To expect a thank you for wedding gift?

[TheMauveBeaker]

Younger family member got married in January this year, couple already lived together in their own house so ‘traditional’ wedding gifts weren’t required. If anyone wanted to give a gift, they requested cash towards a honeymoon to be taken later, All of my family members gave cash, in cards, which were collected at the reception. Nobody has received a thank you, written, verbal or digital.
Is it no longer a thing to send a thank you, whether it’s a text, a printed card or (highly unlikely) a handwritten note? I genuinely wondered whether it’s a generational thing?

YABU - nobody does that anymore
YANBU - the newly-weds should have sent/made some kind acknowledgment

I always do thank yous, like you say even just a text message! So yanbu

We said strictly no gifts for our wedding, but a few people gave a gift card or something small anyway. Despite them going explicitly against our wishes, we thanked them anyway. Just a text though, one of the reasons we didn't want anything was to avoid the effort of thank you cards when we really didn't have time. Just prompt whichever one is your relative that people want a text thank you?

We sent thank you cards. I might not expect them within a week but they've had enough time since January.

I've noticed that in the 5 weddings I've been too in the last 4 years not once has sent a thank you!

Also we had a mix of cash and presents (my family is a mix of people from a traditional present culture and a traditional cash culture) but I don't know if cash gifts feel more impersonal to some. Perhaps with cash it's less usual to do a personal thank you, I'm not sure.

YANBU but you're whistling in the wind. I send presents off, get delivery notes, purchase items from gift lists, get receipts, and I may as well have put the bloody things on a little raft and pushed them down the river. People don't even text to say thanks any more.

I suppose that the fact we do get delivery notes and receipts lets us know the gifts reached their recipients, but thank-you notes aren't supposed to be purely functional!

To the PP asking: Yes, you should thank for cash gifts! If mentioning the amount feels crass, you put "generous contribution" or similar.

Maybe we went to the same wedding haha, was just saying to DH we hadn’t had a thank you from
a January wedding either. RSVPs were via email too, so they could even have done something that way.

My 2 neices asked for money (if anything) towards their honeymoon. They sent digital thank you letters afterwards with lots if photos
However it was 18 months later…
too long in my humble opinion

I wouldn’t expect anything … I give a gift because I want to give a gift, and expect nothing in return.

I find Thank-you cards etc really cringy.

Have they been on the honeymoon yet?

Maybe they will thank you afterwards.

It is rude though.

Not yet. Maybe that’s what they’re waiting for 🤔

It could be. From my reading of wedding etiquette after the honeymoon was said to be acceptable but I interpreted that as it being because you might not have time to get it done before travelling on honeymoon. Perhaps they've interpreted it differently and think it means you should wait until after even if it's months later.

Wedding thank yous often take a while with honeymoons, getting photos back and cards printed and hand writing maybe 50 cards is time consuming. But it shouldn't take this long!

It’s rude. I have received thank you’d from the recent weddings I’ve been to (of people in their 20’s and 30’s).
I always encourage my young DS to either record a thank you video message, colour a picture, or I’ll just send a thank you text for any gifts he receives. which I’ll continue to encourage (age appropriately!) as he grows older.
How long has it been since the wedding?

Rude.

Where I'm from, thank you cards are less of a thing than in the UK. Even in there we send think you cards for weddings. Usually it is a picture of the bride and groom and a thank you. They are sent to those who attended the wedding and those who sent a gift/cash. They are not personalised and don't mention the specific item. I think this works for cash, gifts and attendance and is not a lot of work.

It never goes out of style to be polite and show gratitude. It's rude not to thank people for their wedding gifts. Hell, I write my family and friends a quick thank you message for my birthday gifts.

I think it’s generational. My DIL only acknowledges gifts given in person and sometimes doesn’t even open them until a few days after the big day.

I am pretty sure the traditional etiquette is within 6 months so there’s still time. I sent ours out over the course of a few weeks from 4 months after - as pp said it took a while to get photos back, get card made with photos and to hand write them all!

i would expect a Thankyou card even if it is just one of those mass produced ones with a photo from the day or similar.All the thank yous I have had recently eg wedding gift or new baby gift have eventually arrived a few months later.

Maybe a thank you text/email/card will arrive during the next few months then. Or maybe it won’t 😂
What’s the etiquette regarding photos (should have put this in my OP)? There was a professional photographer who took 100s of photos of the whole event. Is it usual for a link to view the photos to be sent out to guests afterwards?

I have never had a thank you card from any wedding I’ve been to…ever! And I’m 60 so been to very many. I told my daughter that she really ought to send some form of ‘thank you’ to her guests…she told me that ‘nobody does this now’. She did put a genetic thank you announcement on all her SM, which I’m guessing is what many young couples do now.

Maybe this is ‘the way’ it’s done now..feels rude to me though 🤷‍♀️

I don't think I'd really care/ notice if I didn't get a card, but if you've given someone a gift and they don't even message or call say thanks it's a bit rude.

After our wedding we sent out handwritten thank you cards, including to people who just made the effort to come along and celebrate with us.

You do have to be quite organised though as the bride and groom when opening gifts. Some people rip open all their cards and end up with a big pile of cash and don't have a clue who gave what! I wonder if that happened and they don't actually know who gave them which gifts. We carefully documented it all as we were opening things so we knew who to thank for what.

Most people just say or message thank you these days.

i only know a few people who do cards (for anything) and I’m not one of them.

My dhs niece got married and at the time we could only give £10 in a card due to budget restraints and we got a printed thank you card within two weeks.
My dh did make them a beautiful clock a few months later. We had thought of declining the invite but my sil wouldn't hear of it. We felt a bit embarrassed to not be giving much at the time.
Anyway I think people are getting incredibly rude in general.
When I got married many years ago, we unwrapped the gifts, giving money wasn't really a thing then and wrote on each gift card what we'd received and put it them all in a wedding album, made it easy to thank people properly.