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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
DappledThings · 02/05/2025 14:49

SophEll · 02/05/2025 14:46

As it stands, c.80% think the school should have been even mpre robust in there response which is interesting. It’s certainly some turnaround from some of the views previously!

Hilarious. You know that's bollocks and are definitely on the wind up now and that nobody is following your instructions regarding the vote. Everyone saying YABU just means YOU are being unreasonable.

PineappleChicken · 02/05/2025 14:50

Bigearringsbigsmile · 02/05/2025 13:16

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This one of the most batshit things I've ever read on here

That’s because it’s a totally made up story for attention. This troll got you all.

Yeswoman · 02/05/2025 14:50

lots misogynistic women on this thread. Sad to see.

menopausalfart · 02/05/2025 14:51

The responses from OP, make this look like an absolute wind-up.

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 14:51

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:46

I don't need to pick, thanks. It has the potential to be both. If the school does take her complaint about his comment – which was her original complaint after all – seriously, he'll be hauled before a disciplinary hearing. That's general school procedure. Or they could be satisfied the head's "off you fuck" speech has made her go away. My money would be on the latter if I didn't think that OP might not let it go. What if she's not happy with what the head puts in writing? She's clearly of a persistent vindictive nature.

If you think this is potentially career-ending, you must agree this is not only a breach of his employment conditions but actually a pretty serious one.

How is that consistent with also believing this is a nothing?

dairydebris · 02/05/2025 14:51

GeorgianaM · 02/05/2025 14:48

If true it's absolutely disgusting of the school to take the word of someone when it was a he said she said matter outside of the school.

I dont think they did. They just fobbed her off and she fell for it.
Either that or we're all pawns in her scheme to fill the last few days of her time.
Either way, I think it's best left here as the OP is enjoying it a little too much.

HarrietPierce · 02/05/2025 14:51

I can't even see how to vote, If I could it would definitely be you are being unreasonable.

"They’ve all gone very quiet now they have been proven wrong."

Are you deluded ?

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 14:51

HRTQueen · 02/05/2025 14:07

glad to hear this op

its now on record if there are other such complaints. Its not just to shut her up 🙄more internalised misogyny

We should not be accepting such misogynistic behaviour from men and laughing it off as silly drunk antics

What record would this go on?

How would it be phrased in such a way that it wouldn't get the school in to major trouble?

JudgeJ · 02/05/2025 14:51

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 02/05/2025 13:26

oh ffs ! Mrs Smug has posted her 3rd thread.

She mustn't have much in her perfect life that she can waste so much time on this self-promotion thread! Hopefully there'll be a picture of her up in the gents' loo in the school, Avoid this one when she's out on the town!

GeorgianaM · 02/05/2025 14:52

Tune in next week when someone parks three inches over the OP's driveway and the op spies that the driver works for Tesco, so off she marches to Tesco to raise hell at the customer service desk.

Apparently we are not allowed to use the K word on here but that is exactly what the op is.

centralcasting · 02/05/2025 14:52

CanYouTurnItDown · 02/05/2025 14:28

Who will play the teacher?

John Simm

Scentedjasmin · 02/05/2025 14:54

I'm really glad of your outcome OP as I seemed to be in the minority when I backed you. For me the issue was that his inappropriate comments related back to an incident when he was interacting with you in a professional capacity. That is different from if he had not previously interacted with you or had not referenced seeing you at parents' evening. Am glad to see that common sense has prevailed. A verbal warning is a proprtionate response here.

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:55

centralcasting · 02/05/2025 14:52

John Simm

Too good looking. Because let's be honest, if the teacher had been gorgeous, OP wouldn't have been so quick to complain. The whole thing (even though I now think it's a wind up) smacks of "How dare something like him proposition someone like me."

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:56

SophEll · 02/05/2025 14:47

They’ve all gone very quiet now they have been proven wrong.

Common sense has prevailed in the end.

Confirmed

Baby Reindeer🤣

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 14:56

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:31

3pm? Is that what time you finish school?

Its when she will be outside the school, on a stage that was put up in a rush so the the teacher can be dragged out in sackcloth and ashes to give her a full repentant apology in front of not only the entire school but the tv cameras so that the world can watch how special and brave she truly is.

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:57

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 14:56

Its when she will be outside the school, on a stage that was put up in a rush so the the teacher can be dragged out in sackcloth and ashes to give her a full repentant apology in front of not only the entire school but the tv cameras so that the world can watch how special and brave she truly is.

I'll watch out for her getting her extreme bravery award at The Pride of Britain awards too

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:57

PineappleChicken · 02/05/2025 14:50

That’s because it’s a totally made up story for attention. This troll got you all.

Maybe, but either way she/he should get a better hobby surely

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 14:58

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:57

I'll watch out for her getting her extreme bravery award at The Pride of Britain awards too

I'm sure that there is a noble prize in her future as well.

LetMeGoogleThat · 02/05/2025 14:58

centralcasting · 02/05/2025 14:52

John Simm

Chris McCausland

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:59

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:57

I'll watch out for her getting her extreme bravery award at The Pride of Britain awards too

She'll be elbowing all the burns victims and disabled kids out of the way on the red carpet to get to the free champagne first.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:00

LetMeGoogleThat · 02/05/2025 14:58

Chris McCausland

Nooooooooo

Sean Bean

whatdoidonowffs · 02/05/2025 15:00

It’s 3 o’clock smug champagne drinking post incoming !!!!

BloodandGlitter · 02/05/2025 15:01

Are they going to pay for your therapy to help you get over having a man make a sleazy comment to you? It must have been so hard for you to have to go through that.

HeadNorth · 02/05/2025 15:01

YABU so I voted YABU - away with your nonsense trying to spin it as a victory because the overwhelming consensus is You Are Being Unreasonable.

Your petty need to 'win', even down pretend misinterpreting the results of a Mumsnet poll, must make you very trying company.

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 15:01

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:00

Nooooooooo

Sean Bean

It can only be Sean Bean if he dies.