To think something is off here?

[Thegirlinthegreenscarf]

Way back early 2022 my colleague said that she got diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. Of course we all naturally felt so sorry for her and since have done everything we can to make sure that her life is easier. She has a husband and two young children. In 2024 my colleague said that she had surgery which removed most of the tumour but she was still terminally unwell.

The thing that's at the back of my mind is that she's never changed in appearance never looks unwell. Still puts in all the work hours etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe playing us all?

I take methotrexate weekly for rheumatoid arthritis. I'm on probably a small percentage of what one might receive as a cancer treatment. So whilst my meth could be described as 'chemo', it feels quite dramatic, not to mention fraudulent, to call it that.

I don't think you are covering all of the reasons for your suspicions. It may be a question of maintaining brevity, or it may be that you haven't examined your memories to identify all the indications. But would you suddenly suspect someone you otherwise have always found to be credible and honest? I'll guess not.

That said, unless you are in the HR team and are concerned that she has wangled extra time off or more flexibility, I think YAB entirely U. You are looking for trouble, and is it really your business? In your shoes I would brush my suspicions off. Yes, as you present the situation it does sound slightly fishy, but not entirely implausible. Best to not let it get in the way of your ability to work with her. You could be negatively judging someone who has actually been incredibly brave and resilient, and presumably that would make you feel awful.

My relatives brain cancer (glioblastoma) was simply described in the histology report following the biopsy as ‘high grade’

My mum and my brother both died in their 60s from a gliablastoma multiforma brain tumour. They both died two months after their diagnosis, although symptoms weren’t picked up at first. It’s a horrible, aggressive tumour. They both started losing function after their diagnoses and the decline was rapid.

@Thegirlinthegreenscarf its none of your business. Your job is to mind the business that pays you.

If you do anything with your suspicion (as you’re doing now) and it comes out that she has been sick this whole time. That is harassment and I’d imagine your job would be on the line.

So respectfully face your front and mind your business

@Muddlingalongsomehow is correct.

Glioblastoma is defined by grade, not stage. Maybe other people who have loved ones with glioblastoma (like myself) misheard or misunderstood the terminology. Being in that room and trying to take everything in can be confusing and things can be misunderstood, we were encouraged to record meetings with the consultant for this very reason.

Or it could be that the consultant did mistakenly say stage instead of grade, but I can categorically say that stage is incorrect.

I am sorry to everyone on this thread who has also lost a loved one to glioblastoma

No not in brain tumours. Usually they’re differentiated by Grades not stages so stage 4 would mean grade 4 as in extremely fast growing

Some 15 yeara ago I worked in a large city centre supermarket. One of my colleagues told us one of her daughters was terminally ill... of course we all rallied round. Then the daughter died. Again we all rallied round. A few months after this happened she told us her other daughter had the same illness. Repeat the above. She also died. We rallied round. Did collections and fund rasing events.

Then one night some colleagues were out in town and saw the 2 (dead not dead) girls. They asked how they were. Etc etc. No mention of any illness and they certainly weren't dead.

Funny how the mother never turned up for work again. ....

Not grade 4 glioblastoma. im sorry but no, im a surgeon, i also have stage 4 sarcoma and i look ok, however i did a neurosurgery rotation for a year and i can categorically say that grade 4 glioblastoma treatment is not gentle or about quality of life, its so aggressive you cant not treat it with everything you have

I think you’re right. Certainly my friend, now sadly widowed, who I supported more recently was told stage 4. She couldn’t get past that information at all and kept repeating it. So deeply distressing. Of course I apologise if the information presented to me (on repeat) was incorrect. What I didn’t expect was the cruel words and accusations levelled at me by the poster to whom you refer.

Regardless of all of it, this is such a horrific and cruel cancer and having witnessed it twice in the last few years, I still find it hard to fathom that the person OP describes at her work, does indeed have this diagnosis. If she hasn’t, it makes a mockery of the suffering endured by those diagnosed with glioblastoma.

But she isn’t doing anything and has said repeatedly she wouldn’t say anything. She is asking for opinion on an anonymous forum. That is the MOST responsible thing to do if you would like some opinion to either validate or refute your curiosity.

There isn't any staging for glioblastoma but there is grading based on how aggressive the cancer is unlike cancer in other parts of the body which are graded and staged. Systems of classification are similar but also different, so very difficult to make a comparison on the basis of grading as they mean very different things.

I think you are being very unfair researching her condition and calling her out online.
Admittedly I don't have cancer but I've got long term conditions but look well so often am not believed.
Why not actually go and speak to her and actually ask her?
You don't know what her financial situation is, what treatment she's had, you can have stage 4 cancer and be terminal but be stable.

A girl in my class at college told us all she had leukemia and we didn't believe her. 6 months after our course ended she passed away aged 18 from leukemia.

Not with Glioblastoma.

You are absolutely being unreasonable here, and i hope you never have to go through a major illness and have others doubt you because they don't look like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

At risk of repeating myself, it is almost impossible to look “well” with glioblastoma unless in the very early stages.

To suggest otherwise is frankly insulting to those who have lost loved ones to this disease and know what we are talking about.

Glioblastoma are always a grade 4

Only if it hasn't grown from a glioma, they can be 1 or 2 and are quite often benign.

It's hard to believe but there are people who scam and Glio seems to be something they latch onto. It chaps my a** because my best friend ACTUALLY had cancer and died. Terminally ill patients lose a lot of weight and look sick. If I recall right Glio has a quicker death than my friends cancer and she was gone in 15 months.

I can't say this is what is happening with your coworker, but if it is, she may suffer with Munchausen. Also not a walk in the park because the house of cards inevitably falls and all that empathy you garnered and crave turns to outrage.

It isn't. I lost somebody to gioblastoma and there was a long period in between surgery and regrowth when they looked well and functioned normally.

I really don’t think it isn’t as simple as this.
A lot depends on when the tumor is discovered. If a tumor is relatively small at the point of removal then sure, a person may well have a period of normality between surgery and the tumor re-appearing (which I believe most do). But often the tumor presents with symptoms which lead to its discovery and may already have done irreparable damage to the brain and those symptoms unfortunately don’t disappear once it is removed, they may alleviate or improve with various types of therapy (physical and occupational) but will most likely remain to some extent. Think speech problems, mobility problems, seizures, memory issues. The surgery itself is also more complex depending on size and location of tumor which then also affects recovery and lasting side effects.

And then also it really does depend on where in the brain the tumor is located and what functions are impaired as a result of the location of the tumor.

A tumor in the frontal lobe will almost always have noticeable side effects.

There is no one size fits all except that GBM is aggressive and in almost all cases ultimately terminal.

Which is why I said almost.

I am pleased your loved one did stay so well for so long, but that isn’t the norm. 75% of glioblastoma suffers die within a year of diagnosis and less than 5% survive for five years.

Surgery is visible I assume? My immediate family member couldn’t have surgery because of the tumour site, but started treatment immediately and was “lucky” enough to survive for a year and a half after diagnosis. She had lost some mobility prior to diagnosis, which started the investigations.

The person the OP is talking about is claiming to have had surgery, no visible scarring or operation site, and been out of hospital same day. That just wouldn’t happen.

At that stage they aren’t glioblastoma though.

Glioma refers to a broad range of brain tumours that can be grades 1-2 or 3-4. When/if they become glioblastoma (a specific brain cancer) then they are grade 4.

Glioblastoma is always grade 4.

I'm not sure why you need to tell me this when I have just said I recently went through this with somebody. I was responding to a post which said it was not possible for somebody to appear well at any stage of the disease, which is not true, as I know from personal experience