to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

[Perimama]

Hi, a good friend of mine asked me if my teen wanted to cat sit for her while she was abroad for 10 days over Easter. My teen said yes and we assumed that it would be paid as I know she has paid other teens in the past. She lives a 5-10 min drive away so I drove my teen twice a day for 10 days to feed her cats and take care of some other house sitting stuff. She is now back from the trip and has sent a text message thanking me and my teen but no mention of pay. I wish I had asked before she went! My teen is 15 and keen to earn extra money which is why she accepted this job. Would you bring it up to the friend? I feel very awkward about it! Her teen pet sit for us a year or so ago and I left her some money in an envelope.

That’s what I would do. I would just say btw this is her account and total. We live in London and pay my daughter’s friend £15 a day to come twice to feed and play with them a little bit.

It isn’t anything to do with rate per hour though. It is going rate payment for a service and age has nothing to do with it. Round my way a professional cat sitter charges £12 per visit but she does a lot more than just feeding the cats such as sorting post, watering plants which we don’t need. We agreed £15 for 2 visits for my daughter’s friend as she lives closeby. I wouldn’t pay her any less than that as it wouldn’t be fair.

My dd who was 16 was only asking £5 a day for 3 visits a day for 5 cats and my friend decided to find someone who'd do it for free. We lived in the same road.

Teenagers obviously wouldn't have insurance and the other overheads that a person doing it professionally would have.

Lol because they are making it up. They won't give the name of the company and no viable business would feed your cat, play with your cat, empty and take out bins, turn lights on and off, tidy up, water plants and feed fish, petrol and travel time for £10 a visit. And even if they have somehow found a charity that provides this service for peanuts, its irrelevant, cat sitters do not charge that little. And theyve referred to op as money grabby for wanting her daughter to charge the going rate.

Thank goodness I have friends and family who don’t take the pee.

I would get your teen to message her & say “here are my BACS details I prefer a transfer as I will just spend it too quickly if I have cash & am keen to save. Thanks so much & let me know if you need help in the future.”

How rude. A text prompt is required.

Say nothing. See what happens. It will be a lesson one way or another

I pay £15 a day for a sitter to visit once a day to feed my cats when I'm away and my daughter can't do it. I also gift my daughter a £50 Amazon gift voucher whenever she does it. If you can afford a holiday,you can afford to pay for the cats to be fed. Your friend seems very mean.

Absolutely not unreasonable!! We accidentally got a rescue cat just under 18 months ago and I was loath to send him to a cattery when we went away as I thought he would feel abandoned again! Asked around and found out that local professional cat sitters charge around £14 a day to come in twice and feed/play with your cat! We decided the best thing to do was to ask my teen daughter’s friend to cat sit for us and we pay her £8 a day. For that she comes in morning and evening, feeds and changes water bowl for the cat, plays with him, empties litter if needed, and feeds the two rabbits we have in the garden. She loves earning the money, and for me it means that I don’t feel bad asking her as it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. I would never expect someone to do this for free!

Tbh it does sound like she might have been expecting your daughter to do it for free, possibly even because she thought she'd like to do it as a favour, or would enjoy playing with the cat?? And also likely, because she trusts your family and wanted to save money. Either way, I think its completely reasonable on your part to have an expectation of payment, especially when she's talked of paying other teens. She may well be planning to use this opportunity of meeting you though to give you something for your daughter? If she doesn't, I would front it up and say, look I'm sorry if this was a misunderstanding but we really did expect this would be on the basis of payment, and my daughter did it on good faith on this basis, as she's actively looking for jobs of this kind. Sending bank details without talking about it seems to be a popular choice on here but wouldnt really be my style. Good luck OP, I hope you resolve it x

It’s tight of your friend not to pay for cat sitting, but if she never mentioned it and you never asked it seems unreasonable to ask for payment now. I’d chalk it up as a lesson learned

Next time tell the girl to investigate local market rates for this service and charge accordingly, requiring an up-front deposit and prompt payment. Including the cost of commuting.

Hmm. A professional offering this service will have insurance, pay Income Tax and NIC and poss Corporation Tax too. Half the going rate for a teenager is more than fair.

Also doing favours for friends and family is part of the grease that keeps society moving freely. When she was a teenager my DD's friend's dad repaired her smashed phone screen for just the cost of the replacement screen - significantly less than it would have cost her to get it mended in a shop. Are you suggesting he should have charged her for his time and expertise?

So many posts here asserting that it’s ok and even financially savvy to undervalue and underpay young women. Because they should be thrilled and happy at the opportunity to be of help. Pretty appalling.

Then people scream and moan about how “women’s jobs” like caregiving and teaching pay less than “men’s jobs.” Gee, where do you think that baseline is set?

So women are to undervalue themselves in order to keep society lubricated?

Did the phone friend voluntarily offer a discount, or were they expected / assumed by you to provide the service for less than market rate? There’s a difference.

How silly. If teenagers want professional incomes then they need to arm themselves with the relevant skills and experience and pay the necessary tax and insurance bills. Or they could get a regular salaried job.
Expecting casual cash in hand work for unskilled teenagers to pay the same as an experienced professional would charge is daft.

See what I mean??

You’ve made my point.

Are you joking? What world do you live in!!! Paying a 14yo £8 to walk 2 mins down the road and commit about 30 minutes of her time is undervaluing her? Jog on 🙄

I don't understand why we are suddenly looking at this as a feminist issue - it's about whether a teenager should be paid for helping out a family friend. Gender hasn't come into it at all. And at no point did I suggest anyone should undervalue themselves.

No of course not, he offered to help

To be clear I don't think op is unreasonable in expecting her daughter to be paid something for all that work (though clearly they should have established that up front).

10 days, twice a day. How on earth this 'friend' doesn't think this requires some sort of monetary 'gift' is beyond me. What a pisstaker! 😡

She gave her 100£!!

people need to read the updates

That made me laugh far too much

Im glad DD got some money but tbh it doesn’t make sense for a teenager to take on a twice daily job that she needs to be driven to . She has your friend to use as a referee but needs to look for local jobs in future that she can walk or cycle to.

Unless your daughter has public liability insurance, business insurance and is a registered business then she’s not entitled to get paid

You’re right. All teenagers have this without exception. Glad you’re here to point that out 😒