to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

[Perimama]

Hi, a good friend of mine asked me if my teen wanted to cat sit for her while she was abroad for 10 days over Easter. My teen said yes and we assumed that it would be paid as I know she has paid other teens in the past. She lives a 5-10 min drive away so I drove my teen twice a day for 10 days to feed her cats and take care of some other house sitting stuff. She is now back from the trip and has sent a text message thanking me and my teen but no mention of pay. I wish I had asked before she went! My teen is 15 and keen to earn extra money which is why she accepted this job. Would you bring it up to the friend? I feel very awkward about it! Her teen pet sit for us a year or so ago and I left her some money in an envelope.

If I were you I’d get your DD to ask her. It will be good for her to build confidence and these awkward situations do come up in life so best to get used to it early. My mum and dad always made me do stuff like this myself and while at the time I hated them for it, now I’m really glad they did.

You should send her the message about your teen being glad to have made some cash before meeting her tomorrow.

that way you won’t need to actually have that talk face to face (seems easier for conflict avoidant people) AND it will give your friend the chance to save face and simply give you some cash tomorrow.

If she doesn’t mention it have your DDs account number and sort code on a post it and say ‘oh before I forget DD is looking forward to spending her cat sitting money this weekend here are her bank details’. Don’t be awkward about it just make it clear she needs to pay.

I can’t believe you drove her 10 mins twice a day for this… is DD paying you petrol money?

Or as @PumpkinsAndCoconuts says send it her before ‘oh I’ll probably forget to pass these along tomorrow when we meet so here are DDs bank details’. Simples

I think that if she doesn’t pay I would no longer view her as a friend. Twenty visits which necessitated driving there for free would make her a real CF.
My daughter was paid £5 per day by a neighbour and she only needed to walk a few minutes there and back once a day. The neighbour said it was worth it to her as she knew the cat and her home were ok due to daily visits. ( obviously if anything had gone wrong I would have been in hand and we would have contacted her if necessary).

I think with all these things - they need establishing before the work/favour is undertaken rather than afterwards.
Something should have been said like: Oh that's great my teen has been looking for paid work - how much will you be paying her ?- Before the task not after. This would give her the opp to say: oh I thought you'd do it for free and you could say no, or she could suggest a price. Things need to be clarified before hand. She might have thought it was a free favour...
Has she done you any big favours recently where she might think you owe her?? Fo example - if I'd done some 'free' work for someone that would have cost then £150 quid and then they'd fed my cat - I would not have expected to pay for the cat care . But when friends offer my teens work they say - it's x amount of hours babysitting for say £25 & snacks then it's clear.

Seeing her on Friday is perfect excuse to innocently text and say 'Are you bringing cash on Friday for x's cat-sitting, or did you want her bank details?'.

@DeathStare post is good - to the point but very polite and could in no way cause a drama. What isn't so good is you being flaky and letting your DD down by not just facing an awkward situation head on. Text her, call her - whatever, but don't just leave it to chance on Friday and then be all irritated when the money doesn't materialise. And please teach your daughter to be more assertive and guide her next time to have an upfront conversation about what she charges and arrangements she's 15 and old enough to take responsibility for a conversation if she can be trusted with a living creature for 10 days!

Message her your teen’s bank details for the payment. Just say he’s the info to make the payment. See you soon

You are also in the wrong here for modelling poor behaviour to your teen. If you are too shy to discuss money for work in advance (and afterwards) then how will your teen grasp how to ? You need to discuss this with teen and explain where you went wrong in making assumptions, not discussing the rate of pay, etc so they don't make the same mistakes and apologise to them for not showing them how to be confident in dealing with these things head on

I would find this awkward too and would possibly not raise it if the money was for me, just chalk it down to experience.

But I would feel indignant on my child's behalf if the friend doesn't mention payment, so would feel I had to raise the issue over coffee. It was no small favour really, considering you had to drive your child to her house each visit.

Why would you not check beforehand?

As a cat owner, I couldn’t imagine treating a friend’s kid like this. I’d pay a tenner a day for 2 visits. I pay my cat sitter £12 a day for 2 short in and out visits and £10 per longer visit and I think that’s very fair.

Text and say

“Hi friend, this is a bit awkward, but I had assumed that as my arrangement with your DD was to leave some money for pet sitting, there might be something similar for my DD for watching your cat? Please could you let me know?”

If no mention of payment happened before she left then I don't see why you would be expecting any money.
She asked if she would like to cat sit, your daughter said yes, she never asked if she would be paid, she wasn't offered money, you are good friends so I would presume she was doing it as your friends.

I am expecting it as I paid her teen to pet sit for us. And she pays other teens. She didn't ask me about payment for her teen in advance but of course I paid her. I would never not compensate a teen for their time. I perhaps wrongly assumed she would be the same. I won't make that assumption again.

Yes or - x couldn’t see the envelope for her cat-sitting wages when she was round, sorry! If you give it to me tmoro I’ll pass it on to her. See you then!

Why not text a breezy

”just btw, [DD name] just asked me to remind you about some cash for the cat-sitting”.

or something like that. Now it’s not you asking, it’s her!!!

Probably hasn’t occurred to her to pay, I like the comment above saying DD enjoyed earning some cash and loved your cat, perfect.

in future something best to iron out beforehand.

Agree.
if you value this friendship I’d drop this.
Bung your dd some money.
I agree with pp - she asked your daughter as she did NOT want to pay the teen on the street who she paid last time.
she was after a freeby - probably thought your dd liked cats or something.
The time be bright and breezy was then.
‘Sure, but she’ll want twenty quid - roll eyes - you know teenagers…,,,are you sure you want to pay that .,,, don’t you know anyone who do it for free? ‘
up to her to squirm then…..

I'd do this too.

You nailed it!!

Just text or even better call her and say’ just a reminder to say you seem to have forgotten to pay my DD for her cat sitting service so will you bring the cash tomorrow/if you don’t have the amount in cash her bank details are —////—-. Better to call because it’s harder to bullshit you when actually speaking in person.

This

'Bobby loved your cats! Did you want his bank details?'

20 visits with no payment is a total cheeky fucker piss take. I’d give her the benefit of the doubt until you see her next time and if no payment is forthcoming, I’d just directly say: could you pay DD for the cat sitting soon please?