Offended by friend’s comments about party food

[LinsMum22]

We hosted my friend, her husband and three kids yesterday afternoon. Our sons are in the same football team and we said we’d put some food on at ours after and watch the Liverpool match who they both support. My friend agreed to party style food being the best option as everyone could pick at it as and when.

Amongst other things, there was - Indian selection, tempura prawns, sausage rolls, mini pizza’s, mini sausages, chips, breaded chicken. So a good mix all from Iceland where we’ve had positive comments on the food before.

I could tell my friends’ youngest looked unimpressed when they tried one of the items, and pulled a face to my friend. She made no
attempt to get them to try another item and basically said ‘I know’. I noticed five minutes later she had barely ate anything herself either.

15/20 minutes later, the youngest moaned again and this time my friend said ‘don’t worry, we will stop at McDonald’s on the way back as I’m hungry too.’

I text her after they left to say sorry if they didn’t enjoy the food. She replied to say they didn’t realise it would be that sort of food and that they’d have got something else before coming round if they realised!!

AIBU to find this really snobby and ungrateful? The fact she then took the kids to get a McDonald’s makes no sense!!

I wouldn’t have liked it but I also wouldn’t have gone to McD tbh.
did you serve anything fresh at all?

Putting frozen stuff in the oven is not a thoughtful genuine effort! 😂
i feel sad for you if you think that’s good hosting.

I don't like those sorts of pre made shove it in the oven things, i find they are often disappointing especially from places like iceland. She might have expected fresh food.... but then mcdonalds is no better

Fruit! While watching the footy
Fucking hell 😂 😂 😂

See i really don't get this. Don't you ever put out a punnet of strawberries or blueberries? Most people love fruit, its sweet, its refreshing

She didn’t say that was how she hosts.

But OP and the other mum had agreed party food, and with 5+ kids there, most people would know that means frozen oven food!

What would you have served as party food?

They're watching a football match on telly, it's not a gourmet evening. Frozen snacks heated in the oven are perfectly appropriate in this context.

Along my mates people would actually cook/prepare fresh food, it would not be the norm to host & offer up trays of oven baked beige.

It would be:

• charcuterie/cheese/fresh bread, lots of salad, fruit etc
• freshly cooked barbecued meat, side dishes
• freshly cooked good quality pizzas for children
• pulled pork rolls and salad

-Veg sticks & hummus definitely

There would always be fresh veg/salad/fruit and sides made from scratch etc

They're watching a football match on telly, it's not a gourmet evening. Frozen snacks heated in the oven are perfectly appropriate in this context.

Missing the point that among some groups of friends frozen snacks heated in the oven are not really ever eaten.

Personally I find frozen UPF disgusting, but I grew up in a different country and culture where hosting is highly valued and means serving fresh foods not ready meals. But as I said before McD is no better really. And I am clearly in the minority here as most people think this is a delicious party buffet.

That's fine, it takes all kinds. But there's no reason to suppose that people who never eat frozen snacks heated in the oven (and therefore presumably have no idea what such snacks are like, anyway) are in any sense superior to those who do.

Is this a subtle dig at Iceland who are advertising heavily on Mumsnet at the moment?

I’ve lived in a town with an Iceland for 20 years and never set foot in it once.
Perhaps I’m missing something?

But I don’t go to Macdonalds either.

Anyway OP’s friend had no manners.

So rude of her. Don’t invite her again.
I’d be tempted to text her saying you thought she was a bit rude etc, but I guess what’s the point.

I would cut her off. Rude cow.

@Kittyfluff I LOVE raw carrot! I eat carrot sticks with my lunch, make huge bowls of coleslaw with grated carrot and shredded cabbage and often have a raw carrot instead of an apple. But, like you, I'd be polite. I'd maybe eat a bit of what was on offer and I'd say thank you.

Whether you'd like this food or not is irrelevant. The woman was unbelievably rude.

Are there any allergies or intolerances? I can't eat pork or lactose myself. And BIL is gluten free, DS is veggie, his kids are lactose intolerant, DH throws up if he eats fish. We're a nightmare to cater for!
I assume you would know that though and have catered appropriately.
The kid was rude and the mum was worse. You could ask if she's gluten intolerant or something - as you can't think of any other reason for refusing perfectly good food and then being rude about it.

Shockingly rude. I’d not have them round again.

She should have contributed something. I don’t think she’s a snob at Iceland if she went to McDonald’s after. Don’t invite her again.

Your friend was rude, but I have to agree with her about the food you served. It’s not anything I would personally want to eat and not all kids like that kind of food. I’m no snob and there are some frozen foods I would eat, but I personally would have had some things like cucumber/carrot sticks, cheese, maybe a couple of sandwiches so people have the option.

I tend to always give people coming over a heads up on what I’m planning to cook and ask if that’s okay for them. I wouldn’t change the whole menu if that’s what my family like to eat but I would always make sure there is something for guests as well.

I would prefer a McDonalds over Iceland party food any day. it’s probably the worst party food you could buy.

The food does not matter!

As another poster said, this is now peak Mumsnet. Posters falling over themselves to distance themselves from an Iceland platter. I’m bored senseless with the hummus, crudités and charcuterie spread that people are swooning over. Believe me, they are not “classy” or sophisticated to anyone but Brits.

The rule for guests is that you politely decline anything that might make you physically sick, have a go at a selection of what’s offered, make grateful and appreciative noises and then eat properly when you get home.

Oh my…get over yourself. It was a family with kids going over to watch a football game, not a dinner party for the royals 😂

But there's no reason to suppose that people who never eat frozen snacks heated in the oven (and therefore presumably have no idea what such snacks are like, anyway) are in any sense superior to those who do.

Well, they are probably healthier.

I wouldn't enjoy most of what was provided, BUT I wouldn't be rude about it and I would definitely shut down my child, if they didn't like it (and I would apologise for their pickiness). I'm not a huge fan of beige food so I'd struggle to eat most of it, but I'd definitely cram down a couple of bits to be polite.

Sure. That McDonald's they eat afterwards was so much healthier.

There’s nothing wrong with Iceland party food at all. For all our kids party’s we get those and throw in a few crisps sandwiches and fruit. Your friends being ungrateful tbh. I’d be well happy if my friend went to the effort for my family.

I think given the fact that she's happy to eat frozen crap, as long as it's 'high end' frozen crap makes her snobby and rude. Especially given she agreed to the menu in advance.

Basically, if it was from M&S she would have scoffed it.