To think something is off here?

[Thegirlinthegreenscarf]

Way back early 2022 my colleague said that she got diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. Of course we all naturally felt so sorry for her and since have done everything we can to make sure that her life is easier. She has a husband and two young children. In 2024 my colleague said that she had surgery which removed most of the tumour but she was still terminally unwell.

The thing that's at the back of my mind is that she's never changed in appearance never looks unwell. Still puts in all the work hours etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe playing us all?

So you’re all freelance

So how often are you in the same office with this colleague?

This issue completely aside… do you like her? Get on with her?

I have a really strong suspicion an ex boyfriend is doing exactly this at present - the difference is he’s raised £50k via a go fund me for life saving treatment abroad and then his latest post is, tumours are naturally shrinking, so I won’t go abroad for the operation just yet but your money is so helpful thank you 🧐
I feel awful even thinking it, but knowing him, and watching him speak about it in a video my gut was screaming that he’s lying.
Always trust the gut!

Based on the information given and what I know of my friend who died on a brain tumour at 24 I would be highly dubious of this colleague.

I don't believe it.

A friend has has been operated on twice to remove a brain tumour. Both times his recovery has been incredible. Was a running joke that my hangover symptoms were worse than the effects of the op when I visited the day day after.
Has affected him long term, but subtly. The giveaway is the impressive scar under his hairline

I have two friends currently with serious cancers, yes they are carrying on, yes they are making the best of things (both only in their 30s) but you can absolutely ‘tell’ and does seem a bit strange to be fine 10 days later from major surgery

.

My DB had exactly this diagnosis. I guess the ability to work would depend on the site of the tumour. His was frontal lobe and affecting his speech. He had it removed and had another one removed a year later but it reopened and he had died within 2 years of diagnosis.
He was a surveyor and was off work from point of diagnosis but to meet him in the street you would not have known there was an issue until last few months( other than large scar on his scalp) He was mobile, climbing hills,skiing,cycling and living his best life as he knew there was not much time left. Even 2 months before he died he was walking with my SIL to local supermarket to buy a coffee and daily paper. When I went to collect him after second lot of brain surgery, they discharged him the next day and he was standing on one leg to put his socks and shoes on. Incredible.
However, very few people survive longer than a year or 2 with this type of tumour.

reappeared not reopened!

I know someone really well who was diagnosed with the same type of brain tumour 2 years ago who runs a successful business with employees. He had de-bulking surgery on the weekend, discharged from hospital Thursday and was back at work Monday! The following month he had 3 weeks of radiotherapy Monday-Friday but was still working and then chemo pills monthly. None of this affected him one jot and he only lost a small patch of hair which he could hide easily. They only got about 95% of his tumour out, the rest was too dangerous, so he has regular scans to ensure it’s not growing back. He’s reapplied for his driving licence now his 2 years are up and his consultant was happy to sign the paperwork. Basically, unless your colleague has form for telling major porkies please don’t assume she is now.

I know someone who lied about cancer. Shaved her own head. Faked hospital appts, had friends running round after them at the detriment to their own families.

They also faked mental illness in their children, poor health in parents and a huge list of ailments for themselves.
Oh, and domestic violence because they'd been dumped.

Some people love a drama, some have munchausens (?) and some are genuinely ill.

I would distance myself from anyone who I thought was bullshitting after my previous experience with a person like this.

I had a colleague who pretended she had a brain tumour. The local press interviewed her, money was raised by her village for a special family trip etc. It was all a lie although she kept lying about it years later. She claimed she was at hospital when a friend of mine had just passed her in the car. She lied about health matters regarding her family too, claiming her children had various broken limbs etc. she was a thoroughly toxic woman. So it does happen but I'm assuming it's fairly unusual behaviour

And? Was she exposed?

I encountered her during a secondment then returned to my original job. The boss at the secondment changed and the new boss was onto her quite quickly. Her job was changed and made it difficult for her to get away with the lies.

A family member was given five years, tops, for cancer and that was ten years ago. They’re still here though it won’t be cured, ever, and at some point will kill them. They will be here for as long as the treatment continues to work. Life expectancies and outcomes following further treatment can be very individual. It also depends on the rate and spread of the cancer.

My family member is no longer working but continues to live life to the full and save for getting tired easily they still live a quite active life.

So…. She was “exposed”

or just a gradual drip drip of people not believing her

I had radiotherapy following breast cancer and carried on as normal. Use to go for the treatment around 10am and be in work by 11am. It did make me tired though.

Chemo is much more invasive on your body though.

Has she had time off for appointments etc , although I suppose she could be faking this.

To fake about being ill is a recognised condition - Munchasens syndrome was its old name. You can also get Mun chase n by proxy, where you don’t make yourself ill, but you live it out via your child. Ie, every sniffle etc your at the doctors, or you make them deliberately ill

I had a friend at uni who had the same type of cancer as your colleague, OP. Hers was diffuse and inoperable but she had several rounds of radiotherapy and chemotherapy over the course of 18 months or so. She was extremely tired and weak, lost her hair and a considerable amount of weight, and went through phases of being confused and having difficulty communicating. She sadly died without returning to her course. You can't be sure but tbh I would be a bit cautious that you're being lied to.

My 10 year old ds died from stage 4 medulloblastoma. Having watched him have a 7 hour brain surgery which resulted in weakness down his left side and difficulty walking, watching him do daily radiotherapy for 6 weeks which made all his hair even his eye lashes fall out followed by 4 months of intensive chemo, go into remission then die 3 months later because it came back and nothing more could be done, I'm afraid I don't believe your colleague.

I was off work for the whole year of his treatment to look after him.

Threads like this fascinate me. Anyone remember the one about the woman who was clearly pretending to be pregnant?

I worked with someone who faked having cancer, it got her alot of attention and time off. Turns out she'd done the same thing at her previous job too. It does happen.

My Dad had cancer last year, he carried on as normal as much as he could. To the outside world he probably looked fine, just a little tired. In fact it was getting Shingles that really knocked him.

3 close friends and family members were diagnosed with this. Stage 4 Glioblastoma is aggressive and horrible. They were all dead within 2 years. They all had slightly different presentations of the disease early on but they were all quite clearly very ill.

Another close friend died with it recently but that was the final nail on top of other cancers. It is very unpleasant to see.

There have been a few instances where people claim to be ill like this for various reasons, usually financial.
There was one within my loose circle who had people providing childcare and allsorts, turns out she was committing major fraud and was hoping to get sympathy. Total shitshow when it came out
BUT I imagine most people with cancer genuinely DO have it so I think you have to assume your colleague is telling the truth for now.

My DH's best mate had this type of brain tumour. He had an operation (half his head shaved - it took quite a while to grow back) and extensive chemotherapy and steroids. He was very tired in the latter stages and sadly died around 18 months after being diagnosed, and was still having treatment.

It's a very aggressive form of cancer, I'd be very surprised if this is true - and don't blame you for being suspicious. Obviously you can't say anything.

Munchhausen syndrome? Money and attention possibly.