Is this weird parenting?

[JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen]

I have one dd who is a young teenager and who hasn’t yet hit puberty. I have been thinking that when she starts her period, I might buy her a small piece of jewellery to give her, to mark her transition to womanhood. And take her mind off the fact that she’ll have hormonal shit going on for the next forty years or so.

something like this: https://www.johnlewis.com/auree-hampton-gold-vermeil-pendant-necklace/gold-ruby/p111668104

Am I being weird? Or is this a nice thing to do?

This is just weird!

I think it’s bizarre you’d buy her jewellery but aren’t actively involved in educating her about her body (she knows from her friends; her sport are educating them on cycle and potential injuries through phases etc). A better gift is if you explain her how to put a tampon, educate her on all sanitary products so she’s aware, have a small bag ready with spare undies, sanitary products etc.

Weird

Are you Asian? Are you Hindu in particular? This is a pretty big custom in countries like Sri lanka, India etc. There is a big fuss made over the girl and almost a mini wedding. So yes, a necklace is fine.

God forbid women and girls’ lives, or normal bodily functions, be celebrated or marked without the appearance of Puritan suggestions of “making a fuss”, not “keeping things in perspective”, or “overreacting”.

Truly, women and girls still must take up small spaces of exactly the appropriate proportion and “perspective” in society. God forbid they ever celebrate themselves, buy their daughters jewellery, or in any way look like they are making some kind of importance for themselves or female experience. Make sure, girls, that the lesson of getting your period is that the appropriate way of responding is to hate it yet not mention it for fear that you be thought “weird”, embarrassing, cringey, mortifying, sexual, not sexual, a woman, not a woman, making a fuss, having to endure “mummy” making a fuss, telling anyone, or anything at all that might suggest that you have any feelings about it at all apart from grim stoicism, embarrassment and the luxury of eating a chocolate bar.

Truly an emergence into traditional “womanhood” if there ever was one. 🙄

Please don’t teach your daughters to use toxic tampons!!!!

I started my periods when I was 13 and I'd walked home from school for lunch. My mum was home and heard my yell of surprise and fear at blood in my pants (before I quickly realised what it was!)

When I came home at 4pm, both my grandmothers rang me to congratulate me on becoming a woman. It was a bit embarrassing that my mum had clearly runv them to tell them but also felt like I'd joined a secret society or something. It felt historic and female and adult. I'm in my 50s now but remember it very clearly.

I think Western? Christian? women do suffer from a lack of rituals and recognition of the power of womanhood. I loved the comment about Hindu rituals.

OP, celebrating this moment in your child's life journey is a good thing. You know your child best so I'm sure what you choose to do will be perfect.

This is a lovely idea! It’s the done thing in Asian families as a celebration - girls receive gold jewellery. Some families do other things like have a party etc but the jewellery gifting is usually always done

I don’t think it’s weird at all. Sounds lovely.

It's weird just as bad as them period parties some parents do.🙄🙄🙄

Fuck no! If I hadn't have been so unfortunate to have "started" at age 11 on holiday in France I don't think I would EVER have told my parents.....YABU.....cringe!

Mine appeared the first day of end of year exams. I needed chocolate and paracetamol!
I'm not sure a necklace with a red stone would have done it for me. Could you take her for a nice mum-daughter lunch or something? If you really need to mark the occasion. Your daughter might just want it to happen and you not make a fuss.

100% weird, she may not want to treasure it, or wear it.

Buy her it just because you are thinking of her. Much more meaningful.

why sexually appealing to MEN especially? You have something against lesbian too now?

Ha ha this

Why is everyone saying this is weird? This is a lovely idea OP! I got a beautiful necklace from my husband after I squeezed our son out of my vagina so why should your DD not get something for blood, pain and hormones? I wish I had a daughter now so I could do this. My mum was very nice about it and got me a hot water bottle and rubbed my back and put me together a little period purse of pads and tampons for my school bag. But a necklace to mark my passage into womanhood? I would have really loved that. Really nice thought OP. Go for it! She can always just not wear it if she’s embarrassed right now, but come 21 or maybe 31 she will look back and think what a lovely gift that was and be proud to wear it.

I’ve never heard of this before, but I think it’s nice.

Jewellery to mark occasions is certainly something I feel incredibly sentimental about. My Nana and I bonded a great deal over her entrusting me with jewellery from various relatives. My FIL also entrusted me with some very precious jewellery of my late MIL’s, which I am keeping safe for my DD.

My DH bought me an eternity ring to mark our DD’s birth. It had the same stones as her name in. She is only 3, but we have hugely bonded over the significance of this ring. She loves looking at it and discussing it with me, and knows it will be hers one day. That is expressly stated in my will and is of utmost importance.

So I like your idea and linking it with a necklace 😊

Oooh and introduce her to Mooncups as soon as she has got to grips with her period. I only discovered them aged 40 and I’m a total
convert. You do need to use a light period pant with them for heavier or erratic bleeding days tho as (just like a tampon) you don’t know when it becomes full as you can’t see it. They’re so freeing once you get the hang of being a bit more up close and personal with your own gore. Really good for the environment and saves you a sh*t tonne of money, what’s not to like! ❤️

If you type "Mentrual necklace" on Etsy, the search brings up Vulva Necklace...
They don't seem to target teenagers though 😂

I think it’s a lovely thing to do, OP.

I think I'd have liked some nice underwear, or some fun snacks or bath stuff. Definitely not something so on the nose.

Tampons are one of the greatest inventions in history

Yes, I think this is weird.

It’s not necessary to commodify everything. Just talking to her genuinely and being supportive would be enough.

If you really want to get her something perhaps a hot water bottle as others have suggested. Though personally I’ve never used one and wouldn’t.

Awww OP some people are being quite harsh. I totally understand the sentiment and she doesn't have to say to people oh my mum git me this necklace for my period when asked. But ridiculous and sarcastic of some posters, they sound miserable. I think though, a cute basket with fresh pjs, a hit water bottle, Slippers, a blanket and some other cute essentials ( a lip balm eyc) will go down better and still give the positive energy that you're wanting!!!

Mine did the exact same thing, she chucked some sanitary towels in a brown paper bag and said, “You’ll need these one day” Like you, no explanation, no nothing.

A few years later when I was buying my own, she went mad at me because I’d left a packet on my bed. She yelled at me “You’ll need these can’t leave these out like that, it’s a cardinal sin, what if your dad saw!!!!”

Now in her 80’s, she’s even worse, judgemental and nasty about everything and everybody.