To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

I wouldn't want to be married go someone who felt people were justified and it was totally OK to defraud the benefits system because 'reasons'...
Scuzzy wastes of space!

@WildflowerConstellations I agree she's the only one who loses here, but she had a choice before she allowed him to move in by telling him, "Of course, I'll have to do a benefits calculation to see how you living here with your income would affect my benefits and anything I lose you'll have to make up." Unfortunately, she didn't, but if she had, he might never have moved in with her (or she might not have let him).

Payment for fraudulently keeping his address there? So it's not linked to the sister. OP pretty much says as much.

Absolutely did the right thing - anyone who thinks otherwise is colluding.
I mean, let's all commit benefit fraud eh ?

I think I’d have given an ultimatum to sister: comd clean and say he is now living with me + income by x date or I’ll tell them myself. I think it’s a bit off that hd didn’t do this first before reporting. But ultimately, thd authorities have to know, you can’t collude.

But what good does that do him? If he's paying £1500 a month for the address his son lives at, and has everything registered there, it sounds to me more like that is his address, which he pays for, and he is just staying at the sister's every night and not contributing to the rent. I'm not even sure there is any fraud, put like that. He's sleeping with her, but he's not part of the household. He has his own household.

Fair play to DH, I would have probably done the same. Better she is pulled up now than later when she would have to find even more money to pay back.

Yes I do pay tax. If the cost to the tax payer is the concern it's going to cost a lot more if the worst does happen and the state has to fund foster care for the child, rehab for the sister and then housing costs when the sister goes on to rent because she has lost her home.

Honestly reporting her might be doing her a favour. She'll get caught out sooner or later and the sooner it is the less money she'll owe in overpayments.

Oh the ones who say this is fiiine, she's totally entitled to be a thief....
They'll be the same ones with multiple kids, who keep having them in order to push back the date when they may have to take on personal responsibility for themselves and their children. Shrieking 'IM ENTITLED !!' YOURE CAUSING CHILDREN TO STAAAAARVVE!" When the kids are off school and there's any parental expectation to look after your own kids!

But that is the choice she has made.

I have a moral code which would prevent me defrauding anyone. I would also be terrified of prison and of what that would do to my kids..

So I work hard, spend little and make good choices.

So noble of your husband to report her. I hear pregnant women in prison do oh so well and her 7yo will love visiting mummy at HMP Holloway every other weekend. This absolutely wasn’t something you could have had a chat with her to her face in person before he reported her. Any disabled and vulnerable woman can’t possibly have made an error and is definitely a hardened chancer conning the government.

Oh god she's hardly working on the sly. They make it so unfair when you have a partner, even if you have separate money. You and your DH sound jealous and bitter. He's a massive dick for reporting her. What an arsehole.

I'm absolutely disgusted by the number of people that wouldn't report their family member.
So you'd all be fine if you knew your family member was committing credit card fraud or was a pickpocket or was a burglar and sold on what they stole would you? Because it's all theft. Vile people to keep it quiet.
I reported my own daughter for benefit fraud because she was illegally claiming what she shouldn't have been.

That will be proved or not by the surveillance the benefits fraud team carry out (and if required in court APNR on his vehicle and mobile phone records).

The cynic in me suspects it’s a having his cake and eat it situation. He has some vested interest in that property (and he’s paying/contributing towards it) , maybe he’s lying and just putting it all/most in savings, while living with OP’s sister in her house, on her money , being looked after and playing happy families, while having a plan B if/when things go tits up.

People have repeatedly stated that they don't agree with committing benefit fraud BUT that they would also not be okay with their husband taking it upon himself to report his sister-in-law without even running it past the wife first. I'm one such person, btw.

How that translates to being 'fine' with someone committing credit card fraud, I don't know. One can disagree with person B's actions without agreeing with/being 'fine' with person A's actions. It's a bit more nuanced than that.

I'm absolutely disgusted by the number of people that wouldn't report their family member.

And yet the huge voices regarding immigrants cost the UK a fortune in benefits …better look closer to home!

Well, sure. When I met my husband he was claiming some benefit top-up while working. As soon as I moved in I reminded him to declare my income and he ended his benefit claim straight away. But if I'd been an utter bastard and perhaps he was younger than me, seemingly disabled or ill, pregnant (ok I get my husband wouldn't be pregnant) and potentially vulnerable maybe I'd have manipulated that situation to benefit myself and tell him to keep claiming. It might be that there is 0 financial abuse here, and for some reason she just decided this was a brilliant idea, but unless you're there you never know what's really going on and I don't think reporting it gives him the moral high ground. There are bigger baddies out there than OP's sister.

And presumably the OP's sister would lose money if he lived with her officially. So, there's incentive for both of them for his address to be elsewhere.

I think the difference is that she is in a materially similar financial position to what she'd be in if he didn't live there as he's not actually helping any more than he might do if he actually lived with his son.

I agree with your husband. A friend who’s been claiming benefits for years has recently moved in with her partner. I was shocked that she’s claiming he’s her landlord, getting housing benefit and keeping it as spending money along with her PIP and UC.

OP says She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time.

His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank

Love the sarcastic inverted commas about the blokes family- as if they aren't his real family.

People don’t ’choose to be addicts’ , there is a myriad of reasons behind this happening often coming from childhood trauma. Also benefit fraud, whilst I don’t agree with it, it is not comparable to child abuse of any sort.

Unfortunately, that is not how welfare benefit legislation or DWP regulations treat it. He is living with OP's DSis full-time, therefore he is part of her household and his income must be taken into account for the purposes of claiming and calculating benefits.