CMS

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I live same building with my kids and ex.
We have a big flat , where the kids are, and a small flat, where I stay.

I see the kids and support every day for homework music food and we go out to play sport every day.

Only thing
The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

The mother is claiming child maintenance because she says the kids don't sleep at mine.

The mother had a job, is from a wealthy family ( inheritocratie

Given the fact that I am involved 100% in there life I

Legally you should be paying CM and child expenses during their time with you. Most couples do this so that they have privacy from their ex with regards to expense.

If you don’t want to pay CM then your only choice
is to insist that the kids sleep at yours 50% of the time

You are unreasonable to think that you shouldn’t have to pay anything because your ex is wealthy. You are financially and emotionally responsible for your kids and the blunt CMS formula means that your contribution is rightly relative to your income rather than the lifestyle that the kids enjoyed when you were married.

Stop calling it helping. You're not helping, you're parenting. That's your job.

Who buys their breakfast, lunches, dinners? Who buys the uniforms, shoes, schoolbags, coats?. The beds they sleep in, the sheets, the heating bills?
Is it you?

Do you pay a full fifty percent of the cost of raising your children?

Yeah nobody is talking about an ice lolly or happy meal when you've taken them out to the park.

People have literally asked you a dozen times on this thread if she pays for their clothing, their food, their uniform, their clubs, heating, water, travel the list goes on or if you contribute to that?

Don't mention how you take them outside again, no one cares about that. You've asked a question, and its been answered. Next.

Her family have a castle?

That's why I don't believe the OP is telling the truth.

Can you move back in to the upstairs flat?

You have children you provide for them.

CMS is meant to go towards housing and presumably she pays for a more expensive home with more bills?
You should ask her to come to a private arrangement but if she won't then you could reduce what you buy in terms of clothing haircuts etc

No. His ex wife and children live there.

'Our' flat - if it's still your home that you own you can move back in there and she can go and stay in the little flat

No. That's not how it works

Op i have now read you updates, I don't think morally she should go through CMS no, but according to them yes she will get awarded it as she's classed as housing them.

To try to deter her from doing the claim, You can argue to move back into the big home which you're entitled to do, insist you take turns living in the big flat with the kids eg week on week off OR charge her occupational rent as you don't have use of your property which will probably cancel out the child maintenance.

@ArminTamzerian of course it is. So many ex couples on here that own property together have to live together until they sell the home
They both live in. There are many here wanting the ex to move out and they won't budge. Unless there is domestic abuse and one parent gets an occupation order then they both have the right to occupy the property they both own, one half of a couple can't kick someone out of the shared property just because of a romantic break up.

If he doesn't want to insist he moves back or they share the big house (I don't advise doing this but it would be helpful to point out you're entitled to it in the same way that she's saying she's entitled to cms) then I'd tell her than if she goes to CMS he'll have to charge her occupational use

*occupational rent

Or you insist she buys you out of the big flat and then you can take that cash to upgrade your own flat to a bigger one and have the kids stay with you more

Ps how does this situation work with dating?
If you bring a new potential girlfriend back to stay the night aren't you worried about jumping into kids and ex in the lift?
Do you ever 'babysit' your kids in your exes home so that she can have nights out or does she stay in with them every night? If you work out the cost of cms per night it's a very cheap babysitting fee tbh which is gladly apt for the freedom to be able to go out any evening I choose and have a social life

He's already moved out. He's got his own flat.

It's fairly bloody obvious that he can't just move back into her home if he feels like it.

How is he entitled to it? He hasn't clarified who paid for it, or if they were married. He seems incredibly tight, I presume he insisted her parents pay for it.

CM is to pay for any and all costs associated with children. Why do you think it's specifically for housing?

@brettsalanger .
The mother refuses that the kids sleep downstairs so she can claim child maintenance. is that right to you ?

He said the flat is still co-owned so he has as much right to live there as she does.

Who pays for:

Food, including school meals
Gas, electric and water at their primary residence
School uniform including school shoes and PE kits
School supplies
School trips
Home clothes including seasonal gear, winter coats etc
Toiletries
Music lessons (as you said you go to help with music?)
Irregular but expensive costs like new bikes
Childcare (breakfast club, after school club, holiday clubs if children do any of these?)
Swimming lessons and/or any extra curricular activities, including swimming gear, anything needed for activities
Fun activities, birthday presents, including for friends kids that they attend parties of
Fundraising things at school and any costumes required for school plays etc
Any babysitters required
Toys, books, games
Pocket money
Mobile phones if kids have them, any subscriptions like disney+ that the kids benefit from
Savings accounts

If you are not paying half of all costs associated with all of the above, then yes you should be paying maintenance.

As well as above, who does the school runs and running around to their various activities? Who takes them to appointments: GP, hospital, dentist, optician, orthodontist? Who looks after children when they are sick?

You don’t really seem to have a good idea of the true costs of raising children, because you keep saying things like “I go to help with homework and meals” etc…. But who pays for everything? It sounds like you just want to do the fun stuff and none of the essential daily parenting, including paying for stuff…

Honestly, you sound a bit like my ex, who seems to think because I earn more than him (because I’ve worked my way up in my career… and I had to get a better job to pay the mortgage on my own) and because my mum came into some money, that absconds him from all financial responsibility. It doesn’t.

No you said - The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

Are you now trying to move the goalposts of your original post to sway peoples responses to the direction you want them to go in?

As a note about the flat being co-owned, I am assuming you have fairly recently split in which case you are yet to sort out finances. You will need to do this in due course, and it should mean you will get some money from the flat, whether or not the decision is made to sell it, or if your ex decides to buy you out. Speak to a solicitor for some advice on what you may realistically be looking at.

However this is entirely separate to the issue of child maintenance, and in the meantime before the agreement is made about finances, the children need to be provided for.

OP, you still haven't stated how expenses like uniform, school lunches, trips etc. are split? This isn't an attack, but you haven't responded to any questions about this. This would certainly help give a balanced view.