Page 10 | to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

Perimama · 2025-05-01T00:04:23+00:00

Hi, a good friend of mine asked me if my teen wanted to cat sit for her while she was abroad for 10 days over Easter. My teen said yes and we assumed that it would be paid as I know she has paid other teens in the past. She lives a 5-10 min drive away so I drove my teen twice a day for 10 days to feed her cats and take care of some other house sitting stuff. She is now back from the trip and has sent a text message thanking me and my teen but no mention of pay. I wish I had asked before she went! My teen is 15 and keen to earn extra money which is why she accepted this job. Would you bring it up to the friend? I feel very awkward about it! Her teen pet sit for us a year or so ago and I left her some money in an envelope.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/05/2025 15:33

That’s really good news. I hope it was a good amount!

Original poster

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:41

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/05/2025 15:33

That’s really good news. I hope it was a good amount!

She gave her £10 a day (£100 in total). I don't think that is a lot for 2 visits a day with travel but teen was happy enough with it. I will make sure she sets her terms next time. I think £10 a visit is more appropriate if the house is not in our neighbourhood.

OP posts:

WombatStewForTea · 02/05/2025 15:45

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:41

She gave her £10 a day (£100 in total). I don't think that is a lot for 2 visits a day with travel but teen was happy enough with it. I will make sure she sets her terms next time. I think £10 a visit is more appropriate if the house is not in our neighbourhood.

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I actually think for a teen that's decent. Unless it cost her loads to get there? Professional cat sitters near us charge £20 a day.

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 15:49

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:41

She gave her £10 a day (£100 in total). I don't think that is a lot for 2 visits a day with travel but teen was happy enough with it. I will make sure she sets her terms next time. I think £10 a visit is more appropriate if the house is not in our neighbourhood.

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For £20 a day we get a professional pet care company coming in to see to our cat when we're away. They don't just feed her but spend time with her, play with her, groom her and feed our fish too. I wouldn't be paying a teenager the same price as a professional carer especially considering the child is just feeding the cat. £100 is a decent amount considering you were also partly doing it as a favour for a friend. Op, tbh you sound very money orientated and a bit grabby. You don't charge friends the going rate.

Original poster

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:50

WombatStewForTea · 02/05/2025 15:45

I actually think for a teen that's decent. Unless it cost her loads to get there? Professional cat sitters near us charge £20 a day.

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It's just about ok for a teen but where we live professional cat sitters do it for £20 a visit. My dd is almost 16 and is did it for £5 a visit is a bargain in comparison! Anyway she was happy to be paid but I think £10 visit is a fairer rate.

OP posts:

Original poster

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:52

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 15:49

For £20 a day we get a professional pet care company coming in to see to our cat when we're away. They don't just feed her but spend time with her, play with her, groom her and feed our fish too. I wouldn't be paying a teenager the same price as a professional carer especially considering the child is just feeding the cat. £100 is a decent amount considering you were also partly doing it as a favour for a friend. Op, tbh you sound very money orientated and a bit grabby. You don't charge friends the going rate.

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She wasn't just feeding the cat. She was playing with them, cleaning the litter box, opening and closing curtains and turning on lights to make it less obvious no one was home, watering indoor and outdoor plants, taking out and bringing the bins on bin day and bringing in post. The going rate here is £20 a visit. I thought £10 a visit for a teen would be fair. I disagree that is grabby but I didn't ask for that this time, I am just suggesting that my teen asks for £10 a visit in the future for other clients.

OP posts:

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 16:17

Yes, well my pet company do all that too. You must live somewhere very expensive because we have quality care at £10.75 per visit. I think £200 is a lot to pay a teenager to do those jobs. So you may find your friend agreees and prefers to pay a professional company next time. I think £100 is sufficient but clearly you don't so just get your teenager to speak up and ask for more next time, before she does the jib.

PassingStranger · 02/05/2025 16:31

? You saw her today didn't you?

viques · 02/05/2025 17:23

PassingStranger · 02/05/2025 16:31

? You saw her today didn't you?

Gosh yes, read the update, OP challenged her and asked for the money , cat woman threw a hissy, screamed and ranted, tipped over the table, rushed out into the street and was flattened by a trainee bus driver . Best update to a thread ever. Shame you missed it.

TheHerboriste · 02/05/2025 17:44

Perimama · 02/05/2025 15:41

She gave her £10 a day (£100 in total). I don't think that is a lot for 2 visits a day with travel but teen was happy enough with it. I will make sure she sets her terms next time. I think £10 a visit is more appropriate if the house is not in our neighbourhood.

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I agree. My former pet sitter who now visits my house to fill the outdoor bird feeders and check on things when I travel charges £20 per single visit. More if she visits and walks multiple times in a day.

When I had a woman move in to care for my small dogs when I traveled, I paid her £100 per night, plus food, snacks, spa stuff, etc. It amazes me how people try to be so cheap when it comes to the care of their beloved pets.

TheHerboriste · 02/05/2025 17:50

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 15:49

For £20 a day we get a professional pet care company coming in to see to our cat when we're away. They don't just feed her but spend time with her, play with her, groom her and feed our fish too. I wouldn't be paying a teenager the same price as a professional carer especially considering the child is just feeding the cat. £100 is a decent amount considering you were also partly doing it as a favour for a friend. Op, tbh you sound very money orientated and a bit grabby. You don't charge friends the going rate.

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What utter and complete hogwash.

SO, so fucking tired of women being told to "be nice" and devalue themselves, to allow friends and family to walk all over them and expect their labour for free. What a horrible lesson that would be for this young girl.

The teen was performing a service. Not doing a favour. Why on earth should she be expected to do it for free or for a pittance?

Do commercial pet sitters do it to "be kind"? No. Pet owners need to factor the cost of care into their budget, not expect people to jump through hoops to accommodate them free of charge so that they can come and go as they please.

Telling young women they should offer their time and effort for free is just so counterproductive, obnoxious and toxic. Right when she needs to learn to put a value on herself and her labour instead of being compliant and "nice."

Next time tell the girl to investigate local market rates for this service and charge accordingly, requiring an up-front deposit and prompt payment. Including the cost of commuting.

Poppyseeds79 · 02/05/2025 18:14

£100 is decent money but OP was providing 4 lifts a day to enable it too. I think if teen has had to factor in 4 bus journeys and travel time with that then it'd have looked less appealing.

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 18:32

@TheHerboriste
I can't be bothered with your "hogwash", read my post again. I didn't suggest the child should be kind or be nice. I just don't think a kid, FEMALE OR MALE should be squeezing as much cash as possible from a family friend. I even said the child should speak up and learn to advocate for herself so she csn negotiate payment herself - the absolute opposite of be kind. Pet sitters don't do it for free but at least you're getting a professional adult providing that service.

TheHerboriste · 02/05/2025 18:45

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 18:32

@TheHerboriste
I can't be bothered with your "hogwash", read my post again. I didn't suggest the child should be kind or be nice. I just don't think a kid, FEMALE OR MALE should be squeezing as much cash as possible from a family friend. I even said the child should speak up and learn to advocate for herself so she csn negotiate payment herself - the absolute opposite of be kind. Pet sitters don't do it for free but at least you're getting a professional adult providing that service.

Charging market rate for a valuable service is NOT "squeezing as much cash as possible from a family friend." How utterly absurd and backward.

The idea that she should charge less than the norm because of is so incredibly toxic. Don't train girls to be taken advantage of in the name of being "friends" or "being kind."

TheHerboriste · 02/05/2025 18:46

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 18:32

@TheHerboriste
I can't be bothered with your "hogwash", read my post again. I didn't suggest the child should be kind or be nice. I just don't think a kid, FEMALE OR MALE should be squeezing as much cash as possible from a family friend. I even said the child should speak up and learn to advocate for herself so she csn negotiate payment herself - the absolute opposite of be kind. Pet sitters don't do it for free but at least you're getting a professional adult providing that service.

Why do you think negotiating on her own behalf is "the opposite of be kind." Do you think there is something unkind about advocating for fair treatment for oneself???

ColdWaterDipper · 02/05/2025 18:51

I feel your pain - our (only) neighbour up the lane, asked my boys (12 & 10) if they wanted to earn a bit of pocket money popping in on her dog twice a day before & after school while she was on holiday for 10 days. Her adult son was there overnight but works long hours so the agreement was for my boys to pop in and take the dog for a walk before and after school or play with it in the garden plus feed it in the mornings (her son did the evenings). In reality this meant I also had to go along, unlock and lock up their house and I watered the garden while the boys walked the little dog. They loved doing it, and were eagerly
looking forward to their pocket money (they were only hoping for about £20-30 each). However when she came back, she popped over to say thank you very much and that was it, no money, nothing. The boys were very disappointed, but they had enjoyed looking after the dog (we have our own dog but this one is a little toy breed that can be picked up etc, whereas ours is large and not very playful). I was too awkward to bring up the money, and I expect she just forgot about it. In the end I paid my boys £25 each for a good job done so they didn’t lose out.

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 18:57

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 16:17

Yes, well my pet company do all that too. You must live somewhere very expensive because we have quality care at £10.75 per visit. I think £200 is a lot to pay a teenager to do those jobs. So you may find your friend agreees and prefers to pay a professional company next time. I think £100 is sufficient but clearly you don't so just get your teenager to speak up and ask for more next time, before she does the jib.

You must live someone fictional. I've done a thorough Google search and I can't find one pet sitting company that advertise feeding and playing with cats, emptying bins, watering plants and turning lights on and off for £10.75 what's the name of the pet sitting company you say offer this, so we can check it out? factoring petrol and travel that wouldn't even be a viable business for that rate. FYI the average cost for pet sitting is £12-18 per visit.

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 18:59

ColdWaterDipper · 02/05/2025 18:51

I feel your pain - our (only) neighbour up the lane, asked my boys (12 & 10) if they wanted to earn a bit of pocket money popping in on her dog twice a day before & after school while she was on holiday for 10 days. Her adult son was there overnight but works long hours so the agreement was for my boys to pop in and take the dog for a walk before and after school or play with it in the garden plus feed it in the mornings (her son did the evenings). In reality this meant I also had to go along, unlock and lock up their house and I watered the garden while the boys walked the little dog. They loved doing it, and were eagerly
looking forward to their pocket money (they were only hoping for about £20-30 each). However when she came back, she popped over to say thank you very much and that was it, no money, nothing. The boys were very disappointed, but they had enjoyed looking after the dog (we have our own dog but this one is a little toy breed that can be picked up etc, whereas ours is large and not very playful). I was too awkward to bring up the money, and I expect she just forgot about it. In the end I paid my boys £25 each for a good job done so they didn’t lose out.

That sounds off of you. She offered the job for pocket money, why didn't you chase it up?

FenellaFeldman · 02/05/2025 18:59

ColdWaterDipper · 02/05/2025 18:51

I feel your pain - our (only) neighbour up the lane, asked my boys (12 & 10) if they wanted to earn a bit of pocket money popping in on her dog twice a day before & after school while she was on holiday for 10 days. Her adult son was there overnight but works long hours so the agreement was for my boys to pop in and take the dog for a walk before and after school or play with it in the garden plus feed it in the mornings (her son did the evenings). In reality this meant I also had to go along, unlock and lock up their house and I watered the garden while the boys walked the little dog. They loved doing it, and were eagerly
looking forward to their pocket money (they were only hoping for about £20-30 each). However when she came back, she popped over to say thank you very much and that was it, no money, nothing. The boys were very disappointed, but they had enjoyed looking after the dog (we have our own dog but this one is a little toy breed that can be picked up etc, whereas ours is large and not very playful). I was too awkward to bring up the money, and I expect she just forgot about it. In the end I paid my boys £25 each for a good job done so they didn’t lose out.

Why were they hoping for £20-30 each? Is that what she said?

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 19:02

FenellaFeldman · 02/05/2025 18:59

Why were they hoping for £20-30 each? Is that what she said?

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If thats what she'd said I dont think they'd be hoping for it, more expecting it.

FenellaFeldman · 02/05/2025 19:03

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 19:02

If thats what she'd said I dont think they'd be hoping for it, more expecting it.

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True.

Bbq1 · 02/05/2025 19:12

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 18:57

You must live someone fictional. I've done a thorough Google search and I can't find one pet sitting company that advertise feeding and playing with cats, emptying bins, watering plants and turning lights on and off for £10.75 what's the name of the pet sitting company you say offer this, so we can check it out? factoring petrol and travel that wouldn't even be a viable business for that rate. FYI the average cost for pet sitting is £12-18 per visit.

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Haha, it's not fictional but as I'm using them in a couple of months, I don't want to give the name. I don't care if you think it's fictional. It's not and I don't have enough time on my hands to spend it inventing fictional pet care companies!

They:

Pick up the post and place it the living room.
Water my indoor plants.
Put the bins out on the correct day.
Draw the curtains on the evening visit, reopen them in the morning.
Feed the fish.
Do all cat care and play.

£10.75 a visit. 2 per day = £21.50 per day

Jumpers4goalposts · 02/05/2025 19:20

I think you’re expecting too much it’s only £7.55 for 16-18 year olds. My DD13 gets paid £6 an hour for her job. I cannot imagine how feeding a cat, opening or closes a curtain and sorting the litter would take any longer than 30mins a time.

Bestfadeplans · 02/05/2025 19:21

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Laura95167 · 02/05/2025 19:43

If she didn't offer payment and you didn't ask about it i think its rude and entitled to assume you're getting payment.

If a friend asked for a favour that's what I'd assume it was. It would be nice if she paid your DD but I think all these comments about how she's a scatter brain and you hope she just forgot are an unfair expectation you've put on her. While I think it would be nice to pay her, and I would have, your friend didn't offer a job she asked for a favour and you agreed