Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

[SophEll]

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

I'm starting to think you're jumping the shark now and this is all made up. MN seem to think you're a genuine poster, but I honestly don't believe anyone in real life could be so smug and self-congratulatory about potential fucking up someone's career. If this isn't one long wind-up, I fear for your husband and DC. One step out of line and you'll take a hit out on the poor sods.

Please can it be Tom Hardy?

I'd be bending over the desk before he said parents evening

Tom Hardy having graphic fantasies about me would be the dream.

Ooooooooo

Interesting

So a bit like Baby Reindeer?

Depending on what the guy was like in general (he may well gave form for being a creep, because generally nice respectful guys don't tend to use a comment like that as their go to chat up line, do they?) they may well be glad to see him get a slap on the wrist. If only because it may stop him repeating it and really harming his career. I certainly can't imagine the decent responsible teachers I know convulsed with mirth at the idea a woman would complain about this.

On the private life thing I guess we aren't going to agree. This is a person he knows only through his work, and only while working, and his sexualised comment was directly about their professional interaction at his workplace.

This isn't a complaint that she met a random guy in a bar and he said something sleazy, and he turned out to be a teacher. Then I'd agree with you.

But she's not a work contact. Her kids don't go to the school and haven't attended for years by the sounds of things. She's a former parent and has no involvement in his workplace.

I’m not sure that this update shows the OP in the light she thinks it does 😂

You need to pick one: either this is a nothing, or this is potentially career-ending.

I agree OP's tone on MN hasn't been particularly endearing, but I don't think she owes that either to him or to the crowd.

I'm 99% sure we are being trolled and 100% sure the OP has thoroughly enjoyed the attention.

I voted YABU because you're being unreasonable.....

I agree after the way this thread was written and subsequent updates.

Or I think this thread is completely made up to try and claim that she was right and end the discussion.

Actually this has taken me down memory lane.

A squillion years ago my husband interviewed me for a job, which I got,worked with him for a while, then moved on..

Years later we met up got married had four kids and now grandchildren. Some time into the relationship he shared some information on what he was thinking at the interview😃

Now this is very very different, but I think two women two men in a club having a conversation. Guy is pished. Guy fancies woman and blurts out the stupidest comment ever, sleezy and dicky....immediately says to himself oh fuck. Friend says excuse me.....Guy says 'joking obviously' and scuttles into the night .

Op is twattering on about what she went through when a lot if us actually sit and listen to her shite having ACTUALLY been victims.

Load of bollix abd I'm glad she got the nice fuck off response

As it stands, c.80% think the school should have been even mpre robust in there response which is interesting. It’s certainly some turnaround from some of the views previously!

I don't need to pick, thanks. It has the potential to be both. If the school does take her complaint about his comment – which was her original complaint after all – seriously, he'll be hauled before a disciplinary hearing. That's general school procedure. Or they could be satisfied the head's "off you fuck" speech has made her go away. My money would be on the latter if I didn't think that OP might not let it go. What if she's not happy with what the head puts in writing? She's clearly of a persistent vindictive nature.

One thing I don't think I saw in the original replies to this post is that - whilst this occurred outside of the workplace - teachers are (and should be) held to a high standard of behaviour both in and outside of the workplace. They teach our kids. It's a regulated area. As it should be. They shouldn't be behaving inappropriately outside the workplace. Not saying the guy should lose his job, but he needs reminding of that standard of expected behaviour. You can't be sexist creep to parents you've run into at a bar. Surely everyone agrees with this?
well done to the OP for taking him and the school to task.

Bollocks – people are voting you are BU regardless of how you skewed the poll to your own advantage!

Why what you gonna do?

You gonna turn up at said school to confirm that this bloke has been sacked?

Or are you just gonna have a glass of Prosecco “on ice” to “celebrate”?

They’ve all gone very quiet now they have been proven wrong.

Common sense has prevailed in the end.

That’s what I voted too, love the hidden options OP to force the answer you want.

You must lead a very sad life OP.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

My tail is in exactly the same place, bless your naivety! I would love to have been a fly on the wall when the Head and the Chair of Governors talked, Thomas Becket springs to mind, Who will rid me of this troublesome priest?!

If true it's absolutely disgusting of the school to take the word of someone when it was a he said she said matter outside of the school.

As I say, thats a point we aren't going to agree on. It can't be that professional standards/disrepute only apply in an ongoing relationship, or it would fail to apply to all sorts of scenarios where contact is episodic and perhaps never repeated (policeman, paramedic, conveyancer, could all do this with impunity. Your dentist could once you've moved practice, etc). I think employment codes of all four would catch this sort of scenario, and think that's right too.

I do hope they use the same theme tune for the upcoming drama. In case you didn't know it was... Wonder if said teacher actually used an arab strap.

They’ve all gone very quiet now they have been proven wrong.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 The delusion is real.

We're still all here. Still all eye rolling at you.