After school detention is a thing now?

[PennyWhistleSweet]

My 11 yr old yr 7 son has been issued an after school detention for disrespecting a new teacher.

We never had them at my high school and wanted to know what you all thought of them.

Myself, I'm currently at whits end with him calling me a fucking bitch and pushing me etc (another thread for another day) so I'm hoping this might give him a bit of a shock.

After school detentions were definitely a thing when I wss at school late 90s/00s. I never had one but others I knew did.

My children are genuinely very well behaved so have never had a detention, so I'm not sure if after school ones are a thing st their school. If they were given one, they wouldn't be able to attend due to family logistics and them being able to get home safely, but for being rude to a teacher I'd absolutely support the school in punishing in another way - lunchtime detentions for a week or something.

Been "a thing" for at least 50 years, OP!
Your child needs to take his punishment, and you need to 100% support the school.

Detentions were a thing when I was in high school back in the late 90’s and they are still a thing now.
My son is in the same year as yours and if they don’t do their homework etc they are kept behind until it’s done after school.
There must be something going on for the sudden behaviour change, unless he’s always mocked you if you’ve tried to correct him?
My son is pretty stroppy at the moment ( think a hormone surge is happening) however it would not even cross his mind to swear at me and put his hands on me, hope you get to the bottom of it because he’s only going to get bigger and stronger and cannot be shoving people around.

Our school does verbal warning lunch time detention after school detention longer after school detention suspension a few weeks in another school to see of that sorts your behaviour then expulsion where your put in a pru until you straighten up or get thrown out the pru is really hard to get thrown out of but not impossible we did have one child literally smash there head through the window they were allowed back after therapy

Sometimes your straight to suspension though it does depend on the offences being rude - detention smashing up a classroom- suspension

I'm a teacher and they were a thing until just before covid

After school detentions were a thing when I was at secondary in the 90s and they’re still a thing now at my kids’ school. I think they get lunchtime detention for less serious offences though.

11 is definitely not too young to start being influenced by the manosphere - it starts in Year 4 around here! Especially if he has Snapchat, has recently gone to secondary school where he wants to impress new friends, and is starting to have new feelings about girls and women that he doesn't know how to deal with.

Respectfully, this is your 11 year-old child. There shouldn’t be any “deep issues” that you’re not aware of. How long has he had unfettered access to the internet? Have you at least blocked porn sites? (If you haven’t, he’s absolutely been on them.)

I was surprised to read after your OP that you are married to be honest. Is your husband his father? Why has he not addressed his son kicking you, spitting on you, and calling you a bitch?

I thought all detentions were after school?

Why is your son acting up so badly? Is there something going on with home?

i suspect it is beyond his control, to a degree, at least...

We only had after school detentions but they were only for not doing homework. In theory a teacher could arrange their own lunchtime detention for bad behaviour but they never did and I can't say I blame them.

They are all darlings in primary. In secondary they are exposed to so much shit behaviour from other pupils and it takes a solid friend group to keep them afloat.

You are insinuating that his bad behaviour is due to the new teacher. He's got many different teachers though so he's not with them all the time. Is he being bullied by the new teacher you think?

I had after school detention in the '60s

But thats the entire point. To be a huge annoyance to the child and the parent so that it deters the behavior. You are forced to deal with the ramifications of your childs behavior because it inconveniences you.

We’ve had them starting at age 7. Our parents were given advance warning (1 week?) so they could adapt their schedules. But that was a private school.

we were just expected to deal with it from… maybe the age 14?

I’m 27 and we had Friday afterschool detentions or a Saturday morning detention if it was something serious.

SO you want the teacher (who isn't paid for lunch) to miss their lunch to make things easier for you?

I had after school detentions in the 2000s. We only had 30 minutes for lunch so wouldn’t have been able to have detention then as well. 15 minute or 30 minute detentions were on the same day and 1 hour detentions were on a different day so you had time to arrange alternative travel if it meant missing the bus. The risk of missing the bus was an incentive to not get a detention.

Our secondary school always had after school detention but only on Fridays when they have a half day.

I'm 37 and it was definitely a thing when I was at school

My secondary gives after-school detention for relatively minor forgetting kit , wrong uniform, being late to a lesson, being in a building your shouldn't , getting a phone out, and not completing homework. Parents get 24 hours ' notice and no excuses.

After school detentions were a thing during my schooling in the 80s, and were definitely still a thing when my kids were at secondary school (2 different schools) in the 2000s & 2010s.

DD & I both attended the same school (obviously aeons apart) which had a wide catchment area which covered rural, villages & towns, and at secondary you were expected to get yourself to & from school every day. Very few girls were dropped off by their parents, and it was only if you were on one of the private school coaches that you could serve the detention during school time.

Detentions would be chucking at around the same time as sports matches were finishing, so we’d all just bundle into the town centre & catch the bus home.

DH went to the kinda brother Boys’ school, and the rural lads (like girls in our school) would bike into school, but for the boys when legal to drive would try & one up themselves by driving tractors/sees thrower thing (he turned the seed distribution thing on in the car park for laughs) & one drove himself in on a combine harvester (although DH said his plan to run it across the school field was thwarted when the teen found the school gates to be too small to allow ingress)!

Blame whichever local authority for cutting bus services over the last few decades, and your child for actually getting the detention, rather than blaming the school for - shock horror - showing kids that actions have consequences.

Is there any wonder schools are losing so many teachers when parents have attitudes like this.

Bet the teacher was a woman.

What's he accessing online? What are his friends like?

Time for his father to man up and deal firmly with him.

If my brother had spoken to mum like that ... Yikes.