Offended by friend’s comments about party food

[LinsMum22]

We hosted my friend, her husband and three kids yesterday afternoon. Our sons are in the same football team and we said we’d put some food on at ours after and watch the Liverpool match who they both support. My friend agreed to party style food being the best option as everyone could pick at it as and when.

Amongst other things, there was - Indian selection, tempura prawns, sausage rolls, mini pizza’s, mini sausages, chips, breaded chicken. So a good mix all from Iceland where we’ve had positive comments on the food before.

I could tell my friends’ youngest looked unimpressed when they tried one of the items, and pulled a face to my friend. She made no
attempt to get them to try another item and basically said ‘I know’. I noticed five minutes later she had barely ate anything herself either.

15/20 minutes later, the youngest moaned again and this time my friend said ‘don’t worry, we will stop at McDonald’s on the way back as I’m hungry too.’

I text her after they left to say sorry if they didn’t enjoy the food. She replied to say they didn’t realise it would be that sort of food and that they’d have got something else before coming round if they realised!!

AIBU to find this really snobby and ungrateful? The fact she then took the kids to get a McDonald’s makes no sense!!

I hope this sticks around. "Cancel the cheque, penis beaker, shine as a hostess"

Genuinely wondering who is voting YABU?

Would you really be outright rude where someone has paid for food and hosted you. Even if it wasn't to your taste, would you not just either politely pick at it or leave it altogether and not make a snide comment in front of your host?

Tbh I wouldn't have eaten anything either, but would not be so rude as to comment on the upf.

She was rude to let you know the food wasn’t to her and DC’s liking; as the host, you can cater as you see fit. I’d argue it was rude of her not to offer to bring any food, especially if she is picky about what she eats. As you say, then hotfooting it to McDonald’s is baffling.

She was rude to mention it obviously. Me and mine would have loved your buffet.

However it does remind me of a posh christening in Hampstead we went to. The baby was a few months old and the parents had no other children so seemed to have that PFB view of children. The children’s buffet consisted of hummus, pitta bread, carrot and cucumber sticks etc. You get the picture. It was held in the church hall and it became apparent there was lots of comings and goings outside the back door of the hall.

Turned out there was someone doing secret runs to McDonalds to get food because no one wanted the buffet. Ended up with an almost untouched buffet but happy children who had eaten.

It wasn't a children's party. A lot of posters seem to have assumed this was something like a young child's birthday party, hence all the references to sandwiches, crisps and ice cream. It was a social gathering to watch football together, with a few adults and a few children. If I hear 'party food' I assume food for a social gathering, and the precise form it takes depends on who's coming and who's the host.

Absolutely, but it should only be allowed ironically - e.g. not when someone is hosting a nice dinner party but in the nost mundane/unglamorous circs

E.g "should I let the builder use my toilet even though he left a mess last time?"
Answer "of course! Removing someone else's skid marks is how one shines as a hostess!"

I do wonder what some of the people are like that come out with this crap completely seriously. Hyacinth bucket rides again!

I doubt it if she was content to go to McDonald’s on the way home.

If I’m honest I’m quite picky in these situations. I don’t like things that have been frozen, but then I don’t really like McDonald’s much either except in rare emergencies.

But because I know I’m a bit picky, I go to great lengths not to hurt feelings. I sometimes take something I’m offered even I don’t particularly want it and if refusing would look like I was rejecting it and have been known to slip it in my pocket then flush it in the loo when I felt the host was getting the idea I didn’t want to eat it. Or sometimes it’s just best to swallow some really. It’s over in a few seconds. Try to stay low pro, away from the buffet etc if you know it isn’t your thing.

I think lots of this rudeness comes from the current fashion for not filtering at all. Of course there are times when it’s important to have the skills to speak out. But in a pendulum swing against times when people were too repressed about doing so - especially, perhaps, women in some situations - we have swung all the way in the other direction so that people think it’s kind of heroic to have zero filter.

It’s just rude. Next we will all be farting at top volume in social situations because it’s our right to do so.

ETA apologies, I’m not sure how that quote got attached! I meant to quote another pp!

M&s deli used to be a nice treat when it was 3 for £7 a few years ago, although even then the portions for lots of the stuff was miniscule, but now it's 2 for £7 on most of the stuff it's a complete rip off! You could spend well over £100 and not really have much to show for it!

I would have been snide op and said something like "fair enough, next time I'll probably just order McDonald's as I know you all like that!"

I know; I initially posted thinking it was and then reread and edited my post. Regardless, many people serve the sort of food that OP put out for non-child focused events and it goes down well. I wonder why the guest didn’t offer to bring something if she was expecting ‘effort’ food; or suspected (as I would) that OP might have shopped Iceland’s freezer aisle. A lack of communication here.

The choice of food was absolutely fine for watching the footie.

I'd say it was a case of your friends lacking good taste, not your catering.

Well I know on my last post I said Iceland party food was awful, but to be honest the alternative she offered is just as crap and way overpriced.I think most party food tastes awful, which is why I would rather have some other options as well.

Her McDonalds comment could have been to pacify her rude child, thinking if she said they will go to McDonalds after it would shut him up for complaining about your food. She clearly felt embarrassed enough to apologise to you today as she should.

I think something you’re missing because you’re offended though, is that some people cannot choke down something they don’t like to be polite (I’m one of them. I couldn’t eat what you served if my life depended on it).

The drama of it all! “I just couldn’t choke it down…” 🙄🙄

If your life really depended on it, you’d be pushing old grannies out of their zimmers to get to those Iceland samosas before they did.

Your friend was very rude. Having said that, I feel we must move away from all this highly processed food - it's so bad for our health.

OP - your 'friend' was extremely rude. I would be dropping her unless there was some kind of apology or at least an explanation forthcoming very soon. Oh - and in invitation back catered by Fortnum's.

Your food sounds just right for the occasion but whatever someone's personal tastes, to criticise or 'turn their noses up' at your offerings marks them as ill-mannered and boorish.

I agree there's a lot of quite bizarre snobbery on this thread! I'm considered posh but I'd have loved the Iceland spread. I think people are naive in thinking that these party canape things are made by totally different manufacterers - I'm sure Waitrose, M & S, Tesco etc etc use the same makers and just change the packaging.

(By the way - to anyone being snobbish on here, Waitrose is most definitely NOT the tops! If you live in Cumbria, Lancashire or Cheshire, a fantastic supermarket called Booths knocks them into a cocked hat. Now, that's posh!)

OMG OP, i cant believe there wasn't any organic quinoa, what is wrong with you?

glad she apologised but was still rude making comments-if she wants m and s food she should have brought some herself

I’m absolutely with you; I don’t eat the sort of stuff OP served but I would have checked what sort of food she was thinking of serving and either brought stuff DC and I would be happy to eat or eaten in advance. Edit - my DC would wolf down OP’s spread, it’s just me who’s got a bit fussy with age. I don’t eat McDonald’s either!

Agreed! When my restricted eater son was young, I always mentioned it in advance to anyone who was likely to feed him and offered to take something along.

If you go to McDonalds you have no excuse for turning your nose up at Iceland food.
I don't tend to buy or eat this sort of thing but I suspect Iceland is just as good as M&S.
Let her host in future and spend a fortune if she wants.

I wouldn't touch food from Iceland because I HAVE good taste 🙄

I asked whether she had any recommendations for future

You’re way more polite than me, OP! I would have had a recommendation for what she could do in future and it would not have involved preheating the oven!

Quite right Hyacinth.

😆

Well she can fuck right off! The rudeness and ingratitude of some people is staggering.