to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

[Perimama]

Hi, a good friend of mine asked me if my teen wanted to cat sit for her while she was abroad for 10 days over Easter. My teen said yes and we assumed that it would be paid as I know she has paid other teens in the past. She lives a 5-10 min drive away so I drove my teen twice a day for 10 days to feed her cats and take care of some other house sitting stuff. She is now back from the trip and has sent a text message thanking me and my teen but no mention of pay. I wish I had asked before she went! My teen is 15 and keen to earn extra money which is why she accepted this job. Would you bring it up to the friend? I feel very awkward about it! Her teen pet sit for us a year or so ago and I left her some money in an envelope.

You need to ask those things clearly when making the arrangement. Personally I would pay a teenager and if I was asking an adult neighbour as a favour, I'd buy them a gift. It is a bit awkward to ask after the fact.

£10 a day is amazing. Our next door neighbour's daughter fed twice a day, cleaned litter and played with our cat for two weeks and we gave her £20. She didn't need to drive and we take care if their menagerie when they go away so it was just a token, a previous time we got her a Toblerone with her name on.

Sorry, I also think she got good money that's a totally appropriate amount and you are grabby now.

£10 a day really is not amazing. The teenager had to make 2x visits per day and also some stuff around the home as well as cleaning litter and playing with the cats and feeding/changing water bowls etc. It was also not close by!

I didn't respond to the poll as it's not a case of you being reasonable or unreasonable.
However, I would let it go this time as this should have been clarified right at the start. If she asks your teen to pet sit again then at that point you can negotiate payment.
Perhaps she's thinking of returning the favour by petsitting for you next?

Everyone is different and she may see her friendship to you differently to the others she has.

This is a super awkward situation. I don’t think your friend should expect your teen to do it for free - especially not when you’ve had to also spend time taking them there to facilitate it. We’re all happy to drive our kids to their ‘jobs’ to encourage them - but it takes the pee if a friend then doesn’t pay.

I watered a neighbours plants and garden for 3 weeks having to go through the house and I never really got a thanks. My other neighbour and I always gift each other something from our holiday like fudge or biscuits when we take care of each others pets / plants.

I’d never ask a teen to do a job without paying them or giving them a gift to say thanks. It’s not fair and it’ll just teach them not to agree to do it in future.

£100 seems reasonable. I think the issue is that it wasn't close and had to driver her there twice a day. The point of getting a teenager is so that it's cheaper!

That’s such a piss take unless the neighbour has reciprocated by looking after your pets etc. Even so, she should have given the boys something. Some people are so blinkered to how much of your time it takes to go round and take care of their pets. If your boys hadn’t been available she’d have had to pay a sitter at least £20
a day. Don’t do it next time.

There is no going rate for favours for friends surely, and there aren't any "clients" involved here- unless your 15 year old teenager has somehow set up a registered business and is properly insured to enter 'client's' homes and care for their pets then it's all a bit daft surely - this is simply a cash in hand job for a child to do, same as washing a car or similar.

If you've decided on a specific rate then that needs to have been negotiated beforehand. It will have been apparent beforehand where she lived in relation to you and it's up to you to decide whether that works out on an all-in basis (including the petrol and time you spent) as being something you are willing to do or to work out whether it is actually worthwhile - nobody was forced into this.

As they're 15 then presumably it won't be long until they can get a salaried job to earn money so I wouldn't place too much importance on any of it any further than there already has been, she has been paid, notes for next time.

That's plenty. And to be honest, I wouldn't have been giving lifts. Surely a 5 min drive is walkable for a teenager? Why do people expect professional amounts of money for casual cash in hand teenager jobs? If they want more than a bit of pocket money, the need an actual job.

Thank you for so graciously pointing that out.
Do please accept my sincerest apologies for missing OP's update.
So very sorry to have upset your weekend.

She should have made it clear when asking - a lump sum or so much per day.
We pay a neighbour’s teen dd to water pots and refill bird feeders when away, but are very clear about the daily rate and dh usually gives her half in advance,

I would not say that as cash was not part of any discussions so a bit strange to wedge it in like that.

When you meet up with your friend perhaps mention that your daughter is looking for odd jobs like cat sitting or dog walking for some pocket money

Learn to be awkward up front
Next time you get asked:
"I'm sure she would, it's £20 a day for 2 visits"

Why do people expect professional amounts of money for casual cash in hand teenager jobs? If they want more than a bit of pocket money, the need an actual job. Yeah, agree with this.

I think the water is muddied, so to speak, by the fact that this is a friend and there's an element of doing favours for each other and the fact that your DD is a teenager, not an adult. Professional pet carers can charge more, are subject to higher standards/liability and it seems rates vary.
As a teenager I would be pleased with £100. She can negotiate a better rate next time if she wants to do it again (doesn't seem too taxing or time consuming tbh!) or ask for a travel allowance for buses or your petrol

Why would she do that? She's already done cat sitting and been paid well.

No need, mate. No need.

Glad she got paid, I think £100 is fair enough price for doing that as a teen.

It does sound like she thought your daughter was now old enough to cat sit without having to pay someone but I'd be absolutely demanding petrol money (I'd pass onto her) at a minimum

our dog goes to the most amazing sitter - fully insured, licensed etc for £15 for 24 hours. I live in an expensive part of the uk. £10 a visit is crazy money to me!

Well, you can ask for payment but frankly she doesn't have to give it. Though if I was her of course I would have arranged it with you up front. So it's partly your daughter's fault for not being assertive and saying 'how much are you paying' or stating how much she charges.

If she wants to do pet sitting it would be good to consider what she would consider acceptable pay. And stick to that.

This woman seems pretty tight if she has paid others before though?

£5 a visit sounds absolutely fine to me. My teen's been working at above NMW since 16 and I think she'd be happy with that.

I see the help I give to my teen with lifts etc as something I give for free, not something my friend would need to pay my teenager for.

I think if you paid her teen to look after your pets last year, surely she will be paying your daughter - as long as she is aware that you did so?

Oops sorry, I see this is now resolved!