Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

Oh I see. Are you hoping this will go to the TRA?

That’s not a decision for me to make. Do I think a school should take such concerns about a staff member seriously? Absolutely - I make no apologies for that.

Looks as though she's already emailed the CofG. After checking them out on LinkedIn of course.

Hopefully she does go to the papers so this teacher can report her to the police for harassment and defamation.

I’m surprised because every professional employment contract I’m familiar with has disrepute clause covering both in-work and out-of-work behaviour, across a wide range of sectors. Teaching is a profession where the staff are expected to be role models more than in most other jobs not less. So I’m surprised to hear it’s not usual for teaching.

No he doesn’t. You are judging him on a 30 second interaction where he stupidly said something drunk his sober mind would have kept quiet about. You know absolutely nothing about him apart from the fact he made a tit of himself.

He made an inappropriate comment to an adult in an adult situation

That is no indication he acts the same around children in a school setting

Have you ever done anything daft when drunk OP?

OP, how do you think you'll feel if the governors (or whoever you've contacted) agree with the school?

It’s not ok tell a woman you don’t know you want to bend her over a desk. These are misogynistic, humiliating, degrading, unconsensual sexual comments.
The woman who was subject to them was not ok with it
it is digusting you are defending it, (just like it was disgusting that you were defending forcibly removing a child from the care of her mother , without either’s consent or knowledge because of an argument over a teddy. I know perfectly well that is legal for men to do this- threads pop up on this all the time- it is beyond awful behaviour, and it is not a good look in the courts .)

Acting unprofessionally doesn’t need to rise to the stand of illegal before you have a word. Not everything that is not illegal is ok.

I'm wondering what her "next steps" will be if that's the case.

They are not supposed to bring the school into disrepute. He would be in trouble if this woman was a current pupil or parent.

This thread is totally going to end up in the daily mail or on Facebook and the OP is going to get absolutely dragged on it.

The OP does not have a child still at school.

You're lying about the facts of that past thread, just as you grossly misrepresented the situation in the thread at the time (while giving some incredibly shit takes on the law).

You are also lying when you say I've defended this guy's behavior.

Good luck OP I hope you will update

Which she isn't.

OP - We already know what response you will receive. The school has told you and you told us in your original post.

They will file any further correspondence they receive from you and not respond.

It couldn't be clearer that they have marked you a vexatious complainant and going by everything you have told us yourself, it's easy to see why. It's not something organisations do lightly or very often. You must have made a monumental pain in the arse of yourself.

What that teacher said to you wasn't pleasant, but you are not going to get the outcome you want, because it is not reasonable. Far worse things happen to people every day

Try to claw back some dignity and let it go, for you own sake and for your poor husband's sanity.

Quite.

BUT SHE ISNT! OP...having been a teacher at a gazillion parents evenings, there really isn't time to think about anything other than the same spiel for 58 kids over and over. When he drunkenly said he was thinking about you, I bet he was hyperbolic and maybe he had that thought some point later, but the likelihood of him actually thinking it at the moment he was talking to you in a hall full of sweaty teenagers and harassed parents is vanishingly small.

I wouldn't be surprised if the op worked for the Daily Mail.

Yes, I guess current/former is the difference. Though this would be disrepute territory regardless in the sectors I’m familiar with. The reason I commented in the first place was because I think of teaching as a much more progressive sector than the ones I know best, so the difference in attitude stood out to me. Different standards I guess.

I didn’t give any “takes on the law”. I don’t really see the value in arguing with me about an old thread. I left that thread because I was so appalled. Hopefully the OP has since had some better advice in real life.

The standards when you are in school are rigorous, though.