To think something is off here?

[Thegirlinthegreenscarf]

Way back early 2022 my colleague said that she got diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. Of course we all naturally felt so sorry for her and since have done everything we can to make sure that her life is easier. She has a husband and two young children. In 2024 my colleague said that she had surgery which removed most of the tumour but she was still terminally unwell.

The thing that's at the back of my mind is that she's never changed in appearance never looks unwell. Still puts in all the work hours etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe playing us all?

Not really a thing here
However, when a woman in my community did something similar the few people who did expressed doubts (not me thankfully I was pretty sure she was lying but kept out of it) were not exactly celebrated when in did all come out.

Young, white and female is the highest demographic for faking cancer. It's also possible it wasn't a total lie but exaggerated for attention. Maybe it was another brain condition that required surgery or the same cancer at a lower stage. Many also use symptoms and/or treatment for an autoimmune disease to trick people into thinking they have cancer.

The ironic thing is, it’s better if she is making it up, better a fantasist than dead.

I would just carry on as normal as, unless you knew one way or the other for a fact, there’s nothing you can, or should, do.

MIL had a glioblastoma ('luckily' she had a massive stroke and died before the cancer had fully got her) but not only had her surgery scar but then was on whacking high doses of steroids to reduce the swelling in the brain - which I believe is standard. She was v obviously on steroids - had the classic face shape and devoured anything in sight - including a v large box of lindt truffles - and was still hunting for more food.

We could tell personality changes due to the tumour but the steroid impact was v evident.

I also worked with someone who faked having stomach cancer - that was awful when he was found out.

@MuddlingThroughLife

I’m so sorry for your loss. It must have been torture watching and caring through this. 🕊

I was going to ask if her name was Belle Gibson but I can see that's already been mentioned!

There's a small chance she is telling the truth but I would be feeling wary.

One of my former uni housemates faked that she was getting dialysis and said that she was going to get a kidney transplant.

She also lied about having a twin that died.

My beloved mum and aunt both died of this unspeakably horrible condition.

My aunt lasted for eighteen months. My mother, five weeks.

I knew a young woman who lied about having a brain tumour. She seemed quite a troubled person in hindsight.

Many years ago I worked with a colleague who faked having a brain tumour. When he returned to work after what he claimed was brain surgery, it was immediately obvious he was lying. Nobody knew what to say to him. Management dealt with it promptly and he was never seen at work again.

One of my mum's carers was the sister of a former pupil of mine.

I was heartbroken to be told that the fp had terminal cancer. Then I became uneasy at the way the conversation was going.

Said carer - we later realised - had been stealing from Mum and had conned an elderly gentleman out of £700 for "a family funeral". (Carer was struck off.)

Two years later, I bumped into my terminally ill fp in hospital. She was visiting her father.

She must have registered the shock on my face - she told me she'd been cured via "Angel Therapy". (The fact that she told me this confirms for me that she was in on the scam.)

I mentioned a relative through marriage above.

My husband went round to her house to drop off Christmas presents for the kids. Heard her running down the stairs to answer the door.

As soon as she opened the door and saw DH, she twisted her mouth, dropped her arm etc in imitation of stroke symptoms. DH refused ever to see her again.

Brain cancer isn't really like having cancer anywhere else in your body, simply because of where it is. It's affecting your central control system in effect, and it's very unlikely that it could be covered up. My Dad had a glioblastoma which presented with stroke like symptoms for a day or two, progressed to making him appear as if he was in the throes of advanced dementia and for the final 3 weeks he was in a coma. From diagnosis to his death was just under 9 weeks. He was, apparently, fairly text book.

Same path as my lovely dad , it was horrific, he lost his sight and then his speech became unintelligible, then lost mobility. He had fish and chips for lunch and went to bed that night, we couldn't wake him in the morning. My sister and I sat with him, listening to the awful breathing for days and then he just stopped.

Listen to the podcast "Scamanda," which essentially about a woman who faked cancer, and did it very publicly.

I knew/know a guy who faked cancer, and then miraculously "recovered." But he also faked having a job on an F1 team, faked his father dying, and managed to have two families hidden from each other. And people would believe each one of his lies. Baffling.

There are lots of stories where people fake illness in themselves or their children. It can be an illness in itself. It could also be a scam if she is somehow benefitting from a lie. I don’t blame you for being suspicious.

To save the huge question mark over her integrity driving you mad, I think it’s best to try not to think about it, don’t say anything to anybody else at work and give her the benefit of the doubt. You don’t want to be responsible as the person who blows it all up.

I was a university tutor to a student terminally ill with cancer. To look at her you would think nothing wrong - though I knew she wasn’t faking due to doctors letters and a charity involved in planning her studies through terminal illness. Other students said they thought she was faking. In fact she was managing her illness so she only presented to others when she appeared fit and well. The treatment did not make her lose her hair, and she remained a similar weight. She died a year or so after graduation. Very sad. A lovely young woman.

This. I know someone who died from it and did a tremendous amount to support research in this area.

There is some pioneering treatment but it is in the very early stages. I think the first person to receive it was in the news not long ago.

Her story is odd for this particular type of brain cancer. Other types of tumour, perhaps not but glioblastoma is particularly aggressive.

She said that she had the operation then 9 days later she was fit as a fiddle and no symptoms as surgery had removed them all (obviously I am paraphrasing here)

This sounds very unlikely and to me, is a huge red flag… having a GBM ‘removed’ would generally involve a stint in ICU then rehab post op.

As someone who is a young white female, incurable cancer parent, why on gods green earth would anybody ever fake having cancer.

I guess financial gain, but it honestly makes me so incredibly angry. Have these stupid brainless women never heard of the boy who cried wolf? Is it an attention thing? There seems to be a running theme that it's always cancer, never a stroke or heart attack or another critical illness. Boggles my mind.

Yeah, I saw that too.
Apart from attention, and perhaps additional support at work, what would she be gaining by lying about it? Has she asked for fundraising etc, for example?

In the nicest possible way, wind your neck in. I have stage 4 cancer, the reason you appear "normal" is that treatment is less aggressive and it's more about quality of life. I am sure that her sick lines are not forged but also non of your business. I would be totally heartbroken to think/hear my colleagues thought I was at it because I felt well/didn't go about hang wringing, htg just don't....

There's a man in our area who's been on TV on the surgeons edge of life series and he has stage 4 glioblastoma, he had the op on TV and although he'll never be cured they debaulked a huge amount and 4 years later he's still here, working, but will eventually die of it. Please tread very very carefully with your suspicions because if u dare say anything and you're wrong you are gonna be the world's biggest c u next Tuesday!

To add some additional thoughts (I work in a related area):

Brain tumours are graded using a different system from other cancers, so it is not the same as thinking about people with other types of cancer (ie this is not about metastasizing, which you might hear about with other kinds of Grade 4 cancer). A Grade 4 brain tumour is the most aggressive and cancerous type of brain tumour, and GBMs are well known for their extremely poor survival rate (5-10% at 5 years with an average of 12-18 months). Treatment options are limited.

A normal treatment pathway would involve surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, assuming you were fit enough to do so, and lots of regular scans to follow up. You would definitely look to do this if there were residual tumour, otherwise they regrow at a fast pace.

It is also very unlikely you would be back to work after 10 days after a major neurosurgical intervention, regardless of whether a wig could cover anything up. Access to these tumours is a big undertaking for the majority of locations for these tumours. Many people also require treatment with steroids and this often changes how they might look.

Reasons this might not be what happened here - 1. the tumour turned out to be of a non-aggressive or less aggressive type when they looked at the cells after her surgery, unlikely but can happen - thus improving treatment required and her prognosis 2. people do lie about these things, for lots of reasons, some reasons for which you might have more sympathy than others.

From what you have said, it at least sounds like a very unusual situation and I understand why you feel the way you do - but it sounds like it might be hard to challenge directly.

After taking a huge deep dive recently into cancer fakers, she absolutely could be faking the whole thing.

Surely she’d have had time off for surgery and shaved patch on her head?

But, I’m also aware that not every cancer patient looks like they have cancer. My 91 year old Nan just had a hysterectomy for uterine cancer and was recovering at my parents’. I went to see her and she looked better than me. Took her to town last week and couldn’t keep up with her 🤣 buts she’s not had, nor having, chemo.

I’d be doubting this woman too, but I’m cynical.