Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

[SophEll]

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

More likely

“Brian, we’ve had some woman on. Did you get shedded and say something sexually inappropriate?
”WTF, didn't happen”
”No worries. Just have to check, I can’t be arsed with these phone calls”

It seems pretty clear that they didn't take it seriously and just said what they had to to get rid of her and her tiresome complaint.

Hoppinggreen!!! Wash your mouth out! 🫢 😂

Does that mean I'm not allowed to ask the science teacher if I can use his face as a chair when he tells me to sit down at parents evening?

I'm not surprised that there are some sectors where this would be brushed off, but I'm surprised teaching is one of them. (Partly because this sort of thing stopped being a laughing matter in my, quite male-dominated, sectors two decades ago, and I thought of teaching as more progressive than that).

Two reasons I think I'm seeing this very differently from most here: i) I'm seeing her as a work contact (analogous to a client/former client). The sectors I know, employers care hugely how their staff behave with work contacts, especially unwanted sexualised comments, which would be stamped on hard. Many people seem to see her as 'just a mum', or 'just a former mum', which I'm not really understanding. His profession is teaching, he knows her only through that, professional standards apply. And ii) on premises/off premises doesn't make much difference to disrepute (especially as the work context was central to his comment). 'I was drunk and in a bar' wouldn't be a good enough explanation.

May I ask whether the sectors you know are ones that are traditionally considered professions?

I went back to your original post where you were told in no unreasonable terms to get over yourself and not to damage this guy’s career.

Yet you persevered and escalated your complaint.

This had nothing to do with your child - this teacher flirted on you on a night out. A mitigating factor is he was drunk. Obviously, you’re not used to being hit on.

You were told by the head teacher that this wasn’t a school issue.

You believed you were in the right and you pushed the issue and now you are giddy with excitement that you have gotten this teacher into trouble.

I need to express how pathetic you are. Your behaviour by pushing this issue with this guys employer was to continue the narrative that you’re so attractive he couldn’t help but be creepy towards you. It’s one thing to be angry at the behaviour but it’s another thing to react with positive joy at the prospect you’ve interfered with a person’s career.

Pathetic.

Indeed. It's possible for him to be a dick and for her to be a smug vacuous prat.

Op do get over yourself tail between my legs my aunt fanny🤣

I cringed reading your update so much I could fit in my bottom drawer😁

Just as I predicted Head Teacher has been tasked to make it go away, another parent waving a pitchfork who needs a pat on the head and to feel placated. I wouldn't have complained personally but defended your right to do so, even though I strongly disagreed that it merited such an official approach.

The reason you get such ridicule is your terribly unlikeable manner, and your post from your high horse thinking you've won. You still don't know whether your complaint is being taken seriously because you've got a pat on the head from the Head.

I haven't commented on any of these threads about this situation before but I've read them and the overriding impressuon I get of you is someone who's just so smug. That comes across more than any other feeling on the subject

Sounds like they've just paying lip service to your points in hopes you'll fuck off and leave them alone. What a massive win for you.

Get a hobby, you've been fed the oldest trick in the book. Its called making sure you feel heard, school will do fook all, but you'll leave them in peace.

🤔

This in spades. I still think they will be laughing at you in the staff room and are just doing damage limitation with this. The smuggery, if that's even a word, is outstanding here and it doesn't paint you in a good light at all.

Nope.

Still think you are awful.

Did you not insist on a copy of their new complaints procedure?

Off you fuck placating response

I love this🤣

Who will play the teacher?

Roll on 3pm!

Champagne - After causing one hell of a pointless drama then accepting being fobbed off with the oldest speech in the book.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

To clarify my YABU vote was for you (op) are being unreasonable.

Anyway, glad you’re happy, sounds like a pyrrhic victory to me.

Hope the teachers ok. Yes, his comment was ill advised but he doesn’t deserve all this. I hope the heads just told him to be a bit more circumspect in future.

I can see it being Gary Oldman but as a similar character to his role as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses.

Ready made cast

It's a shame that you seem more concerned about yourself and 'being right' than showing any concern for your DC and the impact this might have on them. What a vacuous, empty, and tiresome life you must lead.

3pm? Is that what time you finish school?

I'm starting to wonder now if this was actually the other way around and she tried to chat the teacher up, was rejected and is now a woman scorned. Stranger things have happened.