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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 15:02

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:00

Nooooooooo

Sean Bean

I don't feel like the paedo, rapist sexual degenerate vibes are strong enough with him. He'd actually want to discuss your childs progress with you.

DappledThings · 02/05/2025 15:03

HeadNorth · 02/05/2025 15:01

YABU so I voted YABU - away with your nonsense trying to spin it as a victory because the overwhelming consensus is You Are Being Unreasonable.

Your petty need to 'win', even down pretend misinterpreting the results of a Mumsnet poll, must make you very trying company.

Whilst simultaneously not reading anything anyone has written because she can then pretend she hasn't seen the hundreds of replies still saying she's in the wrong. I suspect OP is like Father Jack and if you pop a little cloth over her head she'll immediately think it's night time and go to sleep.

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 15:03

whatdoidonowffs · 02/05/2025 15:00

It’s 3 o’clock smug champagne drinking post incoming !!!!

Ooh I hope we get a drunken rant off her later.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:03

whatdoidonowffs · 02/05/2025 15:00

It’s 3 o’clock smug champagne drinking post incoming !!!!

Overrated ahite champagne

Gives me terrible heartburn

Give me a wee jack Daniels any day

With a desk, Tom Hardy and Colin Farrell

centralcasting · 02/05/2025 15:03

or James Nesbitt

JLou08 · 02/05/2025 15:03

Ooo you really are loving your 5 minutes of fame with a trending thread 🤣

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:04

The responses on this thread are unhinged. Did a claxon go off in every teaching union HQ?
The teacher's behaviour was unacceptable and specifically referenced his thoughts at his school - whilst the OP's kids were pupils The OP was quite within her rights to complain. The school is quite within it's rights to conclude (if it did) that no further action was necessary or to take any action it deemed appropriate. It should not have simply dismissed the complaint. The OP hasn't called for a public flogging.
Calling the OP a liar and any number of other insults doesn't help.

LadyWiddiothethird · 02/05/2025 15:04

The school has successfully got rid of the OP (if the story is true!).

They will all be having a good laugh at her expense.

The teacher will be going about his life blissfully unaware about the whole saga.

The woman is batshit barmy.

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 15:04

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 15:02

I don't feel like the paedo, rapist sexual degenerate vibes are strong enough with him. He'd actually want to discuss your childs progress with you.

Kevin Bacon?

He has done some very deep roles that have had some dark undertones

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:04

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 15:01

It can only be Sean Bean if he dies.

Well I'd say getting your head lopped off it's a cert

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:05

Pol Roger for those interested - on offer in Waitrose currently. I can thoroughly recommend!

OP posts:
SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 15:06

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:04

The responses on this thread are unhinged. Did a claxon go off in every teaching union HQ?
The teacher's behaviour was unacceptable and specifically referenced his thoughts at his school - whilst the OP's kids were pupils The OP was quite within her rights to complain. The school is quite within it's rights to conclude (if it did) that no further action was necessary or to take any action it deemed appropriate. It should not have simply dismissed the complaint. The OP hasn't called for a public flogging.
Calling the OP a liar and any number of other insults doesn't help.

Oh do keep up. The OP's children were no longer pupils at the school and hadn't been for ages.

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:06

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:04

The responses on this thread are unhinged. Did a claxon go off in every teaching union HQ?
The teacher's behaviour was unacceptable and specifically referenced his thoughts at his school - whilst the OP's kids were pupils The OP was quite within her rights to complain. The school is quite within it's rights to conclude (if it did) that no further action was necessary or to take any action it deemed appropriate. It should not have simply dismissed the complaint. The OP hasn't called for a public flogging.
Calling the OP a liar and any number of other insults doesn't help.

I think quite a few are struggling with the fact the school have apologised to me for their mis-handling of the complaint.

Bless them!

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 02/05/2025 15:07

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:16

For anyone unsure on the voting:

YABU - the school should have responded more strongly.

YANBU - it’s a reasonable outcome.

Amazing.

Isthisit22 · 02/05/2025 15:07

You sound absolutely unbearable.
You think this means you were right but what this actually means is that the poor Headteacher is just apologising so you will finally go away and they can get on with much more important work.
Bravo

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:07

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 15:02

I don't feel like the paedo, rapist sexual degenerate vibes are strong enough with him. He'd actually want to discuss your childs progress with you.

Fair point well made

Jason Momoa would be promising?

purpleme12 · 02/05/2025 15:07

Think OP wants attention and replying is just giving her what she wants now

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 15:09

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:05

Pol Roger for those interested - on offer in Waitrose currently. I can thoroughly recommend!

We all know it is £5 Asda Chateaux De Shite!

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:11

purpleme12 · 02/05/2025 15:07

Think OP wants attention and replying is just giving her what she wants now

Ah sure we're just taking the piss now. We know it's twollix

FrippEnos · 02/05/2025 15:13

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:06

I think quite a few are struggling with the fact the school have apologised to me for their mis-handling of the complaint.

Bless them!

I thought that we had all run away with our tails between our legs?

Do make your mind up.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 15:13

centralcasting · 02/05/2025 15:03

or James Nesbitt

Oh I know him! He hails from my neck of the woods

ExpressCheckout · 02/05/2025 15:14

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:06

I think quite a few are struggling with the fact the school have apologised to me for their mis-handling of the complaint.

Bless them!

Meanwhile an even larger number are struggling to understand what on earth is happening inside your mind, and wondering if your DC and DH are OK, given the time and energy you've put into this.

Bless you!

GiroJim100 · 02/05/2025 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

scalt · 02/05/2025 15:16

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 02/05/2025 13:43

Hyacinth Bucket for me....especially the ordering the long suffering husband (Riiiichard!) to put the champagne on ice.

That reminds me of something Hyacinth did say to Richard:
"I want you to complain to the bakery about how they delivered my order. Be scathing, Richard. Crush them."

And in another character portrayed by Patricia Routledge: "I had a little day in London last year, and it was dog dirt everywhere! I spotted some on the pavement right outside Buckingham Palace! I wrote to the Queen about it. I had a charming letter back from a lady-in-waiting, who said that Her Majesty appreciated my interest, and that my letter had been passed on to the appropriate authority."

ilovesooty · 02/05/2025 15:16

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:06

I think quite a few are struggling with the fact the school have apologised to me for their mis-handling of the complaint.

Bless them!

They've only issued a vague apology to get rid of you because they have more important things to do.