractive people can be more attractive and striking than conventionally attractive people.

Benedict Cumberbatch. In no way conventionally attractive - his eyes are too close together for one thing.... But I think he's GORGEOUS! It's not a bad thing at all.

No, it doesn't mean ugly at all ! Not conventionally attractive means someone who IS attractive but not in a conventional way. Take Audrey Tautou, Jennifer Aniston, Sarah Jessica Parker or Aimee Lou Wood who are attractive but not in a conventional way.

I don't think it means ugly. However, I'm not convinced it is exactly a compliment either eventhough the person saying it might have intended it as that.

Yeah I wouldn't see that as a negative at all. To me it means someone is very attractive but not in the stereotypical way you might expect.

Watch an interview of him. He has an incredible back story and is a startlingly intelligent guy. I saw one with Ali Plumb. Plus he is incredible shape. A great example of not conventionally attractive - far more than a pretty face.

I would be extremely offended if someone said I was not conventionally attractive. Who the fuck says that to their partner or daughter in law? Why does anyone need to say this? Nasty and rude. They ARE saying you're not attractive. Maybe not 'ugly' but not attractive. I'd love to see what THEY look like!

Was the mother in law who said it, the mother of the partner who said it @Teapotters ?

It’s definitely a compliment. Imo it means that you are attractive but there is no anything stereotypical (say Barbie like ) about your features. It also implies personality and originality for me.

That’s exactly who I was thinking of. Or Tilda Swinton or Gwendolen Christie. I agree with app that ‘not conventionally attractive’ carries with it an implicit ‘but is nonetheless attractive’.

No. 'Not conventionally attractive' to me means 'Attractive, albeit not conforming to usual standards of attractiveness'.

So in today's society someone 'conventionally attractive' might be tall, long hair, slim, delicate features, dress in a traditionally attractive way etc etc etc. But there are plenty of women who are shorter, larger, or have a skinhead or tattoos and wear pvc and bovver boots and large features who are also attractive-just not in a ballpark sort of way.

Ugly means ugly.

It doesn’t mean ugly at all. It means striking, attractive, worth a second glance but not the traditional blonde hair blue eyes type of prettiness.

Queen Elizabeth I was described as 'comely', which I'd say is much the same thing.

Think Billie Piper, Jennifer Garner or perhaps Nicola Walker or Vicky McClure

'Not attractive' would mean 'ugly'. 'Not conventionally attractive' means 'attractive but in a non-conventional way'. People can be attractive, striking, sexy, charismatic etc without conforming to the usual notions of what's pretty.

For example, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Paul Newman and Henry Cavill are/were 'conventionally attractive' men. They are objectively handsome with even features and proportions. You wouldn't have to fancy them to agree that, objectively, they meet the definition of being good-looking. But Adrien Brody, Benedict Cumberbatch, Alan Rickman and Jeff Goldblum are all in the 'not conventionally attractive' bracket. They don't have perfectly proportioned, flawless features, but millions of women fancy them because there's something interesting, striking or charismatic about them and their faces.

Similarly, Angelina Jolie, Margot Robbie, Marilyn Monroe and Jennifer Lopez are 'conventionally attractive' women. Shelley Duvall, Bette Davis, Grace Jones and Angelica Houston are 'not conventionally attractive'.

I'd say Anya Taylor Joy is not conventionally attractive, in that her features aren't placed in a perfectly doll like way. But she is very attractive none the less.

You're saying all of these are not conventionally attractive? Really?!

Jennifer and Vicky for starters are both stunning! Billie is pretty too. Nicola Walker maybe not quite so 'conventionally attractive.' Disagree about the other 3 though.

I always thought it meant unusual looking but hot. I don't think I'd want to spend time with people though who were randomly (in private or public) calling people ugly, wtf.

This

They are all stunning, just not in the nails extensions and eyelashes standers of beauty that the media presents