Offended by friend’s comments about party food

[LinsMum22]

We hosted my friend, her husband and three kids yesterday afternoon. Our sons are in the same football team and we said we’d put some food on at ours after and watch the Liverpool match who they both support. My friend agreed to party style food being the best option as everyone could pick at it as and when.

Amongst other things, there was - Indian selection, tempura prawns, sausage rolls, mini pizza’s, mini sausages, chips, breaded chicken. So a good mix all from Iceland where we’ve had positive comments on the food before.

I could tell my friends’ youngest looked unimpressed when they tried one of the items, and pulled a face to my friend. She made no
attempt to get them to try another item and basically said ‘I know’. I noticed five minutes later she had barely ate anything herself either.

15/20 minutes later, the youngest moaned again and this time my friend said ‘don’t worry, we will stop at McDonald’s on the way back as I’m hungry too.’

I text her after they left to say sorry if they didn’t enjoy the food. She replied to say they didn’t realise it would be that sort of food and that they’d have got something else before coming round if they realised!!

AIBU to find this really snobby and ungrateful? The fact she then took the kids to get a McDonald’s makes no sense!!

Those mini frozen pizzas do not taste like a ‘normal’ pizza, sorry! They’re pretty vile. They don’t even taste like normal frozen pizzas.

Again, just my opinion, and I would have been tactful, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have eaten this food and I don’t think it’s fair to force feed a child something they genuinely don’t like.

It's nibbles with the footy on, not one of Hyacinth's candle lit suppers 😂
As if all these comments asking if there's anything fresh as well, (salads etc) and saying "that's not party food, to me party food is Parma ham etc....."
Even if it's not to a person's liking, it's so rude to comment and moan on it and say you're off to McDonald's afterwards in earshot of the host.

If you don’t like what’s there, and there’s nothing in the house for dinner when you get home, McDonald’s is the quick and easy option on the way home, if you like McDonald’s.

I don’t think this was a thing of principle, it’s no deeper than the child genuinely didn’t like the food.

However, OP, if this was me I would have just addressed it at the time and said ‘sorry, little Johnny doesn’t like the food (eye roll, apologetic look) - he’s so fussy. I’m going to have to promise him a McDonald’s on the way home or none of us will hear the end of his hunger to be able to enjoy the game’. Instead she’s tried to be more discreet but has in doing so been far less discreet and upset you more.

Sometimes these things happen. You can’t force feed a child and you also don’t want your hungry child to spoil the event. A hungry adult can just suck it up, a hungry child can’t.

Lots of fuss about not very much in my opinion!

This is hilarious, it’s all made ‘fresh’ by the same round of suppliers to each supermarket’s spec but then some is frozen some isn’t.
She’s not the brightest bulb by the sounds of things if she thinks there’s anything superior quality wise about an M&S nugget 🤣🤣🤣

Just seen your update. People like that make me laugh.
I bet if she hadn't seen the boxes, or knew they were from Iceland, she wouldn't have known any different from Marks and Spencers or wherever.
She's just a raging snob.

I can't say I'd be happy with that spread either (or the equivalent M&S option!), but it was very rude of your friend and her child to make their disappointment obvious and to say they'd be eating elsewhere after leaving your place.

YABU for forgetting the larks' tongues in aspic, OP.

To me party food is sandwiches, sausage rollls, ice cream and cake, but they were very rude regardless.

I'm not a fussy eater at all, never have been, but as a child we visited an Italian neighbour who served some sort of cake we all really struggled with. Maybe it was nuts or something, it was very different to anything I'd ever had before. When neighbour left the room, mum put it in her handbag so as not to offend!

Your friend has bad manners OP. One of my DC is a nightmare with food but there are much better ways to deal with it in front of a host than what she did. Modelling good behaviour by at least trying the food properly herself in front of her child would have been a good start.

<goes off to see whether 'ShineAsAHostess' has already been snapped up as a MN username>

For those who think Iceland food is less healthy than higher-end party food from elsewhere - it isn't.

All supermarket ready-made food - from budget to gourmet - is ultra-processed and has similar amounts of the ingredients (thickeners/gums, stabilisers, emulsifiers, preservatives) that alter the make-up of the gut microbiome, which makes us sicker via inflammation.

A couple of carrot sticks aren't going to change that fact unfortunately.

Nothing’s wrong with sandwiches. There’s also nothing wrong with trifle, or cheese and crackers, or Black Forest gateau. But none of that was on offer! The point is it’s bloody rude to insult what the OP WAS offering!

Your friend sounds very rude and ungrateful. I would be mortified if my child made it obvious they were unimpressed with someone’s food in their home.
to loudly announce a mcds trip was just unnecessary.
I would not be hosting her again!

But how did she know?! You put it on a plate right? Didn't present it in the boxes???

She sounds like a silly snob

Yes, the difference is the price point.

I've made that sort of food from scratch, OP, and it took two days to make a buffet for 20 people. Never again! That's why supermarkets sell it in shedloads.

This. Total bad manners all round. If someone is kind enough to provide free food, be grateful and eat up. I’m always grateful if I don’t have to cook and someone else has made an effort. I taught my kids to be grateful too and to be polite even if they didn’t like what was being offered. Not sure why people are commenting on whether they would have liked the party food. It’s not about what they would have chosen 🙄

And yet somehow there isn’t a permanent epidemic of “bellyache” amongst Iceland customers…

Fwiw I do think the M&S offer tastes better, they do do that stuff well. There's no way it's healthier though and she was v v rude.

This x 1000000000.

This x 1000000000.

These MN scenarios are beyond belief. Do people really have these conversations? The main purpose of the afternoon was to enjoy the football.

She was very rude. I don't like Iceland frozen food either. It's looks nice but it just doesn't taste nice to me.
But that's not the point. If she and her child didn't want to eat it they can just not eat it. Nobody is going to starve because they miss one meal. No excuse for being rude to the host.

Totally this. I knew someone who worked in a chicken factory and they put different lables on the same chicken. Same with someone who worked in a bakery.

Agree with this.

Incredibly rude at every point.

I suspect it’s not snobby more that prawns and Indian etc were pushing their sphere of experience. McDonald’s is pretty lowbrow food; I doubt they would have thought this wasn’t as “ classy”! 😆
I think they are probably fussy with very limited palates.

As I don’t. I’ve still been able to eat onion bhajis, spring rolls, potato wedges, mini quiches and pizzas etc. at parties. And I’ve enjoyed all of it. I certainly didn’t cry in the corner over the lack of stir fried kale.

Exactly.

Whether it’s what you would choose is beside the point.