Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

As I said, the relevant difference is that she is formerly connected with him in a professional role and as her child has left the school, she will have no further professional interaction with him. Any former client of a business may become a client once again.

Genuinely can't fathom why you are so arsed about this. Do you not have much going on in life?

Ffs! Men make sleazy comments all the time.

The difference here is that the teacher specifically told OP that in teacher-parent meetings in a school environment that are supposed to be professional and about her child, he was all the while fantasising about fucking her.

So presumably he's thinking that as a matter of course about most of the mums on parent-teacher meetings and he isn't even ashamed to say so. Presumably he thinks they should be flattered?

Fantasising about mums in a school is one thing. But having the audacity to actually tell this to a mum of a child in your class (past or present) is disgusting, entitled, misogynistic and clearly designed to make her uncomfortable.

If you can't see that, I can't help you.

@PigglyWigglyOhYeahOr “Become a teacher. It’s great. Until you behave like a fucking sleazy creep towards a virtual stranger and get called out for it. But no need to worry. A whole collection of women will say it’s her fault. What with her being a woman out at night unsupervised. You’ll be fine.”

Yes, I also don’t think that would be a regulatory matter in my profession. Perhaps that’s the difference, if schools are used to seeing that as the line. The issue would be employment contract and disrepute.

I don't need your "help", thank you.
I agree with you about his behaviour, I just don't see how he can be professionally disciplined and referred to the TRA in this instance.

He isn't representing the school when he is in the nightclub.

The school HAS dealt with it and you have begun to harass them

You stalked this man on social media and his school

You have entertained idea of a smear campaign

OP you are the one who will end up in trouble if you persist in this campaign against him for one sleazy comment

And to all thd people saying "Oh well it's fine because he hasn't been inappropriate towards pupils...." Well, how do you know that? He sounds like an utter creep and it wouldn't surprise me if he made colleagues and pupils uncomfortable in ways that keep him just under the radar. No way is what he said to OP a one off. It's likely to be the just the tip of the iceberg.

" A whole collection of women will say it’s her fault."

I'm not sure anyone has said this never mind a whole collection.

Plenty of people have said it's quite common from drunk people ( mostly men) in bars / clubs and he's been a bit of a sleaze but at least slunk away when rejected.

Again...no one is saying anything of the sort! It's the disproportionate response from the OP that is completely unreasonable. Calling him out on his comment at the time - absolutely. Emailing his workplace and then escalating to the governors - absolutely batshit!

What a disgusting misogynistic creep

I would not want him teaching my child

and attitudes like his rarely are well hidden

I think you did the right thing to contact the school regardless of what they are able to do

Maybe, yes, if there’s no disrepute or general conduct clause in teaching contracts. Would surprise me, but as I’ve said I’m not a teacher.

You sound as unhinged as the OP.

"Would surprise me, but as I’ve said I’m not a teacher."

I'm surprised you're saying this because as a non teacher you (unsurprisingly) won't be familiar with their terms of employment.

Obviously they do have disrepute and conduct terms and as pp have pointed out these specify limits on friendships relationships conduct with parents of current pupils which differ from commercial organisations for reasons pp have also pointed out...

I have read all of your posts and I really do think you are taking this too far.

I feel like you are disgruntled about the school dismissing your complaint (quite rightfully IMO) and now you are on the path to losing someone their job and making it hard for them to get a new one in the future.

I don’t think I could live with myself if I knew I’d done this to someone.

And the bawdy baggage is put in the stocks.

I am liking this.

I’d be surprised but, yes, maybe teaching employment contracts are written like that.

There has been page after page of posters saying the school won’t do anything so if they are all to be believed, his job is absolutely fine. As per my previous posts, it’s the schools response I’m taking issue with.

The training suggests leaving the area where pupils or parents are in a bar. Not telling them you fantasised about bending her over the table at the parent’s meeting. You may spot the difference.

Why are you surprised? Teachers are allowed to have a private and personal life.

So are you still planning to write to the local papers about him and email the Chair of Governors?

Many a MN’r seem to be struggling with that key detail - it wasn’t a random interaction. Someone came up to me and told me that when they were telling me how my DC was doing with their studies, they were actually looking at me and thinking about me being bent over their desk. Sickening!

I have emailed the chair of governors and their handling of this will determine my next steps.

It was sickening, and it's understandable that you were shocked and upset.
Do you think he should be dismissed from his job?