To think that maybe people should be a little more thoughtful before posting hurtful comments about children with special needs/disabilities.

[wrinklytum]

Grr.

Had a bad day and maybe a little oversensitive.

First and foremost,they are children.

And they are loved.

I know Fio It is a deeply upsetting read, that aspect of the thread. I think the ease with which you are able to blart out whatever comes into your head, and the assumption that it's your inassailable right to say it, is a big downside of the internet sometimes.

to the abortion thread, I am

I am also at the comment re not being able to cope with a family of four staying when one has ADHD.

Why?? May I ask?

YANBU
well you know I will say that. I have been disgusted by what a couple of posters have written on that thread.
I have not reported the posts as I think they should stay. people need to see tha kind of things these people think.
and would one of the posters have apologised if everyone had agreed with her I doubt it very much.

I actaually think the posts should stay also, as they are often widly accpeted views.

These views should be countered by argument, a display of the hurt outrage and upst they can cause and through this process they become unaccpetable views to hold.

i don't think the solution is to suppress these views and pretend they don't exist.

let's not pretend they are uncommon and that many acknowledge that many poeple feel they are caring reasonable poeple and have this view.

it's needs to be challenged not censored.

sadly the second poster still stands by her comments. I am appalled and very angry but wtf can you do. if you report to mn they will let it stand. and really said poster should be kicked of mn.

The fact that abortion is generally seen as acceoptable and understandable for babies with a disability makes this view (which takes the logic one step further)generally acceptable.

It is a discussion which will go on.

I completely agree with Lavenders.

MN has challenged directly (and indirectly via lurking) loads of rather odd and misinformed attitudes I had prior to finding this site.

Most people will have no, or very minimal contact with children (or indeed adults) with serious disabilities so, although I realise it must be very painful to read such posts, it is important that you guys keep chipping away at these attitudes.

but you have to take in to account that parents of dc's with sn face these battles every day to then come on her and read these comments is just the last straw.
I can't fight every battle and do pick mine. but when someone is talking about murdering children because the have a disability i get bloody angry.

I'm not suprised (that you get bloody angry). As you say you can pick your battles on here (or use the hide thread or off button).

If you are going to change attitudes though, then you have to let threads (and offensive comments) lie, and then counter them with your own personal experiences and opinions.

Don't forget the possibly countless lurkers on contraversial threads who will have light bulb moments after a particularly powerful and personal post.

My sister had a termination at 23 weeks as the baby had half of it's brain missing and would have just fitted after birth until it died - no quality of life and although I am against abortion I stood by her and watched her go through hell.

She then had to deliver a fully formed baby and it was bloody heartwrenching.

She couldn't have coped with going through the rest of her pregnancy and then watching the baby die because it was so severely disabled and I challenge any of you to come up with an arguement as to why she should have just to pacify people with disabled children who feel that their child gives them the right to judge others.

YA definitely NBU.

Haven't read that thread just the quote above. The reason it's not been removed is that it's an opinion shared by many. Including myself as it happens, but it would still be a valid opinion even if it wasn't mine. The world is full of people who disagree with me and I am used to it.

Perhaps there should be a seperate forun for those who cannot bear to face different opinions. Though you'd have to have one each then wouldn't you and it would be lonely.

Actually to say no quality of life is an understatement - it's life would have consisted of maybe a few minutes up to a few hours of grand mal fits until its little body couldn't take it anymore!

Twinkie - your poor sister. What a horrible thing to happen. Whatever the arguments, this must have been an awful thing to experience.

I no longer speak to my sister in law (slagfacedbuddah) as she said my DSshould have been put down at birth, he has SN.

If she had said it to my face (not over the phone) I would have put her in flipping hospital, yes my child has a condition but her 15 year old daughter sleeps with anything that moves and I know which child I find more discusting.

I think it must be very hard, if you're caring for children with sn, to hear people talking about them in what seems like a casual manner.

But I think it's important for MN to be a place where all opinions are respected, otherwise it stops being somewhere people can come for discussion and support, and starts being a pressure group.

p.s. I don't mean people shouldn't be challenged on their opinions - but they should be allowed to hold them, iyswim.

??????????????????

Twinkie - there is a big difference between deformities which are incompatible with life, such as your sister's baby, and the kind of disabilities/SN which people here are talking about.

why do you have to respect all opinions?

Some people hold some bizarre and unpalatable opinions (to me) I see no reason why I have to respect them.

This all makes me feel so sad.

I always said I would have my son if he had have turned out to have had Edward's Syndrome as I would rather have had him for a short time than not at all. Does that make me selfish for wanting him, or a coward for not having a termination?