To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

Of course he should. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

I am wondering how HE would have taken it if she had report any of his family members…

there is more to this story I think!

Just so I’m clear, which crimes are we ignoring in case they hamper job prospects?

Fraud seems okay, how about sexual assault? Burglary? GBH? Murder? I imagine most of those would impact job prospects (and cost the tax payer for a trial and maybe imprisonment!), so am I best not to report them?

It seems to be working out OK for the US president. Multiple sexual assaults and fraud.

The taxpayer isn't paying more than they would have been if he hadn't moved in though. They just aren't making a saving and if forced to declare he's just going to move out.

Nothing will happen anyway…. My partners ex has been claiming child benefit fraudulently for 3/4 years. There’s plenty of evidence that proves they live with us full time. They’ve stopped paying it to her now and pay it to me, but there’s no desire to claim back what’s being handed out - thousands. It’s an absolute shit show to be honest.

It seems wrong of him to do this to a family member that you are so close to and has had a difficult life and is raising a small child. Im not sure I could forgive him. I'd have had a discussion with her but not this. If your sister and partner go to prison, will he be volunteering to raise your neice? Do you think he is jealous of your relationship with your sister?

Side note by why are people's minds blown by "benefit fraud" every time a woman starts dating a man and doesn't immediately include him in her financial situation?
Just something I've noticed, I mean how inconvenient to be expected to adjust your entire financial situation just for the relationship to not work out then having to apply for benefits again which takes a month with universal credit.

I mean it's different in your sister's situation because they're about to have a child together

Of course they are. If OP is claiming means tested benefits, then for however long he’s been there his presence has rendered OP ineligible for the level of benefit she’s claiming as a single person. Had she declared a change of circumstances from the start, the benefit would have been reduced or stopped accordingly. Not to mention any housing and council tax benefits she may be claiming on top.

Then date him, but don’t move him in. Fraud is fraud.

Maybe she should claim PIP and declare that her partner lives with her, instead of defrauding the system. If she is genuinely unable to work due to her health, she’s possibly eligible for PIP

People on MN seem very au fait with benefit fraud. Someone should look into their bank accounts.

The partner won’t go to prison - he’s not the one claiming benefit. And it’s unlikely DSIS would go to prison. There would be a fine, she would be required to pay back the overpayment, and benefit would be suspended.

What on earth are you talking about !!

PIP isn’t an out of work benefit - it’s a disability benefit designed as a contribution to the extra cost of living with a disability. It’s a difficult benefit to claim. It doesn’t assess for the inability to work, it looks at how well or otherwise your condition is managed. And it’s not enough to live on.

I had an old hag accuse me of "fraud" for daring to have a boyfriend while claiming benefits. Like I said it's a side note because the ops situation is different but too many people up in others business making assumptions

What is so difficult to understand?

There is a difference between paying extra and just not paying less. Obviously there would have been a saving for the taxpayer if he had moved in and the sister had declared it but that clearly would never have happened. No one in their right minds would want to pay for their living costs of a woman they had only recently met and an 8 year old child that wasn't their so if she said she had to declare it he just wouldn't have moved in.

Why would you assume that those supporting DSIS are fraudsters themselves ? I don’t condone the fraud, but l can certainly see how she has found herself in this situation.

Someone on MN told me I should be declaring my relationship to the DWP (we don't live together but they said he should still be financially supporting me), and that I was somehow breaking the rules because I was refusing to move him so I could "stay on benefits" (if we lived together, they would stop totally). Oh, and how we were both contributing to the housing crisis and making mums stay in B&Bs with babies because we don't live together. Neither of us are in social housing.

All of this is irrelevant. He did move in. OP didn’t declare it and she’s been overpaid benefit as a result of a fraudulent claim. In what world does that not cost the tax payer ?

I think both your sister and your husband are as bad as each other. As for people who commit benefit fraud, yes, they’re basically stealing from us but so is the state with these atrocious taxes and the way in which they’re being spent, and the latter angers me more.

This. I am pleased too, no time for people committing benefit fraud. Well done to your DH.

The people who think the husband is wrong, are you the type of people that say "nobody likes a grass" and "snitches get stitches" and suchlike? Or is benefit fraud a different kettle of fish from "proper crime"?

But there are no assumptions here. OP has given us the facts.