to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

[Perimama]

Hi, a good friend of mine asked me if my teen wanted to cat sit for her while she was abroad for 10 days over Easter. My teen said yes and we assumed that it would be paid as I know she has paid other teens in the past. She lives a 5-10 min drive away so I drove my teen twice a day for 10 days to feed her cats and take care of some other house sitting stuff. She is now back from the trip and has sent a text message thanking me and my teen but no mention of pay. I wish I had asked before she went! My teen is 15 and keen to earn extra money which is why she accepted this job. Would you bring it up to the friend? I feel very awkward about it! Her teen pet sit for us a year or so ago and I left her some money in an envelope.

"I just realised I forgot to send you DC's bank details for payment! It's:
Name
Sort code
Account number

Cheers"

Can you just send a text and say your DD has asked when she is getting paid as she wants to put the money aside to save for holidays etc.

We give our teenager neighbour £70 a week for keeping an eye on our cat. She only has to pop in once a day because cat has a dry food dispenser and insists on only drinking pond or river water!

I like the suggestion to send a text saying Hiya! Sorry, I forgot to send you DDs bank details.

For goodness sake OP, just send a text today.

You are saying money is tight, but would rather compensate your dd - and be out of pocket - than confront this head on with a text 'btw friend, how do you prefer to pay dd for the 10 days of cat sitting? Ofc she will be very happy with cash, but I can send bank details too if easier for you. See you tomorrow!

Nobody likes awkwardness, but you need to advocate for your dd's commitment to your friend and her cats. Not shirk away because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I would text in advance and say “do you want us to pop round to pick up DD’s payment for pet sitting or if we are meeting on Friday perhaps you could bring it then?”

I’d do this, but add, ‘let me now if you need her bank details to pay her…’

Why don't you try messaging
"Hi Marion
Looking forward to seeing you on Friday.
Just a quick ask, can you bring Betty's cat sitting money when we meet - she's got her eye on some stuff she wants and is keen to order/go and get it!
Mary x

Definitely send a te t before you meet.
Very rude that she hasn't paid her already.

Spell out that tou drove and it was 20 trips.
I baby sat for a women who never had money on her, always had to call back, it bugged me.

As soon as another regular gig fell into my lap I was too busy.
None of my friends would do it so she was often stuck.

Basic manners to pay up promptly.

In the nicest possible way, you need to sort this out properly for your DD sake, it’s not fair to keep her hanging because you feel awkward and are dithering about it. It’s not DD’s fault that you didn’t confirm payment before agreeing to this. Take a deep breath and text your friend today, or if you are too scared to ask then just give your DD the cash instead.

Always ask first regards to payment, with no mention about money, she more than likely will not pay.

Good idea to send a cheery text TODAY asking how she'd like to pay. Much easier than leaving it until tomorrow - if she hasn't got the cash on her, or dodges the issue but you've left it until the end of your meet, you're no further forward and it'll be even more awkward.

I would message beforehand and say something like

hi friend, I’m looking forward to seeing you Friday! Is it easier for you to give the pet sitting money for dd on Friday or would you rather bank transfer her? I’ll send the details if bank transfer easier. Can’t wait to hear all about your holiday! See you soon x

Just send a text saying do you want me to get teenager to send her bank details for cat sitting payment transfer or does she want to bring cash to the coffee meet up tomorrow. That way it definitely implys she’s expecting payment and you don’t have to stress asking over coffee. Be bold. You are in the right.

The time to ask was before the cat sitting started. Especially when you've done it free in the past. Your friend is mean though. I wouldn't bother with her in future.

If the cat owner had had to go away suddenly because of a family crisis/ sudden death/ funeral then maybe the OP could be understanding and flexible and view it as a favour to a friend. But the cat owner went away on holiday and I am pretty certain the hotel/ air B and B owner/ booking agent all expected payment, in advance. Paying for cat sitting is part of the expense of going away as the cat owner well knows because she has paid for it before. Giving her a freebie is simply not an option or fair to the OPs daughter.

DD has done pet sitting for years and money is always agreed up front
Maybe your friend forgot or maybe she is a CF, either way keep asking for the money

I know you feel a bit awkward but you need to be assertive on your daughter’s behalf. Just ask her when she intends to pay DD.
And if you and DD pet sit again, ask upfront how much she’s paying! Good luck.

she's trying to get away with getting it for free

Speak face to face op.on Friday it's much better than texting.

Quite apart from anything else, what kind of CF lets ANYONE, even a ‘good friend’, feed their cat twice a day, having to drive a significant distance there and back, for 10 days, and not immediately offer them ANY kind of token of thanks, even a petrol-station box of chocs? I’d be ashamed of myself for being so ungrateful.

I don’t think this is as good a friend as OP thinks and I’d also be inclined to think that zero recompense was being contemplated for DD’s services, I’m afraid.

She's not a good friend if she treats you and your daughter like mugs. If she doesn't offer the money I would hope you'd discontinue the friendship and tell her why.

Yes this is exactly what I would do. No hinting or asking, just a bright and breezy expectation of payment and does she want teen's bank details or will she be bringing the cash on Friday.

She would have to have the brassiest of all brass necks to not pay after that. A text avoids the face to face awkwardness (though she is the one who should feel awkward not you) and gives her a comfortable way of saying "oh yes I was just about to ask you" or "yep no worries I have planned to stop by the cash point before we meet".

If she asks for pet sitting again, agree the sum or rate up front. If she is scatter brained as you say, rather than a CF, she should be fine with that.

£15 per visit - Thats a good rate

To be honest I think you should have discussed it beforehand! You can't ask for money now!

It should have been like this:
friend: Hi will X cat sit for our cats?
you: oh yes sure, when are you away?
friend: monday to thursday
you: yeah that's fine, how about £50

etc

If you are meeting her on Friday I would text her on Friday with the hint mentioned above. Less awkward than having to raise it face to face and if she had every intention of paying no harm done.
This one experience will stand both you and DD in good stead for further casual employment opportunities while she is studying ...like babysitting for instance. Some people are very generous but some people take terrible advantage. From now on she will always discuss payment up front. A good life lesson learnt 💐