Is a size 14 big?

[fattytoadboy]

Just that really. Been somewhere between a size 12-14 for the past 20 years. Even when I lost two stone I still fit into my size 12 clothes. Now I’m about 12 stone at 5,7 and a solid 14.

I definitely feel better around the 10.5 stone mark. I’m really struggling to lose weight. Sometimes I look at myself and can see a roll around my belly or feel like my face looks bloated and neither of these things make me happy or confident.

Equally when I’m dressed well I think I look ok. I know it’s totally subjective but in your opinion is a size 14 what you’d consider large? I don’t think I look obscenely overweight but I definitely would look and feel better with a few stone off.

And this is a very interesting and accessible podcast on the subject:

BMI and Fat Phobia

If you have a delicate bone structure, then yes, it would be.

People seem to really struggle with the concept that people's skeletons are different sizes.

I'd be chunky and flabby at a size 12. Conversely, I could never be smaller than a size 8, not matter what my weight, because of the size of my hips. Other people could be very slim at s size 12 because if the size of their frames.

I’m the same size and definitely overweight but not obese

what a ridiculous comment.

Of course you can be "fat" in a size 12. If you look healthy, toned and slim in a size 6-8, you are definitively too big when you climb to a 12.

An M&S 12 is also extremely generous, a "teen" store like New Look a lot less....

oh please

Pretending that a perfectly healthy size 8 must be "an under-eater" means you have serious issues. I don't know where you are looking, but most women around me are an 8-10.

Just look at the recent footage of the London Marathon. I appreciate it's not your 'average" person, but with more than 56,000 runners, it's pretty obvious a lot of people are simply not big.

Average 16-18 doesn't mean you are surrounded by healthy people either. Would these women look better if they lost weight? I am guessing they would.

If you are a size 14 but would look and feel a lot better after losing some weight, then no, size 14 is not "absolutely fine".

This. I'm size 14 (ish) but I'm 11 and a half stone and 5 foot 11. That doesn't tie up with your stats. In reality, I'm probably anything from a 10 to a 16. You probably are as well! Your height and weight doesn't sound particularly large or small - just... normal. But for you to be asking this question at all suggests you'd like to be smaller.

At 5 ft 6 ish and with a heavy build, a size 14 is probably my ideal. It can vary hugely OP and Mumsnet isn’t always the healthiest place to ask.

Saying women who are size 16-18 would look "better" if they lost weight is subjective.

In many cultures, and even historically in our culture, that kind of size was seen as the ideal. Sometimes the answer lies not in trying to fit into society's standards, but instead trying to reframe your mentality.

So if you're a size 14 and would feel a lot better after losing some weight because you'd fit more closely to society's standards, then maybe try to change your attitude towards size and focus on body positivity. If you're a size 14 and you know you have an unhealthy lifestyle- by all means think about making changes that may incidentally cause you to lose weight, but may not and that's fine because a size 14 in a woman who has had children may be completely normal and healthy.

I totally agree with this. My slimmest possible size (with a teeny weeny waist, and quite underweight) still gave me large hips. That will never change - that's how I'm shaped.

Are you serious? I am perfectly healthy and surrounded by perfectly healthy people, I am not reframing my mentality to pretend we should all be over-weight 😂

The simple fact that a modern 14 is sizes bigger than a 14 was a few decades ago is a big clue.

Pretending that a woman must be bigger because she "has had children" is absolute nonsense. It's not subjective to notice unnecessary rolls of flab, and excessive amounts of calories eaten on a daily basis.

I wasn't suggesting you reframe your mentality. I was offering the suggestion that people who are healthy who want to lose weight purely to fit the societal standard have an alternative option to reframe their mentality and may be much happier for it.

What I was saying about historical standards- just look at paintings of women considered beautiful over the centuries. Many have "rolls of flab".

I don't mean that a woman must be bigger because she has had children. A size 14 may be perfectly healthy in a woman who hasn't had children too. I just meant that for some women, after having children their natural size may be bigger than before and that can often be fine and healthy.

I don't have any social media and have never posted on MN before this thread. And this has all really reminded me why I made that decision. The lack of kindness and empathy from some posters is so sad and difficult to see.

It's interesting to note that a lot of the messages that suggest size 14 is a problem come across as aggressive and heartless, and those suggesting size 14 isn't a problem are often full of kindness and compassion. I don't think that's a coincidence.

I won't reply anymore or take part in this thread but I just hope people who have read this and struggle with their self image can take the positivity and ignore the negativity.

I agree with you on this. I'm a very healthy tall woman (almost 6 foot) with a BMI firmly in the healthy range. I look and feel healthy. People call me slim. I have a very small waist. Yet I still want to lose weight and look thinner. I would LOVE to reframe this mentality and just be content with my healthy weight!
(Oh and I've had 2 children and I'm larger than I used to be - still healthy and slim though).

Size 8 is the smallest regular size. 6 is smaller than a regular size and newish invention.

Bit nosy to ask my BMI. I don't know what it is. When I was an 8 there was no size 6. I could wear a size 8 top if the sleeves were ever long enough. Before you ask, short sleeves can also be too short if you have really long arms.

I'm tall and I have modelled. After having DC size 8 trousers didn't work with my hips. I've always sized up to 12 in blazers for sleeve length apart from the rare occasions when the styles make the sleeves long enough. I've got a mid 90s size 14 coat from ProMod (French high street brand), I'm slim it just about fits. It fits no differently from when I bought it as a young person. I would say it's true size is 10-12 in today's sizing and also was then.

I don't weigh myself, I can see I'm slim. When I was 4 months pregnant I weighed 9st 4. They sent me to the maternity hospital for a check up. Apparently that wasn't heavy enough for 6ft person. I was fine though, it's just how I'm built

As a teenager I was pretty slim with a thigh gap. I still haven’t been much below 9 stone since before I was 15. To suggest that made me fat is ridiculous. Lots of people saying “anyone can be Catherine Middleton slim if they want to”- no they can’t. I couldn’t. I have broad shoulders and muscular legs, and even when I wore a size 10 my tummy was convex unless I was lying on my back! I spent hours worrying and I had an eating disorder because of the messages that if you weren’t shaped like Kate Moss you were fat. I see a lot of people posting here still think that.

Of course you can be unhealthy at any size but that isn’t the point here so I will repeat, a size 12 is not and never will be fat.

Jesus, for the last time, someone who has a natural hip width of 34 inches and a 25 inch waist would without a doubt be fat at a size 12!

It's your natural frame that decides what size is fat for each person, not the fashion industry and not those who have become fat blind.

Me too. Felt like a 14 was big, now im an 18 and long to be a 14 again!

How are you completely failing to comprehend that people’s skeletal frames are completely different sizes? If I fit into size 12 clothes, I would very definitely be ‘fat’.

Body composition does account for a lot.

Me and my sil are same height, and we often pass clothes back and forth which for the most part are size 12, sometimes 14. I struggle with jackets/shirts as I have quite bulky shoulders/upper arms, and she can struggle with trousers as she carries weight in hips.

Im almost 4 stone heavier than her, and creeping into the upper overweight bordering on obese bmi, where as her bmi is quite neatly in the healthy bmi.

So I'm a 12/14 and fat, she's a 12/14 and not fat.

What I want to say as a person who has struggled with weight, if you think you're not as slim as you'd prefer to be, look fine in the mirror but heavy on all photos or videos, then the photos are probably right. That's what happened to me, and I spent several years deleting all photos as they were for some unfathomable reason, all so unflattering. Bad angle or something.
They weren't. I was just fat.

Clothing size is a weird measurement tool.

I'm obese and size 14. When I was size 12 I was still overweight.

That’s pretty much me. Currently 27” waist and at the top of healthy BMI. If I put on enough to be a size 12 30” waist I would be well into the overweight category.
However my top half is a different kettle of fish altogether as I have massive shoulders so never take less than a 14 in jackets even if I am underweight.
Dress sizes are meaningless relative to everyone else, only worth taking into account in relation to yourself and changes through time.

This is a perfect example thankyou
You are the same height, wear the same size, yet you are 4 stones heavier. It’s all about frame and how we carry it

When you buy clothes, an 8 is classed as S, a 10 as M, and a 12 as L, so following that guide, a 14 is big. Have you never noticed this?