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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a thank you for wedding gift?

102 replies

TheMauveBeaker · 30/04/2025 06:28

Younger family member got married in January this year, couple already lived together in their own house so ‘traditional’ wedding gifts weren’t required. If anyone wanted to give a gift, they requested cash towards a honeymoon to be taken later, All of my family members gave cash, in cards, which were collected at the reception. Nobody has received a thank you, written, verbal or digital.
Is it no longer a thing to send a thank you, whether it’s a text, a printed card or (highly unlikely) a handwritten note? I genuinely wondered whether it’s a generational thing?

YABU - nobody does that anymore
YANBU - the newly-weds should have sent/made some kind acknowledgment

OP posts:
Yodelohoo · 05/10/2025 12:11

Maggiethecat · 04/10/2025 18:42

It’s funny how people think that thanking people (whatever the form) is a bit outdated but don’t think grabbing money/a gift is.

It’s the same kind of people who don’t think friends or relatives buying their kids presents or babysitting for their kids is outdated because it’s the “village”.

However if said “village” tries to help correct their badly behaving child or even advise them on correcting their child they shut it down.

Sammysquiz · 05/10/2025 15:53

DPotter · 04/10/2025 14:28

De facto wedding thank you card etiquitte has certainly changed in the last decade.

I haven't had a thank you for a wedding gift for the last 2-3 weddings I've been to. I think it's rude especially if you're buying gifts from a registery. It's good to know the gift has actually been received. Doesn't have to be an actual card, happy to receive an email.

Back in the day when my friends were getting married (late 80s onwards), I knew brides who had written out their thank cards and envelopes BEFORE the wedding and just filled in the reference to the actual gift before posting out, as soon as they returned from their honeymoon.

We wrote ours before the wedding!! It was recently, not in the 80s though 😁
We had a John Lewis gift-lift so could see in advance who’d bought what, so between us we wrote the lot. There was about 40 gifts, so we did 5-10 cards a night over a week. Then posted them when we got back from honeymoon.

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