Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

Because

1. Most of them think teaching is easy and they could do it.

1. If it's so easy, why don't they?

1. If they do it, and they think this is an OK standard of behaviour, then it ought to be, and they should not be challenged over it.

1. They should not be challenged over it because teaching is "hard" and there needs to be people in front of kids teaching them.

1. There needs to be people in front of kids teaching them so standards should be lower.

1. The lower standards should apply to "other people's kids" not their own.

1. But they don't teach and have no clue what they are talking about.

1. Teaching is easy and they could do it, but equally there are so few teachers that standards should be lower.

1. There is a teaching shortage - go ahead and train!

10. But I couldn't/don't want to do that...

Same argument for people who think there should be high behavioural standards in their children's school but when teachers enforce them, their child should be exempt.

Don't know why they all numbered as 1, except 10!!

Someone with thick skin would have laughed this off.

What he said was inappropriate and someone (your or a colleague) should have passed that on, but unless it's part of a wider pattern of behavior, that should have been the end of it.

I'm not sure how saying something out of pocket to an adult equates to not being fit to teach children, which seems to be what you're suggesting here. And your smugness seems to suggest that you're more interested in getting your desired outcome than the correct one.

Sorry teachers, looks like you are all on house confinement evenings and weekends. Any drinking, cavorting, fornication or thoughts of these with anyone will likely upset parents of schoolchildren and may cause vomiting, fainting and general upset. Perhaps tagging you may be best and sending emails every hour to all parents to beg forgiveness for having any life outside school and possibly having carnal thoughts on school premises.

She appears to have it straight. I haven’t had any issues understanding her story at all.

This doesn't constitute that. If he was to post racist comments on Facebook that's different. The ops child wasn't attending the school when he spoke to op in the nightclub. He hasn't broken any code of conduct. Did you read the post about her sil who is also a teacher and would grab men's balls when she's out.

Tilly - quite right!

Teanbiscuits - honestly? What if this man was the teacher of your children? You have no idea what he might have said to kids.

And yes, neither do we, and neither does OP, because they came on here anonymously, and there has been so much hatred towards her. They have every right to pursue what they want.

Well you've got a chip on your shoulder about something.

I'm surprised too. I don't normally mind a bit of spicy banter but I don't agree with those dismissing this guy's very specific comment as saying it's nothing to do with school... he literally said he had thoughts of bending OP over a SCHOOL desk!
So itabsolutely is a school matter and, as such, I would expect school to take it seriously. If he's had those thoughts about OP, there's every chance he's had/or may have them about pupils!

Then the sister is also under the teacher standards and could be held to personal conduct too.

She shouldn't change the "facts" of it then should she.

Really! Please do read them!

Then explain exactly which ones you don't fancy teachers upholding this week.

Please email your children's school and let your feelings be known to the head about which you'll let slide today.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/teachers-standards

1. Your child doesn't attend the school.
2. There's zero proof he said anything.

Nothing can possibly come of this.

The school won't care and they'll just assume you're deranged.

There is Zero, Zilch, Nada to say he would say anything to kids. Why are people making things up as they go along? The man made a sexual comment to a woman in a bar for God’s sake, it’s a massive leap to think he would involve kids. An adult man is allowed to find an adult woman attractive, albeit the way he expressed it could have been much, much better. What the fuck has it got to do with kids though!?

Sorry teachers, looks like you are all on house confinement evenings and weekends. Any drinking, cavorting, fornication or thoughts of these with anyone will likely upset parents of schoolchildren and may cause vomiting, fainting and general upset.

Forget the teacher element, the general minimising is unreal. Is it really hard to stop yourself from making inappropriate uninvited sexual comments to a stranger @Pedallleur?

Well done, SophieEll.

Pursue it as far as you need, you have recourse. Follow up in writing to the head, quote when you left the message and who took it. Keep a paper trail.

Teaching is a profession. There are standards.

How have the facts been altered?

If he reports her for sexual assault then yes. What she does in her spare time is none of there business. Like a previous poster said they didn't sign up to teach 24/7.

That really is quite a ridiculous assumption! The teacher fantasised about the OP in his workplace, and I’m sure quite a large proportion of us have either had similar fantasies or had actual sexual encounters in our workplaces. It really doesn’t follow that, because I really fancy one of the headteachers I work with and have had the odd fantasy about him, there is the remotest possibility that I will have fantasies about a child!

To what end? What outcome for the teacher do you think OP has any right to find out about?

Then I do WONDER why Part 2 bothers to exist...

There is Zero, Zilch, Nada to say he would say anything to kids. Why are people making things up as they go along? The man made a sexual comment to a woman in a bar for God’s sake, it’s a massive leap to think he would involve kids. An adult man is allowed to find an adult woman attractive, albeit the way he expressed it could have been much, much better. What the fuck has it got to do with kids though!?

But it wasn't any woman was it? It was the mother of a child he previously taught and referenced the school environment he taught in. At the very least it suggests a serious lack of judgement and stupidity which could potentially be worrying.

My father was a teacher. Back in the 1960's, when he was newly qualified, a parent made a complaint that his child has seen my dad drunk in a pub at 11pm.

He was summoned by the Headmaster to discuss it. My dad pointed out that a 15 year old child shouldn't have been in a pub at 11pm.

Checkmate.

Some sort of apology is the least they should get.

Fucking vile objectionable thing to say (the last line).