Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

No

They aren't

Again on the original post where voting buttons were enabled

2817 votes cast 90% of people thought the OP was being unreasonable

I equate an adult in an adult situation making a lewd comment to another adult as equal with an adult doing anything adult yes

It's totally correct procedure but will she accept that?

Christ on a bike. I am a school governor. Our chair would do exactly the same thing - respond promptly, consult with the head and then tell you they won't be doing anything further. This is just a ridiculous waste of school resources.

So what? I know that many women minimise disgusting behaviour of men. I don’t understand why you are quoting the poll results at me? I know I am in a minority on this thread.

FWIW I don’t think the OP is expressing herself well here or to the school. But I agree with her in finding this creep’s behaviour unacceptable.

He was talking about a meeting he had had with her in a professional capacity, and it would be much worse if she were a current parent but I'm struggling to see why people don't see this as inappropriate. It's not remotely the same as being seen buying alcohol or condoms. There are standards of conduct that teachers should uphold. Drinking alcohol and having sex are irrelevant. Telling someone with whom you had a professional conversation about their child that you were fantasising about having sex while doing so is, at the very least, questionable and could, arguably, bring the profession into disrepute. Someone needs to tell him that.

It’s quite interesting that nobody has commented on this document. Government guidelines from the Department for education on how teachers should behave outside of school. I wonder why…

This is hilarious
Do you actually think any of this fantasy scenario is going to happen?

@SophEll why not just wind your neck in? You’re very pompous and tiresome with your generalisations about “trends in the teaching profession”, like you’d even know anything about those.

Agree. Someone senior at his school needs to have a chat with him. And probably discuss it at his annual appraisal. Nothing more is really needed at this stage.

Thankyou @TulipCat 👏👏
Good to hear schools have common sense and aren’t, as you say, wasting time and money over this sort of nonsense.

I love the spin on here from some posters. Yes 90 percent voted unreasonable.......that this got escalated to school officials

Not one person posting thought it was OK!!

I'm certainly not defending him or his sleeziness, just how it's been handled.

I see some posts calling people vile personal names for not agreeing have been rightfully removed.

Calling folk vile names really is the way forward for feminism and freedom of speech eh? Some great double standards there

I fear this isn't her first rodeo! Something tells me she was a prolific complainer to the school when her child was there.

Because if every teacher took that as literally as OP and a few others on this thread we’d have no teachers.

Apparently we haven’t stopped witch-hunts, judging by the way some of you are treating the OP

Got it. Shopping = comment to former pupil’s mother regarding performing a sex act in school while child was present 👌

He totally abused his professional relationship with the OP by imagining bending her over the table when he should have been giving her effective feedback on her child’s progress.

Now, luckily, thoughts are still free, but if you are stupid (and rude) enough to tell the person that that is what you were thinking, even years later, you have admitted to being unprofessional when the OP was a parent at the school.

And, what if the OP tells current parents, which she has every right to do? Would you look forward to the next feedback session with this teacher?

As an ex private school teacher, we were made to stick to very high standards of behaviour, even outside school (obviously in public, not in private) and teachers lost their jobs for a lot less than that. I can’t vouch for whether they are more relaxed in the state sector, but I doubt it.

She’s certainly someone who thrives on drama and needs lots of attention.

That’s not what happened either.
Why are people exaggerating what actually happened.

Goodness me. Now teachers can’t even think about anything other than what they should be thinking whilst working at school.

Stop the clocks…..
all you teachers who don’t like a certain kid or parent or even colleague…..Stop thinking those things…..
The think police will get you sacked and shamed 🤣🤣🤣

Yes it is. See OP’s later comment in that thread clarifying that he was referring to a parents’ evening while her DC was there.

Maybe he was referencing some kind of pilates-type activity.

Posters on this thread really show why there are so many entitled males who take no accountability for their shitty behaviour, and such a rise in misogyny in this country.

Women berating a woman for daring to speak out. Do you really think just telling this prick to get lost at the time of the event will make any difference to his future attitude? Where’s the line? Saying it to a colleague? A current parent? A former pupil? A current pupil? Letting comments like this go will could lead to more boundaries being pushed.

His inappropriate and misogynistic attitude that no doubt filters in other parts of his life too. Teenagers already see huge amounts of misogynistic messaging every day on social media, they don’t need adults in positions of power normalising the behaviour too. And being drunk is not an excuse.

Well done OP Nothing may come of it, but even if he is spoken to about a complaint being made against him, it may make him think twice, which is what more men need to do!

Or yoga

It's getting popular