Is a size 14 big?

[fattytoadboy]

Just that really. Been somewhere between a size 12-14 for the past 20 years. Even when I lost two stone I still fit into my size 12 clothes. Now I’m about 12 stone at 5,7 and a solid 14.

I definitely feel better around the 10.5 stone mark. I’m really struggling to lose weight. Sometimes I look at myself and can see a roll around my belly or feel like my face looks bloated and neither of these things make me happy or confident.

Equally when I’m dressed well I think I look ok. I know it’s totally subjective but in your opinion is a size 14 what you’d consider large? I don’t think I look obscenely overweight but I definitely would look and feel better with a few stone off.

Bugger me, I’m off to River Island at the weekend! 🎉 To be fair, I have a range of sizes too, 10-14, some from many years ago. I’d say vintage size 14 is definitely more today’s 12.

Really? I wonder if that is using a different measurement of the mean? Or the standard has changed?

It has been for at least 15 years
why do you doubt it? Look around

I am 5ft 3 and 10 stone 12, I have the same BMI as you, and although I wear size 12, I struggle with tops as I have a very large matronly bust and an apple tum, If I wore 14s they would probably fit better, having said that I wear size 10 leggings as I have thin legs and they stretch around my tum, I guess it depends what clothes they are and if they are loose or tight. Years ago I was a size 24 weighing 13 stone, so getting to a 14 made me feel skinny, its all relative.

I'm 5ft 7

99% of the time I end up with a size 14 jeans, have done for many years now. I’m 5’3” and weigh 9.9 stones, so a healthy BMI. It all depends which shops you buy your clothes from as well. I know that Tu in Sainsburys comes up quite large, so I have a size 12.

5’7 also. I consider myself a 14 but might be being optimistic these days- BMI is 28 so edging towards obese. It depends on many factors of course largely varying sizes in stores. I follow a stylist, also 5’7 who usually wears a 14 and she doesn’t have an extra ounce on her…
id be careful trying to compare to a British average when half of adults are overweight

I'm also 5ft7 and size 14, my weight varies, at my biggest I was 13st now I'm 11st 3lb. I've constantly worn size 14!

I'm 5ft 7 and 11st3 but feel fat...probably because my baby belly hasn't gone away yet

Why are people tiptoeing around here? Sorry, OP, but 12 stone at 5'7" is definitely fat. Not gargantuan, but fat.

I'm 5'8" and 10 stone, and am squarely in the middle of the BMI range (21.3). I am slim, with a slender top half and arms, but definitely carry some weight on my bottom half. When I was 10.5 stone, I was genuinely "curvy" (not in the euphemistic sense). When I was 11.5 stone ( almost 20 years ago now), I was definitely chunky - though I was still at the top end of my healthy BMI weight range!

Yes, builds vary somewhat, but not that much! People need to get real.

Do you know which country has the lowest obesity rate in the world? Vietnam - at 2% of the population (still seems high to me). And I can see why. I spent about 4 months there in my early 20s and was 10.5 stone at the time of my first visit. A stranger at a marketplace (older woman) commented that I was pretty, but would look better if I lost weight! When I returned to Vietnam a year later and half a stone lighter, a native friend commented positively on my weight loss. Another Vietnamese friend commented that my mum was "map" (fat) after he saw her in a photo! People don't go out of their way to be nasty, but they will just tell it to you straight. Being at all overweight is viewed and discussed negatively by anyone and everyone. And those social attitudes clearly contribute to a generally fit and slim population. A little "fat shaming" - which I would often say is just being honest - goes a long way! I hate all this "body positivity", "plus-sized" nonsense. It encourages delusion and denial.

Well aren’t you just a delight

There have been some really helpful comments here and I do realise it’s very subjective.

It’s a shame some posters have had to get incredibly rude and personal but this is Aibu and it’s depressingly predictable.

I definitely know I’m not looking my best, a stone and a half loss would make me feel a lot better about myself but I can’t seem to make lasting changes at the moment.

Thank you for your comment but I’d choose being fat any day of the week over having your appalling attitude.

Weight can be lost, a shitty personality is usually permanent.

Does the majority of Vietnam have an "appalling attitude", too? What did I say that was "appalling", or not basically true...?

Maybe people shouldn't come on AIBU asking direct questions if they don't want direct answers...?

Unlike you, I didn't make any presumptions about your personality or personally insult you. I just answered your question and said that, based on your description of yourself, yes: you are "big", aka fat.

Size 14 on me is overweight. I’m 5’5” and quite a small frame. I’d need to be about 2-3 stone overweight. But I think some women who are probably that size or larger look perfect. Height plays a part in balancing things.

The attitude I’m talking about is more the arrogant “people need to get real” and “im just being honest” etc tripe.

I bet you’re one of those people who says “I just say it how it is” in real life aren’t you? Your opinion isn’t fact and you don’t get to tell everyone else “how it is” because it is a subjective topic.

My weight is a concern to me otherwise I wouldn’t be posting about it. I know id look and feel better in my own skin if I could lose a stone, probably two if I’m honest. I’m not in denial about it but I do think it’s possible to be a little kinder when addressing people, or at least don’t act like your thoughts on the matter are god given facts.

Thankfully I have no plans to visit Vietnam any time soon.

You were being deliberately offensive. You've said that anyone who is plus size and body positive at the same time is 'delusional and in denial'. You have also condoned fat shaming. I bet the reason you are so angry is because you won't allow yourself to enjoy life. If you used to be heavier and now you're not then you are obviously restricting yourself a lot. You're angry at fat people because they don't restrict themselves like you feel you have to do. All because you have some pretty horrific opinions on what a healthy weight is.

Such a dangerous attitude making blanket statements like that

This is me at 12 stone 5ft 7. You say you are mid range at 10 stone, I was anorexic at 10 stone. periods stopped, excess hair etc. We all have different builds, different skeleton sizes. It’s a good job I’m stronger now so I won’t let your ignorant opinion make me feel like starving myself.

Jesus Christ, have a fucking doughnut.

Lol. I'm not "angry" at fat people. I generally don't think too much about them.

And I don't restrict myself at all. I eat about 2300 calories a day.

Sorry that agreeing with the general scientific consensus on what a healthy weight is is a "pretty horrific opinion".

The wild assumptions and personal allegations against me are off the charts! Wow.

Posts like this pop up all the time. It is impossible to judge this without knowing the person's body composition and seeing a photo. BMI means nothing either as muscle mass isn't accounted for.

British society overall with view you as totally fine.

The poster @McSilkson getting their arse handed to them referring to Vietnam, it’s really all of Asia. it’s the cultural norm plus if you have quite a traditional diet it’s just a healthier way of eating. Living for many years with my English DH and having a more mixed diet of Chinese and English food means I am much bigger than I was. I’m still a size 12 but I am the fattest in my family by far.

Zara's sizing is bonkers. In fact most clothes sizing is useless, as it's not uniform. I have had clothes in my wardrobe ranging from an 8 to a 16 on the label, which all fitted me well when (by the tape measure) I was as near as dammit a standard UK 12. If you can walk up a hill without panting, tie your own shoelaces ok, and feel comfortable, that's a good size.

Did you have a diagnosis of anorexia at 10 stone at 5’7? As a previous anorexic I find this difficult to believe. It may not have been a healthy weight for you but that’s not the same as anorexia which is a dreadful and debilitating illness with an extremely low bmi. That bmi is almost 22 - not anorexia territory

It's not the truth.

Are you really so dense that you can't see that people have different builds and different heights, and while a size 14 might be large for a short person it probably won't be for a tall person?

Thank goodness most people aren't as clueless as you!