Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

Yeah not a good thing in this circumstances. Maybe channel your proud persistence into something worthwhile and needed. Read the room - your husband and 90% of the people here don’t agree with you.

And how dare you assume that those who don’t agree with you haven't had to ever been in this situation - many have been in this and far worse. Please go back into your protected ludicrous bubble of life.

Employers also have a duty of care to their employees. That's includes protecting them from nutters.

Go through what though? It was one comment and he backed off immediately. As pp said, by making this a massive traumatic event you are undermining those who have actually been assaulted, harassed etc.

@SophEll you will put the school in the position of having to protect their employee from third party harassment if you keep on with this. You reported it, they have acknowledged it. You need to leave it now.

If you were that upset by it you should have reported it to the bar staff and called 111 and made a proper complaint.

@SophEll if that bank story is true, your colleague should have reported their manager to HR. An employer cannot legally take as "truth" what a third party says about a member of staff.

What she is doing is bat shit crazy and it's harassment. Surely she must have something better to do rather than take the piss out of women who have been sexualy harassed. I feel distressed reading her comments. She will do anything to ruin his life over one sleazy stupid comment. How dare she belittle women so she can fuck him up.

Thats not what i said though is it.

I said that his comment was wrong.

But i also think that teachers are judged more when they are out in bars, than any other profession is.

Its like "how dare you have a drink, youre a teacher".

No one is a tecaher 24/7, 7 days a week. They also have a day off. And they are allowed to go for a night out

WTF!

You're dangerous

The Andrew Tate disciples are out in full force today.

What on earth do you think the school could do? What teachers do outside school is none of their business as long as it's not illegal and doesn't involve children. You have no idea what other teachers do in their spare time - probably lots of things you don't approve of but which don't affect their suitability to teach.

School are completely correct. As an employer they have no remit to police what they staff do in their own time. The governors wont get involved in this either.

He was on his own time and drunk what the hell has this got to do with the school, it's not even a current school so you have no connection?!? You have made yourself look v silly. You did not catch him out of hours doing anything which would be a safeguarding issue, had it been anything of the sort of course report him but this is just silly.

How do you propose the school should investigate this? All they could reasonably do was say 'Mr Smith, someone whose child apparently used to go to this school says you made a lewd remark to her in a bar. Is that true?' Then if Mr Smith has got any sense he'll simply say 'No, I had a chat with her but I didn't say anything inappropriate'. There is literally nothing the school can do to establish that you're telling the truth and he isn't. They're a school, not the Crown Prosecution Service. They're not going to start subpoenaing witnesses.

Thoughts and prayers

Why did you post if you're going to pursue it anyway?

He’s a creep but might be very good at his job. As long as he’s not behaving like this within the school environment there’s not really anything they can do. Being a bit of a sleaze isn’t a crime unfortunately.

🤣 Teachers are adult humans. You think sex never crosses their minds?

Goodness. The school must think you’re nuts

Where was the proof for this? Was it not one against the other?

What has he done wrong illegally that can get him into trouble and warrant him losing his job. The school don't care. You agree with the op tell me what hashe done illegally?

The op doesn't think he should try and chat up another woman again.

Some of the replies are a bit OTT here. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s lives for crying out loud - the whole post is about the school’s response. I didn’t email the teacher, post about it on social media or heck even contact his other half who I’m sure would love to know what he’s like on a night out!

If you feel you have been sexually harassed that is a police matter not the persons employer regardless of whether they are a teacher or a plumber or an accountant.

Take it to the police if you want to take it further otherwise stop wasting the schools time.

Yes I agree and rightly so as you are in 'loco parentis' for the children in your care & need to be whiter than white.

I work with vulnerable adults and would never ever approach one if I met them in a pub or anywhere else, let alone speak to one like this. You need to maintain professional boundaries. It's OK to go out & get blasted, but never, ever approach a client or someone associated with them especially if under the influence. Even if they (as has happened) approach me when out with friends, I would say how lovely to see them, thank you for saying Hello, but I'm out with friends right now & looking forward to meeting them at our next appointment. Then I need an urgent visit to the loo. My friends get it & when I come back will say ' assume that's one of your clients?' I will say that I can't say anything & move the conversation on.

No. However, if they did, and then stopped immediately when it was clear I wasn't interested, then I would get over it pretty quickly.

Yes, when sex crosses my mind I too find myself telling people I'd like to bend them over a desk. Happens all the time. What a laugh we all have.