Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

Christ you must be exhausting
Hes not some predator and it's got nothing to do with school other than that's where you knew each other from.
You say you don't want him losing his job or ruing his life what do you want? What response would satisfy you?

Complaint is rightly going nowhere.

Nonsense!

There would be no "baying for blood", because it would be treated the same way that OP's batshit complaint has been dealt with.

Yes, of course from the victim's perspective, but that still puts the onus on the harasser to think about what the victim will find acceptable or not.

This was nothing to do with a pupil.
It was a teacher, having a night out.
Off duty.

Crappy behaviour but this starts to be awfully authoritarian if everyone ends up being booked by their employer for their personal and perfectly legal (if shit) behaviour. But I'm sure many people will talk about how he's a predator. Ok so let's just go for the pre-crime approach and shun people who might do something bad.

You must be a very ex teacher because the General Teaching Council was abolished in 2012.

Oh give over. Nobody had said it was lovely, most have said it was creepy. But to suggest a school reprimands a teacher for what they get up to on a drunken night out is ridiculous. Contractually they have no right to do that, the same way as any other employer wouldn’t have.

He said it, OP’s friend told him he was out of order, he moved on. This happens thousands of times in bars all across the country. It shouldn’t but it does. It isn’t illegal, I don’t think it rises to the level harassment but if the OP believes it does, her recourse would be to report it to the police, or she could have had him chucked out of the bar.

The police were there @MargoLivebetter .

The point is, where students are concerned, being 'off site' is no excuse for anti-social, inappropriate or lewd behaviour leading to a complaint from a member of the public. Nor is 'being drunk' or 'having a life outside school' ever an excuse for students.

I’ve got to say I agree with this.
Yes, it was a sleazy ill judged stupid comment.
But he moved on quickly and that is the critical part for me.
I genuinely think a “jog on you loser” type response in these circumstances is right..
If there’d been the remotest push back or follow up from him to you, then I would agree with reporting him. This sounded like a shit chat up line.

Surely as women, we can’t expect institutions to act on our behalf spending ever decreasing budgets, every single time an ill judged one off comment is made?

Same. He's pervy, but why involve his work? They're right.

What exactly are you wanting the school to do about it? What would you like to happen?

Which if your children were still there I would understand.

But they're not so approaching you now is totally different

Beyond authoritarian when there is no evidence (I believe the incident did happen, BTW).

@turningpoints but the thread isn't about excuses for bad behaviour, it is about the OP wanting the school to let her know what disciplinary action they are taking against a member of staff on her word.

We can debate schools having drugs sold outside, Karens, Incels, apologists for crappy behaviour until the cows come home but that is not going to change the fact that an employer is not going to discuss disciplinary action against a member of staff with a 3rd party.

So, OP can knock herself out and look increasingly demented reporting her version of events to all and sundry, stalking on Facebook and school websites and it will only put her at risk of legal consequences, not the person she is making the accusations of poor behaviour about.

What happened to telling a drunk idiot to fuck off and leaving it at that when they do. You need to seriously consider what you are looking for here because it is disingenuous of you to say it's for the complaint to be taken seriously. For it to be taken seriously means that you have an outcome you consider appropriate in the circumstances, so be honest with yourself. It appears from your posts you want him reprimanded in so.e way.

You can't say someone like him should not be teaching because his comment was to an adult not a child (and about an adult, not a child) and your children are no longer at the school.

He was hugely unprofessional and horribly inappropriate, but the school is right, it's not for them to take it forward as an official complaint. You no longer have children at the school and the event happened outside of school.

That's their official stance. However, I'd bet my money on it that he's been given the biggest bollocking ever.

The only person who needs to move on is you. There will not be an internal investigation. There is nothing to investigate. The most there will be, as I have already said, is a discreet word with the teacher.

I am in Scotland and it is very much still in existence!

You literally said about going to the press and of course the paper would print why you were complaining. It's character assignation and it will be your word against his

So you want a guy sacked for a silly, drunken remark in a pub? Get over yourself, ffs.

omg, let’s police attraction why don’t we!

the fact he didn’t randomly search her out in his day to day life out tell her his thoughts, he was drunk in a pub and it was happenstance their paths closed and I am sure in his blurry brain thought it was a flattering comment to the OP. he didn’t just shout out to everyone ‘I work at X school everyone’, he referred to where he knew the OP from which is different and I don’t personally think that means he’s representing the school in that moment.

I am 99.99% sure his sober brain is having meltdown now. I am also sure if he could apologise he would.

Your DH is right, move on

He didn’t say he fancied her. He said he wanted to “bend her over the desk” Slightly different. How long until he told her he was. “high value man” and ask her body count…..

I hope he sues you for defamation of character

This would come under the Teachers’ Standards, Part 2: Personal and Professional Conduct. It is a matter for the school to deal with and they should be acknowledging that.