Is this weird parenting?

[JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen]

I have one dd who is a young teenager and who hasn’t yet hit puberty. I have been thinking that when she starts her period, I might buy her a small piece of jewellery to give her, to mark her transition to womanhood. And take her mind off the fact that she’ll have hormonal shit going on for the next forty years or so.

something like this: https://www.johnlewis.com/auree-hampton-gold-vermeil-pendant-necklace/gold-ruby/p111668104

Am I being weird? Or is this a nice thing to do?

This 100 per cent! Sums it up brilliantly!!

No, that would be a total cringefest. Just leave it be.

I get that people want to make the first period feel special, but a necklace shaped like a drop of blood? That’s a bit much. While it’s important to mark milestones, this feels like an over-the-top way of making something that’s totally normal into some sort of “event.”

a period is a personal experience, and it can mean different things to different people. Some might feel empowered, some might feel awkward, and others might just feel like it’s part of growing up. A necklace shaped like a drop of blood isn’t really something most teenagers would want to wear as a reminder. It’s like turning something natural into a weird keepsake, which just seems unnecessary.

Seems way over the top.

I think It’sa lovely idea

I was brought up with completely normal attitudes to periods and it was never taboo or anything. But it was never something I discussed with my mum beyond starting my first period, certainly not something I would have wanted to bond over. Felt much happier discussing periods with friends than parents.

I’d have loved a drop of blood necklace. A menstrual necklace would have been just my bag. But then I grew up in the 90s listening to Tori Amos and reading feminist theory and was very into body positivity. It’s sad to see that times seem to have gone backwards and so many women posting on MN seem to regard periods as so embarrassing to be acknowledged or spoken about.

Ugh. No. That’s just weird and creepy.

It isn’t anti-female. Quite the opposite.

I personally think it’s incredibly reductive to be told we should celebrate our reproductive body parts. We’re human beings, not a fucking womb on legs. Why is it any more special than any other bodily process? I think rewarding girls for reaching specific physical signs of sexual maturity - which is what puberty is - is really fucking grim. We don’t define boys in that way.

For people saying ‘It’s no different from a bat mitzvah or a quinceañera’ - yes, it is massively different. Those are celebrations of reaching a specific age - like an 18th, 21st, 40th or whatever. They aren’t celebrating a specific and personal change to a child’s body.

My family has always been really open about periods - no shame or embarrassment whatsoever. Even my grandparents, who were born in the 1910s, weren’t at all uptight about that kind of thing. So my view on this is really not about stigma.

It’s not embarrassing it’s bizarre. I don’t understand why anyone would want the by-product of a bodily function crafted into a piece of jewellery. What will it be next? Bogey earrings? First poo pendant?

Quite weird and the necklace itself looke like a drop of blood so extra weird.

Ah yes, your mum buying you a piece of jewellery as a positive celebration of an event in your life is JUST the same as saying you’re a “fucking womb on legs”. 🙄 You’re the one saying menstruation is all about sexual maturity - maybe you need to reexamine your own essentialist assumptions!

Recognising that being female is having a female body and female experiences is not reductive — unless it’s you who reduce it to “sexual maturity” and bring a “womb on legs”. We all have bodies and still manage to have minds. How about it being a recognition of a girl’s feelings about her own changing body and identity? Why should this reduce her to her body, any more than someone buying a new mum a present to celebrate the fact she’s had a baby reduces her to “a womb on legs” either? It’s a very silly argument. Is giving birthday presents reducing someone to their age?

Wouldn't do it as a mother, wouldn't like it as a daughter. My first period came with cramps, I do remember that because yes, it does mark our transition into womanhood. But it was painful. Every month from beginning to end. I dealt with it, but I don't see it as something that should be celebrated.

I think it's very sweet you've thought about it. You seem like a lovely mum. I feel like alot of girls don't like a big fuss over it though. I remember my mum being very OTT with the whole your a woman now spiel and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up anytime she said it.

Weird. Just weird and quite disturbing tbh

I like rhe idea of a gift. The reddish pink is a bit weird like a blob of period :((
Maybe a shopping trip together and choose something together and make a mither and daughter memory with a piece of jewelry to remember the day together and take her mind off it all, thats a nice idea. But I think being presented with the period necklace is bizarre.

I think is strange too. As someone said maybe some treats like chocolates as you fo get hungry and craves sweets with your period, hot water bottle. I did not make a fuss, it is just one of those things you have to deal with in life as a woman.

I'd be mortified if my mum had done this, sorry

I probably would have hate to receive a present like that on that day. Very weird indeed.

Confirm this as an Asian. It is a lovely gesture if the girls are ok with it. Biology does not define women but what are women without biology? The attitude to menstruation as something shameful or dirty needs to die.

It's a nice idea, awful necklace though! It looks like something you would pay £2.99 for on the market.

A young teenager's first period is not a transition to womanhood save in the eyes of perverts who think periods mean you're now a grown up and fair game for sex because your body can make a baby. Has a 10 year old transitioned to womanhood when she's had her first period? Not in my opinion. She's just a bloody unlucky child. Using a first period as a marker to womanhood is inappropriate in a modern society.

In answer to your question, yes, weird parenting. More appropriate would be ways to cope, a little kindness for pmt moments and a never run out supply of her choice of period product.

Weird and making a big deal out of something which is a completely normal part of life for women.

I bought my daughter the "my period" book by Milli Hill, it's amazing for period positivity.

I had bought her a moon necklace, and she was genuinely pleased and showed it off to her grandparents when they next came up. The book had also said that celebrating or marking it is a nice thing to do, so she actually had some expectation that we would (and of course we duly did!!)

I think it's really nice, it's a big part of her life and we've spent so many years being taught that periods are shameful, I was really pleased that she was comfortable and wanted to mark it starting.

I think it’s nice that you want to buy her something to mark that she’s growing into a women, but personally I don’t think that needs to be the start of periods. Perhaps give her some chocolate and a hot water bottle and save the necklace for a special treat later-if you’re going somewhere nice for example.