CMS

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I live same building with my kids and ex.
We have a big flat , where the kids are, and a small flat, where I stay.

I see the kids and support every day for homework music food and we go out to play sport every day.

Only thing
The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

The mother is claiming child maintenance because she says the kids don't sleep at mine.

The mother had a job, is from a wealthy family ( inheritocratie

Given the fact that I am involved 100% in there life I

Whats your question?

Not sure what your question is?

So are you asking, why should I pay my ex?

Taking your kids out for a kick about doesn’t absolve you of your responsibility to contribute financially. Their mother is still providing a home for them and you should pay towards their costs.

Do you pay for 50% of their food, clothes, & supplies?

Supplies is anything they use, school, home, hobbies etc.

Supplies also is things like towels, bed sheets... all the stuff that is in a household.

CMS is about daily costs/overall costs/responsibilities.

It sounds like a little out of the ordinary but helpful for their upbringing to be so close. Do you have set days that are with you? Do you cook/pay for meals etc/are they in your flat day time until bedtime? Who pays extra costs such as school trips/jackets/bikes etc.

Unfortunately CMS is based on overnights so it may be that you have to make space in your flat for them to reflect the days you are actually watching them.

Assuming the kids staying in the house 100% & you/ex alternating between the flat isn't an option

You don't have the kids any overnights, that's how CMS works. Get somewhere where you can look after your kids and have them for days at a time.

For child maintenance only nights matter get a bigger flat have the kids 50/50 uou won't have to pay a penny to your ex

You WILL however have to pay for clothing childcare if you use it on your days food beds bedding toothbrush shoes extra everything because your 50/50 therefore the responsibility will be on you too Dr's dentist school meetings sick days inset days and everything else I've missed off my list

I live in the same building as my children and my ex-partner. They reside in our large flat, while I have a smaller one. Despite being fully involved in my children's lives daily – helping with homework, music, meals, and taking them out for sports – their mother is demanding child maintenance. The sole reason she states is that the children don't sleep at my smaller flat, even though they easily could, and their own beds upstairs are simply more comfortable. What makes this particularly frustrating is that their mother has a job, comes from an incredibly wealthy family (through inheritance), and even admits she doesn't need the money, stating it's 'a matter of principle.' (I am of working class background).Given my 100% involvement, it seems incredibly greedy of her to pursue financial support when she clearly has no financial need. This creates resentment on both sides.Can the Child Maintenance Service see that this is a blatant waste of their time and resources, driven by nothing more than avarice?"

Doesn't matter that she comes from a wealthy family. Wouldn't a private agreement be better or did you not want to?

So you don't think you need to financially support your children at all? Just help with homework and play football...

That's not how it works.

CM is based on how many overnights each parents have so technically your ex is right. Even if you had them in your flat until bedtime when they went to your ex’s flat, she would technically get full CM.

Her financial position has nothing to do with how much CM you pay. It’s a percentage of your income with a discount based on how many overnights you have.

I pay for everything when the kids are with me , out the weekends and on holidays. I provide full support . When the kids are at mine (my flat and consumables are theirs).
The mother does not need the money. She is wealthy. Parents have castle and huge house by beach.
She wants money by principle. Not by need. And bear in mind, I am helping everyday with fixing clothes, ironing clothes etc but not at a rate of 50/50. But I am playing outside with them at a rate of 99/0.
Although she decides to work part time for quality of life .

Yeah ok pull the other one.

Her parents having money has no relevance to you getting her pregnant and her having had your children.

This is why CMS doesn't work as a blunt tool.
But that's how it's run, so she can open a claim and will be entitled to money under their rules. I guess you could try taking it to court, but that will almost certainly sour what sounds like a positive co-parenting relationship.
Presumably her bills are higher on account of having the bigger place. What about if the DC are sick/ have an inset day, who takes time off work? Who does all the laundry? Gets up in the night if needed, and so on?

It doesn’t matter the financial situation of the mum, you need to pay for your kids. Helping them with homework doesn’t absolve you of financial responsibility.

When you say 'our large flat' who owns it and who is paying the mortgage?

Do you want practical advice?
Option one:
Go to court to get it mandated that the children spend a fixed number of nights with you. Then make them spend those nights with you. Then inform CMS and the maintenance will be adjusted accordingly.

Option two:
Carry on as you are, pay the maintenance, but limit what you spend or provide at your home.
E.g. if the children want to go swimming, they bring a towel and kit from Mum's place. Don't keep any of their clothes at your place - send them back to Mum's flat to collect clothes. Don't give them snacks at your place, and send them back to Mum's to have their proper evening meal. Don't provide toys at your place, they have to bring them from Mum's and take them back afterwards.

Option three:
Carry on paying maintenance, and spend as much as you want on the children, keep clothes and toys at your place, provide meals, and stop thinking about how much money their mum has because that is none of your business.

Who pays the bill on the large flat? Pays for the food, sports activities, kids clothes and the million of things they need?

She's not greedy at all. If she has them overnight and you don't she's absolutely legally entitled to child maintenance.

I don't understand why you think you shouldn't pay for your children. Change your mindset.

That's not "helping", it's parenting. The role of a parent. You might want to try it.

This is such an unusual family set up, its no wonder the rules aren't based on this kid of situation.

Who owns the building and your flat? Did you buy it jointly, or did she or her family pay for it? Do you pay rent or live there rent free? Do you pay utilities?

Cms is only based on overnights

usually on threads that’s seen as a bad thing as fathers are presumed to do overnights and not actually share the responsibilities

on this thread it’ll be seen as a good thing as despite sharing the responsibilities you’ll still have to pay

"Waaaahhhh my ex is loaded but still wants a contribution towards my children's upbringing even though I play football with them and consider normal parenting 'helping'"

If you don't want to pay towards your children, have them overnight at yours 50% of the time.