AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

[SunnyLuny]

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

They sound a nightmare!!!! That’s so awful.

my cats are old and largely stay in with litter trays and a dirt box on rhe balcony.
Our dog keeps all other neighbourhood cats out of our house and garden… I feel for my neighbour who has no animals to protect her garden - dread to think what goes on in it.

In your OP you said:

The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

So actually you did have a very good idea of what the problem was. If you were so motivated to resolve the issue you could have sent a card 3 years ago. It seems that you’ve only done that now because you’re upset about the spikes.

slept at night on our garden furniture leaving it covered in hair,

😱

OP your partner thinks you should go round 😂 why not him??
A number of years ago a neighbour did something similar for similar situation but also put rubber snakes on the fence. Fruit loop. She was the mum of my best friend when I was a teenager, she was always a little different.

Thank you, this is exactly what I was trying to get at with my post. However people have just been attacking me like crazy! We had the cat a while with no issues. We were friendly, she gave us extra plants she had, we would often stop to chat. Nothing has ever been said. It’s not even just me she ignores, she even ignores my young son who she used to talk to all the time! She could’ve left a note, she’s done that before about issues. She left us a note a few weeks ago to move our trampoline as she wanted it away from her side of the fence. Which we did straight away. Also her other neighbour has a cat who also roams but there’s no spikes on that fence!

I’m not against the cat proofing I just want to clear the hostility she has between us. I’ve sent her a friendly card which she can reply to or not. I’ll get a catio and hopefully the anger she holds towards us will subside.

What if you wrote a nice note saying: Oh, I noticed your recent addition of spikes in the fence. Is there something going on I should know about?
It could be something unrelated - like she read an article about burglars leaping over fences.

It does happen.
I even had them on camera.
And one randomly in a living room in a summer. Though just exploring and run out.

Most people don't actually hate cats. They hate the fact that someone else's pet is ruining their enjoyment of their property, causing damage and they are not allowed to moan because "what daya wanus to do ya cat haterz🐱🥰😇🤷"

Don't stress. My neighbour done this and my cat just walked over it!

Can you not work out yourself an outside cat would do this? Why would you need to be told?

Goodness me, she sounds difficult! I’d just totally ignore her & her rudeness & enjoy my life! She doesn’t sound nice!

To all the anti cat brigade….please could you also stop your dogs from barking and shitting all over our streets? I literally can’t stand sitting in my garden hearing dogs barking in peoples gardens. It happens anywhere you go.

It doesn't actually sound like the cat is the problem (although most of the posters here are very anxious to believe that).

Have you done something else to offend her, even unintentionally? Has your son been climbing into her garden without permission? Damaging anything overhanging your garden? (which is yours anyway but some people are just weird and petty). Are balls or toys going over the fence?

I can't understand why a person who loathed cats to the extent that they completely ceased contact with a neighbour who kept one would stay on good terms with another outdoor cat owner.

100% I live rurally & have working dogs & none of them bark but I can hear a yapping rat from the house 1/2 mile away. It’s persistent & absolutely bloody annoying. A cat crapping on my garden is nothing compared to the frustration of that sound

I have no idea. Our houses aren’t attached, our son doesn’t play outside much but when he does it’s never for longer than an hour. In the 5 years we’ve lived here I think a ball has gone over twice and she throws them away instead of chucking it back over. We don’t do anything to the garden other than mow it and have a couple of small potted plants. Rarely have people round. We have a trampoline that was nearer to her side of the fence (not touching the fence or unreasonably close, just on that side of the garden) and she sent us a note to move it away. This is why I’m confused as she has raised issues before that we’ve fixed straight away.

She sounds crazy, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Why would she need to tell you she has an issue with your cat? Are you under the impression that some people like cat shit in their gardens and others don’t? You can just assume that no one wants your cat in their garden and they have an issue with it. It’s more likely if anyone doesn’t have an issue they’ll tell you.

Are cats the new XL bullies? 😅

Shitting cat, noisy kid, trampoline by her border, balls coming over the fence. Gee, I can’t imagine why she thinks you’re undesirable as neighbours.

She’s quiet and keeps to herself; how is that “difficult “??

If only others would do the same.

Quite. I bet she's well and truly over it.

It’s horrible having cat shit in your garden. I’ve trodden in it several times. I’ve just cleared some more up! I’ve bleached the pebbled area that next door’s cat has adopted as his litter tray. I’m not surprised your neighbour is pissed off with you.

Consult your neighbours before you get a cat? 🤪

Well I think ideally people wouldn’t choose to own pets which are 100% likely to cause a nuisance to other people who haven’t chosen to own a pet. That means unless you live a considerable distance from neighbours, what I reasonably expect cat owners to do is keep their cats on their own property instead of shrugging their shoulders and allowing them to use the neighbour’s gardens as a litter tray and destroy wildlife.

I don’t understand stand why you haven’t just gone round and knocked on her door and asked her. All this guessing why she’s upset and writing notes. Just talk to her.

Your pet is probably shitting in her garden and if it is, it is your responsibility to deal with it. Neighbours should not suffer the consequences of your decisions.