CMS

[Runto]

I live same building with my kids and ex.
We have a big flat , where the kids are, and a small flat, where I stay.

I see the kids and support every day for homework music food and we go out to play sport every day.

Only thing
The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

The mother is claiming child maintenance because she says the kids don't sleep at mine.

The mother had a job, is from a wealthy family ( inheritocratie

Given the fact that I am involved 100% in there life I

We will repeat again, just because she has money doesn't mean that you don't pay for your kids.

So in a nutshell

Anyone who thinks I can't use this piss poor excuse not to provide financially for my children, is "family irresponsible."

Pay for the children you made you absolute entitled cheapskate.

For fucks sake, you’re just trying to wind us up now. MN invented the word cocklodger just for you. I suppose you expected your wealthy in-laws to keep you when you were married, too? Your wages (assuming you work) were kept by you as recompense for playing with your own children?

OP you use a lot of words to say you're a deadbeat who won't pay for his children

The wealth of the mother is entirely irrelevant. You really do have to stop banging that drum OP.
As others have said, if you want to avoid paying child maintenance, you either need to move back in to the jointly owned home, or you need to get yourself a place that is big enough to have the children overnight for at least 50% of the time. You should be able to do this if you finalise the divorce and get the equity out of the big flat. Sounds like your ex will be able to buy you out.

No life isn't fair. Once again a you seem to struggle to understand, that's why the CMS one size fits all approach doesn't always work. No because your ex is rich, bit because you could technically be feeding them 3 means a day, paying for all extra curriculars etc and still be liable to pay purely on where they sleep.

However. It's clear that isn't the case here. You've said you don't pay for 50% of costs. So that's why you need to pay. Paying for a pay out and letting the DC raid the biscuit tin doesn't count ffs. Otherwise I'm the third parent to my nieces, nephews and best friends child.

Any chance you could answer who takes time off from work when needed? Gets up in the night when DC are sick etc?

Alright, let’s move on and look at a different example. Imagine a super-wealthy royal claiming unemployment benefits—legally, they might be entitled to it, but morally, it would be a complete misuse of the system. That’s the kind of disconnect I’m talking about.

let's go back to the original case. with more information.
For context: in this case, the mother doesn’t want the children sleeping at the father, saying it wouldn’t be very comfortable for them.

You are definitely on the wind up.

I'm not sure that a super wealthy royal can claim any form of benefits tbh.
And its not comparable.
Tax payer paying benefits to super wealthy royal is nothing like father paying for his own children.

Well it won't be if they don't have their own bedroom and beds

And the father could take the mother to court for overnight access if he genuinely wanted it.

It’s nothing like that. A child is 50% a mother’s responsibility and 50% a father’s. The mother is covering her 50% and the father should cover his, regardless of the mother’s situation.

You’re happy to sponge off your ex? Have you no dignity?

And CM is nothing like benefits! You stuck your dick in and sired these children, now you need to follow through on YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. The money is for your children, not your ex.

As an aside, I assume you work full time or you wouldn’t have to pay CMS beyond a few pennies. How are you at your children’s disposal 24/7 if you work?

Legally they will be entitled to 6 months contribution based job seekers only if they had paid taxes although I'm not sure if the savings portion kicks in on contribution based or not

Also it doesn't matter if one parent isn't comfortable with the children sleeping over the other parent simply needs a suitable home and a couple of hundred pounds for court unless there are extreme factors they will get overnight access

@ HaddyAbrams .

Apologies—I may have overlooked your question. So yes, the father does take time off work and even wakes up in the middle of the night when the kids are staying with him.
You're the only one in this whole "status quo bias" festival who seems to acknowledge that the CMS approach isn’t one-size-fits-all. And that matters.

As for your comparison—I don’t think your best friend’s child, niece, or nephew can just raid your flat whenever they like, unless they live directly above you. And if they did, you'd absolutely be acting as a third parent. No question about that !

What is the arrangement with the flats?

If you own both 50/50, the large is paid off, and you're paying 100% of the mortgage on the small one, that would be what you should focus on as this seems unfair

She owes you rent for sole occupancy of a flat you own half of if she's not contributing to the mortgage of the flat she owns half of

That may well balance out what you owe her in CMS anyway

But you said they don't stay with you overnight, which is it to be?

So yes, the father does take time off work and even wakes up in the middle of the night when the kids are staying with him.

I thought they weren't allowed to stay with you?
So let's assume that's a rare occurrence, so Mum does most of them?
What % of the total parenting do you do? That doesn't mean taking them outside more than Mum does. But the boring everyday stuff. Washing. Cleaning. Drs/dentist etc. Who notices when they need a new winter coat, or more uniform etc?

If the mother really won’t allow the kids to sleep at dad’s, why hasn’t he taken her to court? It costs something like £210 plus a mediation session.

Because he is looking for sympathy votes.

some people says who feed the kids. whichever fridge they open . which heating they enjoy, whichever flat they in.

@vodkaredbullgirl .When the kid sleep with the father, the father wakes up if kid unwell.

one kid sleeps on the sofa and one kid of the bed of the father. Father will sleep on an inflatable single mat. The mother says it is not okay.

So are you the father or NOT?

So you and your ex both have enough food for them to eat 3 meals and snacks at your house? Don't you need to meal plan? What about waste? That sounds very inconvenient.

If the dad doesn’t agree then go to court for 50/50 access, then your CMS issues go away too.

But you won’t I bet

Staying with him? So you do have them overnight??

Is op still tying themselves in knots trying to get us to agree the dad shouldn't pay because he provides unlimited custard creams and goes outside with his own kids?

I wonder how op will justify a dad not contributing towards his kids tomorrow?

"A train leaves Penzance at 9am going 80mph and another train leaves Inverness at 7am going 75mph when they meet in Carlisle how much CMS should the dad pay considering how much income a train station has (bearing in mind a caramel bar on a train is £1.10.) Is that fair?"