To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

The over zealous and vehement support to benefit fraudsters is a trend on here.

If a fizzy drink passes your child’s lips, your classed as the devils spawn on MN. Neighbour, relative, ‘friend’ is stealing benefits and it’s no biggie - fraud schmaud….

Points to the defenders being at it themselves.

Yeah I know that's why I said it was a side note sorry if I'm derailing just wanted to say half the time people have their panties in a twist over "fraud" they don't even know the full situation. I had an unhinged woman attempt to make my life a misery because she though I was committing fraud just for dating a man? And honestly I wouldn't of minded if it was just a report to the authorities but it was going around gossiping about me to mutual acquaintances too! Anyway sorry for the derail

It's sad that so many people are utterly dependent on benefits to survive instead of getting a job or cutting their cloth appropriately. This whole thread is depressing with so many people defending benefit fraud.

I can see how she got in this position- especially if he is contributing little- the really stupid thing though is moving someone in , getting pregnant by them and thinking that doesn’t constitute a ‘household’. - it certainly would in most people’s eyes and the DWPs eyes. Otherwise why wouldn’t all non married women living with partners and with kids just go around claiming as if single ? There has to be a line drawn somewhere

I swear a woman, particularly a single mother, could commit open murder in the street and some people on this site will defend her. (Ok, an bit of an exaggeration but still.)
The sister got addicted to drugs, banged a married man, decided to move in with him, and knowingly committed fraud for years. My guess is she's never worked so if she is financially dependent it's her own damn fault. This is the consequences of her own bad choices.

OP clarified upthread. The benefit is means tested. There really is no excuse, and it’s unfortunate that her record will reflect fraud because, as you say, it will make it even more difficult for her to find a job.

The sister is on disability benefits and unable to work.

On the other hand, If you have the audacity to take responsibility for your choices, work your backside off, pay for you and yours, earn some money but complain that your above average salary is a squeeze, watch these zealots pile on and accuse you of not reading the room, being insensitive, being reckless with your finances, being whiny.

I wonder these people set their kids this example. Make bad choices and get a pat on the back. Take responsibility and get kicked.

The post also overlooks that millions of people who work have to claim top up benefits because wealthy companies feel it’s their right to pay crap wages and have the tax payer top it up.

And the fact that the sister is pregnant means - lien it or not - their finances are now linked for the next 18 years or so

I'd report anyone if I knew for certain. Far too many benefit cheats subsidised by those of us who have worked and paid taxes all our lives.

Or is she lying about that also? I'm not knocking people on benefits, and I'm definitely not looking down on people who have had drug issues as I myself have dealt with that in the past. But because of my past issues I've also been around my fair share of people similar to the sister and they will lie and justify their behavior to get what they want. I might be wrong, but I'm very suspicious.

In the world where the tax payer is paying the same amount after he moved in as they did before he moved in. He only moved in because she wasn't going to declare it. Most people would have taken care to not stay with the sister every night so that it doesn't need to be declared that would be the only difference.

And how in the hell do you know that? She may well be experiencing financial abuse or coercive control. It's not exactly uncommon!

Obviously if it’s that bad what she’s doing (I cant work out how much better off she is then if she was being honest) he should report her, but that’s not the point. I doubt he’s done it for the moral good and the poor old tax payer, he’s done it because he doesn’t like her and he doesn’t respect your relationship with her. He’d better hope none of his lot ever do any wrong and reportable because you’ll be obligated to report them, so that you can sleep at night.

I do think he should move to his son's, though. Visit a few times a week. She keeps paying her mortgage as she is without him having any claim to her & her kids' home. He should not have moved in if he was not going to contribute. Now she's in a shit position because of dickhead 1 and dickhead 2, neither of whom appear to have given any thought to the position they are putting her in. She's claiming what she would if he wasn't there, and that's what she's getting as he isn't actually contributing. He should bloody well move out. She won't be worse off! But he won't, will he?

2 posts by the OP and 10 pages in. That was some hand grenade that OP, bravo.

Team sister.
I was either reported or rewieved as many lately, the decision was made that I was not eligible for benefits while I was abroad. They never asked what happened and what my circumstances are, just decided to demand back all the money for when I was not in the country. So I did MR and added an explanation nicely telling them off as I was fullfiling all and more of what they requested. I'm waiting for a decision now, but I declared everything. They should know people have different circumstances. Not even mentioning that of course they are calculating my benefits and all other possible allowances (nhs prescriptions or dental treatments, bus fare, council tax - which I am not entitled to any) according to my husband's full salary and because he is supporting his family abroad, we actually get in only half of what he earns. So I am not entitled for anything extra and I'm actually struggling, but not according to my husband's salary. I wish there would be some grey hole where you'd be able to get some additional help.

Given the context, I would have never reported family.
If she was selling drugs, exploiting or hurting people, or perhaps if she was a millionaire, it would be different, in my eyes.

But she has a child and she is paying a mortgage (I am a bit confused about that though, if she was bought a house at 18 why is she paying a mortgage?)

But anyway, if the thing comes out there is a chance she will cut you off. I think family relations are precious, in the world we live in.

Well yes, a shit ton of exaggeration here, seeing as they've only been together a few months.

You say you think your DH is wrong to report your sister for benefit fraud, yet you don't say you think your sister is wrong to commit benefits fraud. Tell her to stop claiming.

Your sister could end up in prison.

Her kids would be the biggest losers.

OP would you be taking her children in to live with you?

It sounds like the bloke won't?

Honestly. I would leave.
no one thinks cheating is ok. It’s a lifeline not a lifestyle
BUT
benefit cheats especially ones with a life of trauma behind are the tip of the iceberg- the real issue is self employed assholes putting every damm thing through as expenses. And of course the non-Doms and the tax evasion of the billionaires.
Maybe your husband is squeaky squeaky clean. I hope so. But if he isn’t then I sincerely hope Karma gets him.

An old neighbour of mine boasted about reporting another neighbour for benefit fraud (a single mum who was taking in ironing )
I found out the reporter was lying about where she lived to get her kid in a certain school, which worked. I reported and kid got expelled.
I laughed loudly. Utter witch had it coming.

What a sly little man he is.

So criminals shouldn't go to prison if they have children?
Would you be happy with a murderer or rapist, or scammer was walking the streets because you wouldn't with prison on your worst enemy?
How very Libertarian of you.
Let's close the prisons now
Or does your atittude only apply to your sister?