Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

So people who work part time should sleep less than people who work full time?

I think it would be really petty to resent it in this senario.

I would find it very frustrating that I have to get up at the crack of dawn and work all day 5 days a week to fund a lifestyle where someone gets to lay in bed for an extra 3.5 hours and then work 2 days on a minimum wage job.

I work full time. I also LOVE to sleep. If I had a partner that worked full time and let me get away with barely working, I totally would. But, I wouldn’t be kidding myself that I wasn’t taking the complete and total piss. As I said, I would, but I’d own it

I'd be pissed personally.

Being the only earner is a huge pressure. You're prioritising sleeping instead of earning and setting both of you up for retirement. If you were contributing equally financially then your husband could potentially retire earlier and you could both relax. But no, you're letting him work while waste half a day sleeping.

If the OP worked full time, her DH would have to take on 50% of the cleaning/cooking/laundry/admin etc on top of his full time job. I wonder if he’d be up for that.

I also don't really understand this resentment thing; unless there are underlying problems, why would someone resent their partner enjoying some extra hours of sleep? My partner often sleeps later than me after I've set off for work and I don't at all think "ugh he's getting something nice while I'm not, he should get up to make me feel better".

People who work part time should expect their spouse to get piased off if they’re sleeping in while someone else funds their life style.

Why don't you want to work full time?

He's not the only earner! And from what OP wrote, he's doing nowt at home! She says she does all cooking, laundry and life admin!

The point the PP was making was that they may both have exactly the same amount of sleep, depending on when they both go to bed. So if they get the same amount of sleep (albeit at different times), is the OP still lazy?

Yes it would bother me, I would tell partner 2 to get a job and to stop being a lazy slob and I will cook my own meals.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but if he's showing irritation then maybe a conversation on the current set up is needed.

Do you think he would prefer you to be full-time but wants you to want to do it(!), rather than him prompting the conversation? Not sure I'm expressing what I mean at all well.

Judgy for honestly answering the question?

Depends on what p2 has been doing all day, given they won't have been at work!

Now come on, p2 is female p1 the male, so of course p2 is the hard done to, hero!! But not allowed to say that or you get berated and told you are a traitor to womanhood!! 😆

From the OP:

doing all the cooking, laundry and life admin.

And on her working days, going to work.

P2 sounds like a bit of a lazy freeloader - I wouldn't tolerate this if the kids are grown up. I work full time and still have to do everything around the house. No way would I be with a layabout.

Those of us who work full time still have to cook and do laundry. And "life admin", give me a break! 🙄

Friend in this situation and Hubby is P2 (not the earlier child care bit, but the time he spends in bed). P1 ends up taking on more of the weekend household and property chores and things that should be getting done with two adults on board, do not. It's causing frustrations.

Well OP's husband apparently doesn't

You're not a sahp anymore so I'd be irritated too, sorry. I'm sure we all love our sleep but some of us incl.your dh just have to get on with it. Would you like if your dh said " i like my sleep " and worked part-time and woke up when his bed is on fire? It's easy to say "it’s never been an issue, we are a team". Of course you'd say that because the arrangement works fine for you. It clearly is somewhat of an issue for your dh, hence the digs.

But he funds practically everything!

Gotta laugh at the "life admin". The clarion call of the terminally lazy.

If the OP went back to work full time he’d have to pick up 50% of the cooking/cleaning/laundry etc. I imagine after 20+ years after having it all done for him he’d rather not.