Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

Absolutely it should be. But the law doesn’t recognise it.

Minimise a sleazy chat up line. Are you that sensitive?

yes, given that I think both are vile. I said it’s not hate crimes, not that it shouldn’t be.

Its not "legislation" it is a set of standards or guidelines.

OP has selective reading 😃

Not true. And if you do, OP, don't accept that, it's woeful. Organisations will only do what people will let them get away with, espeially if people are ignorant of the legal standards.

Don't let them fob you off with, "I'm a headteacher, and I say..."

No, you are not above the law.

OP has every right to feel as they want to feel and not have their feelings minimised by you.

They literally can’t tell her details of what happened.

Oh I don’t know….the good old fashioned meeting someone who seemed nice and spoke to me respectfully, asked me about myself, discovered we had shared interests, went on some dates and things developed from there?
That creepy letch I’d never expressed any interest in who told me he’d imagined shagging me? Not so much.
If you are in a bar and you find someone attractive you look at them, maybe a smile, see if they look/smile back, read their signals and body language, know when to back off if they are giving off stay away vibes or don’t seem interested. If they do, maybe move a bit closer, make small talk, offer to buy them a drink, see what happens, if all is going well ask them if they fancy a dance. You know, the normal way?
This sort of behaviour it not about attraction. It’s about power.

And in the course of finding the nice guy you never met any whose approach wasn’t attractive to you?

I wish I could say that I wasn't surprised by some of the responses on this thread but it's the same old same old. The poster is the one that is ruining this man's career according to a fair few, totally ignoring the fact that this man said a grossly inappropriate thing.

My job is heavily defined by a code of conduct. How I behave, how I conduct myself at all times. If I say anything appropriate I could get into serious trouble. I.imagine teachers have a similar code.

I hope you get a proportionate and appropriate response OP. At the very least hopefully he will learn that saying stuff like that really isn't the way to behave.

You know they didnt ‘’’’investigate’? They could have asked the teacher about it, he could have confirmed it, then received some sort of consequence.
Who did you send your initial complaint to, and who replied?

Teachers only have to be teachers in school, they are just normal people when not at work.

She hasn't read the response properly he didn't say the teacher would be investigated. I don't know where the smugness comes from. There is no victory.

Op is like the woman Jacqui in Married at first site Australia season 12. She makes up her own narrative to suit herself.

OP had to listen to a man saying what he fantisised doing to them. They had no choice to hear it, there was no consent.

How do you know what's in OP's past? How do you know whether or not she might be triggered by hearing it? By hearing a man she didn't know say that about her?

It's disgusting.

Nope
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/teachers-standards

These standards set the minimum requirements for teachers’ practice and conduct.

Part 2: Personal and Professional Conduct

A teacher is expected to demonstrate consistently high standards of personal and
professional conduct. The following statements define the behaviour and attitudes which
set the required standard for conduct throughout a teacher’s career.
• Teachers uphold public trust in the profession and maintain high standards of
ethics and behaviour, within and outside school, by:
• treating pupils with dignity, building relationships rooted in mutual respect,
and at all times observing proper boundaries appropriate to a teacher’s
professional position
• having regard for the need to safeguard pupils’ well-being, in accordance
with statutory provisions
• showing tolerance of and respect for the rights of others
• not undermining fundamental British values, including democracy, the rule
of law, individual liberty and mutual respect, and tolerance of those with
different faiths and beliefs
• ensuring that personal beliefs are not expressed in ways which exploit
pupils’ vulnerability or might lead them to break the law.
• Teachers must have proper and professional regard for the ethos, policies and
practices of the school in which they teach, and maintain high standards in their
own attendance and punctuality.
• Teachers must have an understanding of, and always act within, the statutory
frameworks which set out their professional duties and responsibilities.

Are you okay?

And there is no law against what this Teacher did anyway

No, we aren't . We are teachers all the time and we are told this when we train.

I’d say if this is “real” , that op will go to the papers, when she doesn’t get what she wants from the school governors

the thing is op is on a hiding to nothing as she can’t prove what he said, even with her “friend “ being there, all he has to say is an older drunk parent of an ex pupil came onto him , he said no and now she’s trying to get him into trouble with the school and that is how it’s actually coming across

and before anyone says anything, I don’t agree with what he’s said

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/teachers-standards

A well reasoned response, IMO. People can not go around saying things like that.

At the very least a sensible head will meet with the man in question, explain the complaint and suggest he apologises for it.

If this school is "governed" by governers on this thread, I hope OP stands their ground and sytematically goes through the process until they get what they need to feel redress has beem met.

I daresay I know about this area more than you. This isn’t about me being sensitive.

Wow, I was never told this when I trained.
And if they did they never paid me nearly enough to be a teacher 24/7.

This thread and the first one are one of the most depressing and weird things I’ve read on mumsnet. Page after page of women leaping to defend a hideous, unprofessional creep of a TEACHER who told a parent he was thinking about her sexually in front of their child at parents evening. Nasty, belittling comments at the OP who has the audacity not to giggle coquettishly and be flattered. For fucks sake, what have I just read?

Pursue your complaint OP, I would do the same. The thought of a man like that teaching my daughter makes me want to vomit, but maybe not everyone has the same standards.

Neither was I.