Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

Tbf, harassment and sexual harassment are two different things. Sexual harassment doesn't need to be repeated, but you're only protected from it in limited contexts, like during your employment.

I think everyone has criticised him.

what they don’t think is that he needs to lose his job over it.

Nothing here happened in the workplace though

The OP does have a witness - her friend.

I once saw a load of children, probably in about Year 9, coming out if a school and being given drugs by some guy. I phoned the school then and there and told them what was happening.

Should they have said, "Well people do sell drugs you know. Happens all the time, that's life. What evidence do you actually have? You sound like a Karen. Also, it's off school premises so we're not interested.. Bye."

Ultimately its your word against his.
You have no proof he ever came on to you
Hilarious if he said it was you that came onto him and you got all arsey when he knocked you back...

So...you're now equating selling drugs at the school gates with a drunken pass to a woman who's kids arent even at the school he teaches.

KInnel.

Sleazy, inappropriate but not a reason to contact his work. If he had worked in a bank would you have complained to his workplace? Teachers seem to be kept to different standards and yes I am fully aware teachers work with children but he didn't say this remark to a child, or in their presence

@turningpoints I must have missed the bit where the OP said that her friend had given a statement to the school too.

But if the school ‘take it seriously’ for a an event outside of work, to an ex parent, what do you think will happen? He will have some sort of disciplinary action which he can lose his job for. That is destroying his life.

He’s a sleaze with a crappy chat up line, but moved on the moment you said you weren’t interested.
It didn’t involve any students.
It didn’t involve any current parents of students.
Drunk idiot in the bar is unfortunate but does not warrant a ‘serious’ response from SCHOOL. Schools ought to worry about all the bullying and kids running around with knives, NOT a mum who was mortally offended about a horrible, ill judged comment.

Get a grip OP.

Christ. Who'd be a teacher.

I'm sorry but if thus was an off duty police officer for example people would be baying for blood.

Yes, I know.

What a stupid comment.

When I did a good job at work and was told by a senior director in front of colleagues that it was because I was sh*gging another colleague, HR gave me a definition of sexual harassment: Unwanted attention of a sexual nature. The 'unwanted' part is tricky because it involves the putative harasser judging what might be unwanted. Quite a burden for men like this senior director.

@MrsMappFlint BURN

No. I'm saying schools can and do follow up on public complaints relating to pupils (all types of behaviours) that happen off school premises. It reflects badly on the school.

🙄🍪

You need to get over yourself. One drunken comment does not mean sexual harassment. This is a pathetic thing to get so worked up about. You’re fine, move on.

"Unwanted" means as judged from the victim's perspective.

But it's still not applicable here.

I don't think you are going to get anywhere with this - either with the school of other Mumsnet posters.

It wasn't a clever thing to say, but the drink bringing out his inner sleaze ball. But not a hanging offence.

If you still had a child in the same school you may have more of a case.

Teachers' have ives outside school - some squeaky clean, some slimeballs like this chap and most between the two.

If a teacher gets a conviction, caution etc then sometimes there is a case - but not here. Distasteful as it is it was drunken banter.

If I reported every man who said something a bit gross like that as sexual harassment, I think it would be a full time job dealing with them all.

No-one sensible would set much store by her friend, who is hardly a neutral witness.

How you are managing to draw a parallel between a drunken sexual comment in a bar to an adult and a clear safeguarding risk to a group of minors is beyond me.

That's grim. Some mums would feel quite uncomfortable about approaching him for a parent's evening knowing that he is viewing them as a potential sex fantasy and feels OK to let them know.

He was actually the one who identified himself as a teacher at X school and therefore once, he's done that, he's now "representing" the school.

I would say the Headteacher needs to have a word about how he represents the school when he's recognised, or identifies himself as a teacher, to people who have a link to the school he works at, no matter how tenuous.

See above @IdaGlossop

Also @turningpoints surely if you see someone selling drugs to kids your first phone call is to the police, not the school!!!! The school are not equipped to deal with drug dealers, the police are.